We’re excited to introduce you to the always interesting and insightful Sandi Ballard. We hope you’ll enjoy our conversation with Sandi below.
Sandi, appreciate you joining us today. Everyone has crazy stuff happen to them, but often small business owners and creatives, artists and others who are doing something off the beaten path are hit with things (positive or negative) that are so out there, so unpredictable and unexpected. Can you share a crazy story from your journey?
Well, one of the craziest things that happened to me during a coaching session was a wife asking for a divorce from her husband in the middle of the session! And their son was in the session as well!
YEP! Here’s how it all went down.
I started working with an HVAC company that was husband and wife owned. They wanted to begin the process of succession planning over the next three to five years. [I’m thinking, “SWEET! A long-term client!”]
My main role was to help strengthen the management team and the bond between management and staff. As well as eliminate the perception that the owners were just “giving” their son the business. There were some people that weren’t convinced he was qualified. Not everyone know that he’d been working there for 16 years!
I was meeting with husband and wife twice a month, sometimes including the son in the meetings. We were discussing budget who the son’s team would be, who was there for the long-haul and who they felt may be retiring before the transition happened. A lot of figuring out who they really trusted.
I met individually with the leadership, as well as some staff to start building the trust, getting their opinion on the son, the owners, leadership, and basically how they felt about the current status, and future of the company.
After one coaching session, the wife asked me to go to lunch with her. She told me about a few things that were going on, and the tension between her and her husband, but nothing about her wanting to leave him! She said she was excited about us working together and admitted she was ready to NOT run the day-to-day operations. We also discussed a little bit about her husband and sons’ relationship, which was good insight to help them during the transition.
During individual sessions with the son and then with another manager, they each told me separately how mom likes to micro-manage things and “stir the pot”. She seemed to like drama. But that still didn’t have me suspecting anything other than she was ready to transition out.
I’ve worked with micromanagers before, and I can handle someone who is a little bit of a drama queen. That information helped a great deal, as I started seeing patterns with her behavior and the reactions from her husband. The son would literally just look down and shake his head. I started challenging her to let go, just let things happen, be quiet and STOP trying to control everything.
Over the next few months, we started working on longer-term goals and a bigger picture of the transition, giving the son more responsibilities. This was helping him learn more about the ownership-side and build that trust with the staff.
Things seemed to be going well.
During one session with all three, when we were really digging into how the company had been run for the past 35+ years, and who the son did and did not feel would be good mentors to him or a good part of the future culture.
I was giving them feedback as to what some of the staff thought and felt about current managers and the future transition. Their son was sharing how he was doing with his new responsibilities. There was a little bit of banter between the husband and wife. I was allowing them to have the conversation and then, then it happened…
The wife turned to me and made a very aggressive comment about her husband and said “See this is how he always reacts!” And then she turned to the husband and says “I want out! I want a divorce!”
My mouth dropped open. I looked at their son. He popped his head up from doodling [as he was attempting to let them finish their argument] and had a shocked look on his face. I looked at the wife and then the husband and said, “Perhaps you should try therapy versus a divorce!”
The son said, “If this is succession planning, this sucks!” And then walked out.
I asked a few other questions and suggested they give this some time, but yes this was out of my territory. This was for a therapist, not a coach.
When I walked out, I met my fiancé, and must have had a shocked look on my face because he asked, “What the hell happened?” Obviously, I couldn’t give him all the details due to confidentiality, but replied, “That this was literally the most shocking and strangest coaching session I’ve ever had, and… I need a vodka!”
That following week, the husband reached out to me and asked to have a private coaching session with just him. We met at my office, and he mentioned he had talked with a therapist and thanked me for suggesting that. He was very emotional and apologized to me and said he was shocked as well, and that we would continue to work together as he and his wife will hopefully work everything out. And if not, the transition may need to move faster.
I then spoke with the wife, and she wanted me to continue to connect with the staff in case they had started hearing some rumors.
The following week, I was blind-sided again! I received a call from the husband, and I was like, “Hey how are things going?” He started yelling at me, telling me this is all MY fault! And that he overheard his wife telling someone that, “Sandi helped me have the balls to say what I’ve wanted to say for 10 years!”
And then he informed me that he is no longer going to use my services.
WOW! How did “I” cause this? Of course, as many people may do, I started reflecting on conversations, especially when she and I were at lunch. Did I say something that suggested she leave? What did I do? I did my job, that’s what I did!
