We were lucky to catch up with Sara Torpey recently and have shared our conversation below.
Hi Sara , thanks for joining us today. One of the things we most admire about small businesses is their ability to diverge from the corporate/industry standard. Is there something that you or your brand do that differs from the industry standard? We’d love to hear about it as well as any stories you might have that illustrate how or why this difference matters.
One of the things that was really difficult for me (and is difficult for so many small business owners) early in business was sales and selling. I struggled with asking for money, with talking about myself, with feeling like I was trying to talk people into what I had to offer as a coach and and a teacher when all I really wanted to do – all I’ve ever wanted to do – was be useful to them, and be of help.
In order to get more comfortable with sales, I joined courses, I worked with coaches, I read books… and what I found over and over was that the advice was so often really about me putting myself and my business first rather than helping others first, which just didn’t sit right for me. I knew that in order for me – a former teacher, still a teacher at heart – to be successful, I would have to find a way that more effectively blended helping and selling.
About two years into business I made a conscious decision that I would just HELP first, I would be USEFUL first, and I would let the rest figure itself out. I made a decision to NOT shy away from talking about what I had to offer but instead of feeling like I had to talk people into it, I focused on feeling like I was inviting them to a fabulous party that I was hosting (and if they wanted to join, super; if not, no big deal!). I decided to GIVE first – and found that it worked.
Over time, I decided to actively teach my clients (and people in my world – in my FB group, on my email list, through my podcast, etc.) about how to sell by GIVING because it feels like such a more accessible way to approach business and success for business owners who are people-first, service-first human beings. So many of my people are former teachers, like me, and others are artists, creators, and helpers in a whole range of formats and this style of selling where the focus is on the people they helping but also on not being shy about inviting people to work with them has also been effective for them.
Today I get to help other people feel like successful sales people without also feeling bad about selling – they don’t feel salesy, weird, or uncomfortable all the time. I get to help people KNOW that what they have to offer is valuable (and price their services accordingly, which is HUGE for teachers, artists, and helpers who tend to underprice themselves!) and share what they have with the world, simply, easily and with confidence. The traditional sales models, the traditional sales process, and the traditional sales style where it’s about the money, the close, and the sales person no longer need apply when we have access to selling by GIVING!
Great, appreciate you sharing that with us. Before we ask you to share more of your insights, can you take a moment to introduce yourself and how you got to where you are today to our readers.
I’m Sara :) I’m a business coach, former (math!) teacher, solopreneur, mom, and expert simplifyer. My jam is helping teachers, helpers, and givers like you simplify business success.
I started my career as a classroom teacher, and then moved into coaching teachers in their classrooms at both the middle school and elementary school levels. After 10 years in public education, my husband was transferred for work to where we are now in Pennsylvania. At the time I planned to go back into a classroom role (because I had really never even thought about being anything but a teacher!) and ended up in a corporate role – long story :) – for an education company. I worked with the sales team, with the PD team, the tech team and all of the internal leaders to help sell the company’s resources to schools and libraires around the country for 7 years.
Eventually, I felt like I was too far from teaching. I left my corporate role in 2016 and went back to a classroom – this time at the college level, teaching math to undergrads at a few local colleges here in PA, and also started my first business around this time. ExSTEMsions was born out of seeing families feel like middle school math was both boring and inaccessible to them – we out-of-the-box build math, critical thinking, and problem solving sets that teachers and families to use to make math interesting again.
In working to grow exSTEMsions, I learned a lot about how to (and how not to…) grow a new business. Over time I had started helping friends and friends of friends with starting their own businesses as I was growing mine… and that turned into the business coaching practice that is now my full-time role.
At Torpey Coaching I work with people-first, service-first business owners, many of whom are former teachers, like me, to uncomplicate success. I offer 1:1 coaching, small group coaching, and a course called Selling by Giving. Clients come to me because they want to grow their businesses AND also have a life. They come to me because they KNOW they can help people but it feels really hard (and scary) to show up out in the world as an expert, to ask people to pay them (and figure out how much to ask for!), and to generally figure out how to DO business without making it all so hard. I help clients learn to do business AS THEMSELVES, to grow in ways that feel good to them and really focus on what matters in their worlds (maybe that’s flexibility, maybe it’s time to travel, maybe it’s making more money so that they can GIVE more money away…).
I think what sets me apart from other coaches is that I, like my clients, truly am a people-first business owner. If I’m not the right fit for the client, I’ll say so. If we need to adjust course, we do. For me coaching is about making sure the client – the HUMAN – in front of me gets exactly what they need, when they need it. I’m an expert question asker, and am told time and time again that I’m just easy to talk with – I love listening to people, I love their stories, and I LOVE being able to be of support as people grow into who they’re meant to become out in the world (I loved this as a teacher too – it’s not any different now!). I see coaching as the best, most flexible, most collaborative form of teaching, and I know that being coached makes a huge difference.
