Alright – so today we’ve got the honor of introducing you to Sasha Carrera. We think you’ll enjoy our conversation, we’ve shared it below.

Alright, Sasha thanks for taking the time to share your stories and insights with us today. What’s been the most meaningful project you’ve worked on?

Usually the most meaningful project is whatever I’m currently working on! Haha! I mean, that’s true in the moment but when I look back, I think it’s been projects I’ve initiated and I probably have to thank the lack of meaningful projects for that! More than once, I’ve been at an audition and the casting director has said “Why aren’t you working?” and I always want to say “You tell me!” But when I get past the “I’m such a loser” self-pity reaction, I realize that if I were consistently working in projects that fed my soul, I wouldn’t need to be making my own. And if I get really existential about it, then I think maybe making my own work is what I’m really meant to be doing in the grand scheme of things.

So, I started writing projects for myself about ten years ago — the first was a short, a story that sort of fell into my head, almost fully formed, so I wrote it out and a friend challenged me to make it, so I did. It was sweet, but not super provocative or deep, but it proved that I could do it. The project I’m currently producing, started as a diary project for my own enjoyment, but when I shared it, it resonated with so many other women, I turned it into a screenplay — it speaks to these really difficult years of middle-age where the career didn’t quite turn out as planned, and for women like me who somehow managed to not be partnered, not have kids, some of us feel like we’re staring down the barrel of old age totally alone and terrified! But at the same time, is it really too late to do the things we wanted to do? Does anyone care? It’s a time when we start to be invisible which on the one hand is hard to take, but on the other hand, invisibility is one of those super-powers, where you can do whatever you want, cause who’s actually looking?

Great, appreciate you sharing that with us. Before we ask you to share more of your insights, can you take a moment to introduce yourself and how you got to where you are today to our readers.

It all started with the ballet – I saw Coppelia on TV when I was about 4 years old and it was all over for me. I HAD to be a ballet dancer and I danced very seriously through high school. I was in a pre-professional training program where I left school early every day to dance. So really, I’ve been performing for as long as I can remember. But I had also fallen in love with theatre, I remember my mom volunteered at the box office for a college production of HMS Pinafore when I was about eight and I watched every single performance of that run.

When it was clear I was not going to be a ballet dancer, and would be going to college instead, I made the switch to acting and majored in theatre. After graduating, I did my conservatory training in New York City, spent a few years knocking around the East Coast, New York, D.C., Boston, and then spent many more years in Los Angeles. But I never got my “big break.” So I started writing my own material and in 2013, I produced my first film, Mr. Hopewell’s Remedy. We took Hopewell to a number of festivals, but I remember quite clearly, going to Myrtle Beach, which was partly an excuse to visit with my aunt and uncle and my parents could join us, but my mom was really having trouble with dementia.

That sealed the deal for me — L.A. had never really felt like home, my career hadn’t gone the way I had hoped and I wanted to soak up whatever was left of my mom. So I moved back to Maryland and took care of my mom for the last two years of her life. At the same time, I was meeting other creatives in the area, I took a comedic story-telling class with Comedian Marc Unger, which is how my role in Thespian (award-winning, Baltimore-based webseries) came about. A few months after my class ended, Marc called and asked “How would I like to play a bi-polar, alcoholic, aging actress” and that’s how I became series regular, Petra Antonelli.

I also started working with the Endangered Species (theatre) Project — the artistic director, Christine Mosere, and I are very in sync so it’s wonderful to have input about the plays she chooses and other projects during the year and she is able to offer Equity contracts, so it’s a terrific artistic home for me.

But the big thing right now for me is SPINSTERS — the screenplay I mentioned earlier that’s now in pre-production. It’s set in the town I’m living in (where my mom grew up), I have an amazing director, Niav Conty from New York and though the story is obviously inspired from my own life, we are finding the themes of coming back home, aging parents, paths not taken, redefining ourselves, our purpose and our priorities in in midlife resonate across the board.

Is there something you think non-creatives will struggle to understand about your journey as a creative?

I’m not sure that non-creatives understand the compulsive nature of the creative life. I remember people used to say “If there’s anything else in the world you can do, other than act, do it.” And I used to think, “There’s a ton of stuff I can do, I’m a really good student” so I thought that meant, I wasn’t “meant” to be an actor. What I didn’t understand was, my soul starts to die when I’m not acting. Even if it’s just in class, even if it’s just doing my vocal warmups every morning. I have got to be working on something creative or depression starts kicking in and I feel like my insides are shriveling up. And I say “I quit” all the time. I quit. I’m not doing it. And the next day I get up and go at it again because I am compelled to do it, even if I’m not making money, even if I’m not “successful” by any objective measure. This kind of comes back to the very first question, because some of that “I quit” mentality comes when I’m not even succeeding at getting the work that’s not particularly meaningful — although, quite honestly, doing the preparation reveals how even “not meaningful” work, becomes meaningful when I fully invest. I don’t always think that when I’m bitter at not having been hired, but that’s when I really turn my focus onto honing my craft (I am usually in a class of some kind) or digging into my writing projects.

Can you tell us about a time you’ve had to pivot?

I’m not sure if this is a real “pivot” but the question of a “B” job has haunted me since I was a kid. My grandfather on my dad’s side was an immigrant from Italy — he was a barber by trade, but he loved the violin and played in an orchestra when I was growing up. He was a total arts lover, but he would always say “as a hobby” — not as a career. My grandmother, on my mom’s side, was always talking about how I’d give up ballet once I “discovered” boys. So I had these competing messages, get a real job and get a man. Or maybe both. So I tried. I got a husband who started off as a poet but then gave up on his own art and went to law school and convinced me to do the same. And I DID! Well, both the marriage and the law thing failed — I ended up right back where I’d started,

But I guess the idea I wish I’d been taught instead, was that it’s not either/or. Maybe these days kids aren’t brought up that polarized, but I wish someone had given me the tapestry metaphor when I was growing up — that we all do a whole lot of different things and finding things that mesh together is what’s important, not finding that one thing, one person, one anything. Having a steady source of income that allows the freedom to perform is the definition of a full life, it doesn’t mean you gave up or failed. And also the notion that there’s no finish line and no timeline, things unfold as they unfold and just because it didn’t happen by 25 doesn’t mean some other version isn’t still possible. And whatever “it” is shouldn’t be defined by what others see, it should be defined by that internal sense of fulfillment, purpose, job well done — the meaningful work idea that I keep coming back to.

Contact Info:

• Website: www.sashacarrera.com
• Instagram: im.sashacarrera
• Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/sasha.carrera
• Other: imdb: https://www.imdb.com/name/nm3150019/

Image Credits
Vanie Poyey (headshot)