Alright – so today we’ve got the honor of introducing you to Sarah Curnoles. We think you’ll enjoy our conversation, we’ve shared it below.

Alright, Sarah thanks for taking the time to share your stories and insights with us today. To kick things off, we’d love to hear about things you or your brand do that diverge from the industry standard

As a breakup coach, I’m frustrated by all the bad advice out there. Advice like “just go no contact” doesn’t work for parents sharing custody of their kids. “Time heals all wounds” couldn’t be more misleading. I approach healing breakups holistically. Healing from a breakup or divorce has to include healing the heart, mind, body, and spirit. I recently worked with a client who was upset by how much anger they felt towards their ex. They had just been through their first meeting with the lawyers and financial planner. He wanted to be able to control his anger. We talked about why this event was bringing up anger and explored that feeling. And then I taught him my process for how to move anger so it doesn’t get trapped and stuck in your body. My process is a safe way to feel the emotion without scaring others, which was important to my client because they are a parent. We went through my process and afterwards they expressed how much freer they felt and how much clarity they had.

Sarah, love having you share your insights with us. Before we ask you more questions, maybe you can take a moment to introduce yourself to our readers who might have missed our earlier conversations?

I hired my first life coach after a breakup. I thought there was something wrong with me because I was in my thirties and single yet again. Hiring my first coach was my first introduction to the idea that nothing was wrong with me, but my thinking was causing a lot of trouble. I decided to pursue this myself so I could help others create change in their own lives. I decided to get my life coach certification through Martha Beck’s Wayfinder program. My coaching program has evolved while I worked for a professional theater in my hometown of Baltimore, Maryland and while I continued to date in hopes of finding the love of my life. I thought I found the life I always wanted and moved in with my boyfriend. But that all came crashing down when our relationship ended and I was heartbroken. I decided to use my coaching skills on myself to heal my heart and move on. I found myself feeling healthier and stronger than I ever had. I realized people needed more skills to help with a difficult time, and that’s how I started as a Breakup Coach.

Are there any books, videos, essays or other resources that have significantly impacted your management and entrepreneurial thinking and philosophy?

My life changed when I started learning about money. I have worked for nonprofit professional theaters most of my life and going from the nonprofit employee mindset to the entrepreneurial mindset was a big jump. I severely underestimated that when I started my business. I thought it would be easy. I thought I would just put up a website, tell a few friends, and everyone would come running to work with me. It was not that easy and I didn’t know what I was doing wrong. I read You Are a Badass at Making Money by Jen Sincero and The Science of Getting Rich by Wallace Waddles and realized I didn’t understand money. I was underpricing myself and people weren’t valuing my work. I wasn’t valuing the transformation I provided. I wasn’t communicating the value of coaching so people didn’t understand what they were buying. Once I started investing in my money mindset, I understood that I was thinking of money in ways that were keeping me broke. And if I could shift my mindset and expect wealth and resources, things can shift quickly. I also realized it was so similar to the stories we tell ourselves about love. If we can stop focusing on the limitations and negative stories, we can start having more fun on dates and find love faster.

We’d love to hear a story of resilience from your journey.

I’ve made every mistake in the book with dating. It’s what makes me a great coach for dating and breakups. Because I’ve seen it all and made all the mistakes. I’ve never lost hope. My worst breakup was with someone I dated off and on for three years. I thought we were finally in a solid place with our relationship and I was really happy. Until a friend called to tell me he had been cheating on me with a mutual friend. I learned he had not only been cheating on me but he had also been hiding a problem with drugs and alcohol. Saying I was devastated didn’t cover it. I thought I knew this person inside and out, and I thought we were building a relationship together. I sank into a deep depression. I even begged him to date me again and we could solve these issues together. He said no and that he wanted to work on himself and didn’t want to cause me more pain. I had never felt so low. I hadn’t discovered life coaching yet, so all I could do was listen to audiobooks and go on long walks. I slowly pieced my life back together by staying really busy and throwing myself back into dating as quickly as I could. But the anger and resentment festered inside of me. Even when I thought I had moved on and healed myself, it still boiled deep under the surface. When we eventually had to work together, I grinned and pretended like nothing was wrong. But there was so much tension. He eventually made the first move and wrote and email to make amends. I had turned him down in the past when he made attempts to apologize. I thought I didn’t need it. But he sent the email anyway. And I fell apart. I dropped my mask that everything was ok and told him how deeply he hurt me and how angry I was. And after spending two days as an emotional wreck and debriefing with my therapist, I realized I finally felt clear. Everything I had been carrying around was released. Telling the truth about how I felt finally set me free. I’ve been his supervisor at the theater for several projects now, and we healed our relationship so we have a successful working partnership. I never thought we would get there. But I feel much more available and hopeful for calling in love now that I am not carrying around all that resentment.

Contact Info:

• Website: https://www.sarahcurnoles.com
• Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/sarahcurnoles/
• Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/sarahmcurnoles/
• Linkedin: https://www.linkedin.com/in/sarah-curnoles-1a315817/