Alright – so today we’ve got the honor of introducing you to Sarah Shah. We think you’ll enjoy our conversation, we’ve shared it below.

Sarah, thanks for joining us, excited to have you contributing your stories and insights. What did your parents do right and how has that impacted you in your life and career?

Such a fitting question to start with – if it wasn’t for my parents’ and grandparents’ sacrifices, I would not have the opportunities and privileges I have today. My dad immigrated to the United States in 1989 to pursue a master’s in civil engineering from the University of Texas and my mom joined him four years later after they got married. This was the first of their many sacrifices – moving thousands of miles from their families and everything they knew to create a better life for themselves and their future children.

Both sets of my grandparents always pushed their respective children to value education, and my parents did the same for us. They’re the reason my siblings and I pursued higher education. My parents modeled the importance of helping those in need for us at an early age. Both my parents have volunteered their time and money to help refugees in our communities for as long as I can remember. This played a huge role in me and my two siblings pursuing helping professions and doing our best to give back to our communities when we can. I have enjoyed doing webinars and workshops for local mosques and Muslim organizations at the University of Texas on a variety of mental health topics to increase awareness and help break the stigma of seeking mental health support in the Muslim community.

My parents taught me the value of maintaining strong family relationships by calling their parents and siblings routinely and having us talk to them – sometimes before we had even met them in person. They took us to Pakistan as soon as they were able to. We spent some hot summers there that may have felt miserable at the time, but now I look back and think how beautiful it must have been for my parents to take us to their home country and meet their loved ones. I believe the value my parents put on familial relationships has impacted my specialties as a therapist. While I don’t push my clients to maintain or break any relationships in their lives, clients generally come to me when they are feeling stuck, unhappy or just looking to improve their relationships – especially with family members.

My parents also taught us about the importance of faith from a young age. They incorporated Islam into almost everything. But what I really value is that they allowed my siblings and I to question and challenge them. I noticed a lot of my Muslim friends’ parents would shut down their questions or even guilt them for questioning parts of Islam, while my parents entertained my questions and had dialogue around it. We wouldn’t always end up agreeing, but knowing I wouldn’t be outright punished for questioning them allowed me to be more open with them about different aspects of my life. I feel truly blessed to have parents that created an environment for open communication because I know they were not raised in a culture and society where this environment existed. This type of parenting has played a huge role in why I even went into the field of therapy – to help create spaces for individuals and couples to learn about and have open communication.

Great, appreciate you sharing that with us. Before we ask you to share more of your insights, can you take a moment to introduce yourself and how you got to where you are today to our readers

Of course! My name is Sarah Shah, pronounced Saar-ah Shaa. I’m a first generation Pakistani-American Muslim woman, born and raised in Texas. I’m the eldest daughter to my two immigrant parents and have a younger sister and brother. I currently live in the Austin area with my husband and our two cats, Momo and Suki.

I grew up in Garland, Texas, in a tight-knit Muslim community. I actually attended Islamic School until 8th grade. So as you can tell, being Muslim was at the forefront of my identities and painted a large portion of my worldview.

I believe there is a common misconception that being religious means you are conservative in your views which people often equate to being judgmental and close minded – because there really are some people like that. However, I remember challenging this idea a lot, especially with my parents as y’all read in my previous answer. A lot of my peers in the community, including myself at times, felt judged by their parents when they did anything “unIslamic”. I realized early on that this created a huge gap in understanding and communication between parents and children in my Muslim community. I also saw a lot of unhappy but committed marriages that really made me question if being in love with your spouse long term is even possible.

I actually didn’t know therapy existed until high school when a teacher happened to explain it in class. I learned more about it in a career counseling session in undergrad when I knew I wanted to major in psychology but wanted to steer away from pre-med and was unsure what to do. I learned that this career path was the answer to all the challenges I witnessed and experienced growing up. From there, I did research in undergrad in a positive psychology lab and a relationship lab. I also shadowed (as much as HIPPA allows) one of my psychology class professors at her private practice. The more I learned about therapy, the more I was drawn to it. 