I’m proud that I’m out in the world as a support for people who want or need me. I’m proud to be a model of what’s possible for teachers who want to be entrepreneurs, for people who have kids and things and busy lives but also want to serve others AND sleep, and I’m proud to have literally built something from nothing. I’ve gone from $0 as a coach in 2019 to way more than I ever made as a teacher in 2023 and I have earned that money by HELPING people, giving freely, and showing up as myself – there’s nothing better!
Any advice for growing your clientele? What’s been most effective for you?
I have a business colleague who started as an accountability buddy early in my coaching business, and she tells people (laughingly) that I have a four-word business plan, and that my four-word business plan has been entirely my path to success. And really, she’s not entirely wrong.
My four-word business plan – still today, and for the last four years – has always been ‘talk to more people.’ For me, early on, I realized that the way I wanted to grow my business was through connecting with other human beings – ACTUALLY connecting. And because of this, each year I set a goal for 1:1 connections with ‘new to me’ people. In 2020 the number was 200 – and I hit somewhere around 115, entirely online. In 2021 my goal was 150, and I met just over 100, again, almost entirely online. As the years have gone on – and I’ve really extended my network and also grown my business – I’ve lowered the goal numbers a little (in 2023 the number is 125) but the intent is the same – to meet more people, and just connect, as a human being.
I think the ‘as a human being’ part is key to this strategy because I don’t show up to a connection call or a conference or a networking meeting to sell. I show up to meet people, and learn about them as humans. We talk about kids, and sports, and food, and travels, and things we love – and also business, but not always. This human-first approach means that I don’t have to stress about selling, that I really get to listen and ask good questions, and that neither of us are stressed by the process of connection. And these connections create business – sometimes right away, on that first call, and (more often) over time through referrals, or even just growing relationship over time. I recently had a long time connection reach out to become a client – and she and I ‘met’ for the first time online in early 2021. We’ve stayed in touch through LinkedIn and my Facebook group, I know what she’s up to and she knows what I’m up to, and when she found she was in a place where she needed more help, recently, she thought of me. And that’s exactly how I want my business to work.
What’s a lesson you had to unlearn and what’s the backstory?
One of the things I’ve had to unlearn in business (and life) is about the role of pressure in success. I think we’re taught (I know we’re taught, really) that the way to success is putting pressure on ourselves to do, to move forward, to keep going, to ‘push through’. We’re taught that when we apply enough pressure to ourselves that that’s how we grow – and without it, we’ll just sit on the couch and watch Netflix.
In 2020 I had to start to unlearn this because my body forced me to. In May of 2020, within the pressure of the pandemic and with kids ‘in school’ at home, while I was growing businesses and teaching college students (which had been partly in person), I developed vertigo that lasted for almost 3 months. In talking with doctors and PT, it turned out that this reaction was in part related to migraines (which I didn’t even really understand I had, it was just a headache that lasted a long time, or at least that was how I’d thought about it), and entirely a reaction to stress and pressure.
2020 began an ongoing relationship between me and vertigo, which now comes and goes – particularly in times of added stress or pressure. And as a result, I’ve really had a to reimagine my relationship to putting pressure on myself to do and be and go.
Today when I look back at the end of 2020 and 2021 I think of it as the year that I learned to be nice to myself. I started pausing when I was feeling pressed and asking myself if the pressure was necessary – it wasn’t. I started actually checking in with myself, asking ‘what do I actually NEED right now?’ and then listening to the answer. I subtracted things from my business that caused more drama than growth, And no, I didn’t get rid of all of my stress – not even close. Pressure to do hasn’t disappeared – but I’m much less likely to be the cause of it. Now, pressure might come from a deadline that someone else set, from the calendar, or from someone else (all of which I’ve worked to think about differently), but the pressure doesn’t come from the inside out. I’m not perfect, but I’m also not mean to myself about being IMperftect. I’m no longer someone that piles guilt on for all of the things not done – rather I think a ton about what I HAVE accomplished, and put my energy towards kindness, allowance, and celebration.
It’s made a world of difference.
Contact Info:
- Website: www.torpeycoaching.com
- Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/saractorpey/
- Linkedin: https://www.linkedin.com/in/saratorpey/
- Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCQI-lz0GUReXTYdIK9kVOQg
- Other: Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/uncomplicatingbusiness TikTok: @uncomplicatesuccesswsara