We caught up with the brilliant and insightful Sarah Spurlock a few weeks ago and have shared our conversation below.
Sarah, looking forward to hearing all of your stories today. Let’s start with the story of your mission. What should we know?
As a girl growing up in a strict, patriarchal religious community, I was conditioned to believe there was only one path for me: to get married young, go to college, and work until I have lots of kids. I married at 22 before my prefrontal cortex was developed, but I was never happy – in fact, throughout my twenties, I dreamt of a different life. Somewhere deep down, I knew there was more out there for me, but I didn’t feel worthy of any other path. And I had no idea how to even get there.
After seven years of taking small risks to establish self-trust and little sparks of confidence, I left my marriage and filed for divorce – the first in my family. From there, I switched career paths, moved to Los Angeles, reconnected with my high school sweetheart, remarried, and started pursuing feminist writing.
Today, I write for women and femmes who were exactly where I was in that marriage – confused and curious about what else might be out there for them. My mission is to be a resource that I wish I had when I was going through that scary and exciting time. I had to learn everything through trial and error, and I am motivated to share my story and the methods I used to step into my true power and reclaim the life that I was meant to live.
Awesome – so before we get into the rest of our questions, can you briefly introduce yourself to our readers.
I earned a Bachelor’s from UC Davis in Political Science and a Master’s from Sacramento State in History, so I’ve always been a storyteller who likes to talk about power and how it’s used and wielded among populations. I started my career in grant writing for a non-profit women’s history museum in Denver, Colorado, and I eventually migrated to Los Angeles and moved into marketing roles. After five years in real estate marketing, I left to pursue my writing in January 2023.
I write two popular Substack newsletters: The Imminent Empress, about creativity and spirituality, and Reclaiming: a feminist newsletter, for feminists of all genders. I am published in Insider, Yahoo News, and other outlets, and I am working on publishing my first book about sobriety and witchcraft.
Additionally, I work as a freelance writer/communications consultant for women and femme professionals who seek to fill a void in a patriarchal society, whether it’s a product, service, or storefront business. In this work, I create resumes, press and public relations writing, biographies, crisis messaging, social media, and do ghostwriting for my clients. I believe there will never be enough stories about women asking, “what else is out there for me?” and chasing their dreams. There will never be enough examples of brave women deciding to blaze their own trails and pulling a chair up to the table – and I want to help them tell their stories to inspire other women to do the same.
We often hear about learning lessons – but just as important is unlearning lessons. Have you ever had to unlearn a lesson?
I’ve had to unlearn many old lessons and codes from the conservative environment of my childhood, but perhaps the most important is that I must present myself in one specific way (buttoned-up, polished, demure). This one lesson kept me locked in a box, afraid to reveal my true authentic self. I felt trapped, and I was deeply unhappy being unable to express myself in the way that felt the most real and freeing during those first three decades of my life. The real me is not buttoned-up, and I’m certainly not demure (I can be pretty polished though!) – I’m rebellious, I’m not afraid to take up space, I’m unapologetically me. I didn’t know that back then, but I knew I wasn’t being true to myself.
During the early Covid lockdowns, I watched RuPaul’s MasterClass on authenticity and self-expression, and it felt as if Ru was speaking directly to my soul. One quote he said resonated with me down to my very molecules: “Your soul is made of stars. Stars shine. It’s your life’s work to shine – you weren’t born to fit in; you were born to stand out.” These short three sentences were like a spell, as if Ru was giving me permission to be my radically authentic self. It didn’t happen overnight, but slowly I came out of my shell. These words set me on the path I’m on today – unraveling all that kept me trapped in my old life, and speaking truth to power about the harm of patriarchal religion and systems of government on young women and girls. Over the last three years, I’ve taken many small steps and big leaps toward my truest self. As my voice gets louder and more unwavering, I feel more certain that I’m on the right path.
Can you share a story from your journey that illustrates your resilience?
Artists and writers alike know what resilience is by the sheer amount of rejection we face on a daily basis. I learned this very early on in my writing career, and I’m still learning it. We get vulnerable and pour our hearts into our work, send it out into the ether, and hope some editor or gallery owner sees it and likes it and gives us a little corner of the world to show it to the people we want to see it. But for every “yes” we get, there are hundreds – if not thousands – of nos. Resilience is not just a process; it’s a practice. Whenever I get a rejection in my inbox from a pitch I spent hours carefully crafting, I let the sting hit me, and then I try again.
One of my biggest heroes is Joan Jett. When Joan was a kid, she asked her parents for a Silvertone electric guitar for Christmas. Being an exuberant kid, she figured she could learn everything in one day, so she went to a guitar teacher and said, “Teach me how to play rock n’ roll.” The teacher looked at her and laughed and said, “Girls don’t play rock and roll.” So Joan went home and sat in her room and listened Free, Deep Purple, T Rex and Black Sabbath and taught herself how to play. Then, she formed The Runaways with Cherie Currie, a band which became hugely successful in the seventies. When the band broke up, she formed Joan Jett and the Blackhearts, and despite her massive success and well-known name with The Runaways, twenty-three labels turned her Blackhearts demo down. Instead of backing down, she just formed her own label. Today, Joan Jett has one of the biggest legacies in rock n’ roll. Whenever I face rejection, I think about Joan and how she, to me, is the definition of resilience.
Contact Info:
- Website: sarahspurlock.com
- Instagram: sarahhhhchristine
- Other: reclaimingthenewsletter.substack.com sarahspurlock.substack.com
Image Credits
Jonathan Adjahoe (three professional shots), Aydra J Swan (photo on rock)