After graduating from the University of Texas with a bachelor of arts in psychology, I began my masters in counseling at the University of North Texas. The program challenged everything I thought I knew about the field so far. I was pushed to do a lot of internal work in a way I had never had to before and face my own insecurities, which I learned would become a lifelong process. During the second and last year of my masters program I interned at a private practice and a domestic violence shelter, while also taking classes and planning my wedding. Upon graduating, I was burnt out and had the privilege of not working for four months.

My first job was in community mental health and it was after a short six months that I again felt completely burnt out and decided to quit. I had initially taken the job to get experience working in the setting since I had already worked in private practice and non profit. It was difficult to support clients in this setting due to the blatant lack of resources available. Knowing I wanted to have my own private practice some day, I decided to dive back into private practice work and started working at Austin Family Counseling (AFC). While this setting felt more supportive and I could see real change happening for my clients, I still had not figured out how to take care of myself effectively. Pairing that with a global pandemic, I felt burnt out once again.

When I finished my supervision hours in January 2022 (counselors need to complete 3,000 hours under a supervisor) and became independently licensed as a Licensed Professional Counselor (LPC), I thought I would jump right into starting my own practice like I had always dreamt of. I gave myself time to heal from burnout and lean on my support system. This looked like doing the prep work for starting my practice slowly, creating consultation groups outside of AFC so I have a consistent group of therapists to rely on for support, continuing to see my own therapist, and taking time off for vacations and rest. After those five months, I officially started my own practice on May 27, 2022.

Based on what you’ve read about me so far, it’s no surprise that I specialize in helping Muslims, South Asians, and first-generation adults and couples heal from intergenerational trauma, learn healthy communication skills and boundary setting, unlearn negative self-talk and learn self compassion. I’m a teletherapist which allows me to work with clients across the state of Texas from the comfort of their own space.

I believe every therapist’s unique background and story is what sets each of them apart from each other, myself included. I believe the client-therapist relationship is the most important for change, meaning if we don’t vibe, you probably won’t benefit from our work together. I’m grateful for the privilege to work with clients at some of the lowest points of their lives while being let into their unique story and worldview.

Learning and unlearning are both critical parts of growth – can you share a story of a time when you had to unlearn a lesson?

So true! I believe learning and unlearning are lifelong processes. The biggest lesson I am currently unlearning is that it is not my job to take care of everyone. Growing up as the eldest daughter in my Pakistani-American family, I was inevitably put in a caretaker role for most of my life. I also saw a majority of the women in my life take this role on as well. I define caretaking in this context as taking care of the needs of others at the expense of my own needs and well-being.

This role was really challenging for me once I got married and was now balancing a career as a helper, my marriage, being a daughter, sister, friend, daughter-in-law, and sister-in-law. I had never had to balance so many roles in my life, and I inevitably got burnt out many times and even developed an autoimmune condition. My body was literally screaming at me, “SLOW DOWN!”

The way I have been unlearning caretaking is through my own therapy, practicing boundary setting in my relationships, and taking the time to fill my own cup before pouring into others. I started by making a mental note of spaces, individuals, and activities that give me energy and those that take away my energy. In identifying these two lists, I was able to figure out where I am needing to set boundaries. 

Inevitably, there are times I am unable to completely get out of situations that take away my energy. However, knowing that I may leave that situation feeling depleted, I can do more prep beforehand to protect my energy. This looks like: communicating any needs or anxieties I may be feeling to my husband (asking others for support is also something I’m leaning in to in an effort toward my unlearning of caretaking), making lists of what I have control over/don’t, and allowing myself to take space when needed.

Other than training/knowledge, what do you think is most helpful for succeeding in your field?

Consistent and constant work on yourself. You can’t help people increase their self-awareness, heal their inner child, feel connected and have their needs met in their relationships if you aren’t doing that work on yourself as well. With that being said, I’ll be the first to admit that I’m in no way perfect nor do I have all these things figured out. I have been putting in that consistent and constant work through therapy for years now and plan to continue so I can show up for myself, my family and friends, and clients.

Contact Info:

• Website: www.sarahshahlpc.com
• Instagram: www.instagram.com/sarahshahlpc
• Facebook: www.facebook.com/sarahshahlpc
• Linkedin: www.linkedin.com/in/shahsarahm

Image Credits
Headshot – Nidi Nizam Photography Wedding picture – Rizwan Ghumro Studios