A few days later, I had a conversation with the wife, and she told me that I had given her the strength she needed to end something that had been bad for a long time. She appreciated me and wished it had gone differently. She said their son wanted to continue to work with me but give him some time.
Unfortunately, I never got any of them to talk with me after that. Not even the son.
About five years later, someone who knew I had worked with them, and knew the family, as they were very strong in the community – asked me about working with them. I said how it ended abruptly and she then informed me that the husband had been cheating on his wife and when she found out, she felt comfortable and confident enough to speak up. We had the succession plan starting, and although it wasn’t complete, the plan was in place, and she felt that was enough for their son to take over the company.
Yes, there were MUCH better ways that she could have handled it. Obviously, it was an interesting very shocking coaching session! Something I did not foresee happening. And yes, it bothered me for a long time!
Since then, I’ve told the story a few times, and get the same shocked reaction! And to this day I’ve not worked with any business-owner couples! But I certainly would and feel I am more equipped to ask stronger questions upfront!
Sandi, love having you share your insights with us. Before we ask you more questions, maybe you can take a moment to introduce yourself to our readers who might have missed our earlier conversations?
After almost fifteen years of owning my own marketing and design business, I transitioned to becoming a small Chamber of Commerce director. I honestly thought that was my “dream role”. I hated to call it a “j-o-b” as it was a great opportunity to meet business owners help them in many ways. I became well known in the community, and learned so much more about business ownership and the challenges that the members were facing.
This led me to attend a women’s-only networking event to support a colleague of mine.
While I was listening to their stories of how they got to where they are, I started making notes. I was having my own sort of “mid-life-crisis”! I made lists of what I liked to do, didn’t like, what I’ve done, always wanted to do, and the biggie, what I’ve heard people say they like about me and what I’m good at! While I was reviewing my own notes, wondering what this all meant for my future, the idea of being a coach popped into my head! I called my mentor, and she replied, “It’s about time you figured it out!” She gave me the name of the coaching school I should contact to get my certification, and the rest is history!
Now, over ten years as a coach, I absolutely LOVE what I do! I get to connect with and help people grow personally and professionally! I like to say, “I help people take a step back and look at their businesses from the outside-in”. It helps them look and see what’s working and what’s not working, where there might be gaps and breakdowns, as well as the successes!
Although I don’t consider myself a life coach, I do know that life gets in the way of business and vice versa, so we do discuss both in every coaching session I want to make sure there’s alignment between the two. And if you are off in one area, it will affect the other. I believe balance is bullshit. That’s why I prefer to call it: Alignment.
One thing that I’ve heard people say well, it’s usually to my face for years, that I am one of the most adaptable and authentic people they’ve ever met! The tagline “Badass Business Coach” actually came from a client who said to me, “Sandi, you helped me find my badassness! You should refer to yourself as The Badass Business Coach!” As more and more people started referring to me as that, I got it trademarked, and now there really can only be one Badass Business Coach®!
I’m also a DiSC® certified business coach. DiSC® is technically a personality assessment, however, I like to refer to it as a communication tool. I use it with all my clients, and it’s really a useful tool to help people learn to communicate more effectively.
As a four-time published author, I’ve been lucky enough to have spoken all over the United States at local, regional and national conferences, as well as facilitated hundreds of teambuilding workshops.
Although as your coach, I will be your biggest cheerleader, however, I tend to be a little more direct and won’t let you get away with much. I believe there are legitimate reasons, but there are a lot of bullshit excuses out there that people use to not get where they want to go.
I’m proud of a lot of things with my business myself, but mostly my clients. I am proud of myself for taking the look in word, and realizing my true calling. And I’m proud of my clients who have put forth the effort and not given up. Yes, I have had clients I have fired, who has quit their business, and who have done a lot of stupid shit to fuck up their life. The business ownership is not for everyone! One of my other phrases is “Business ownership is hard work, but it doesn’t have to suck!” And that’s where I come in to help you!
One of the phrases or tag lines I’d like to use is “I help people realize their own BADASSNESS, so they will Do more, BE more and ACHIEVE MORE!” I had a woman say I don’t wanna be “badass”, I want results. I said that’s what you get when you find it! (She never hired me and that’s OK!)
We often hear about learning lessons – but just as important is unlearning lessons. Have you ever had to unlearn a lesson?
Although this may seem a little self-serving, or sales-y, the biggest lesson I had to learn, was what I wrote about in my first book, “From There to Here!” As I was facing my own midlife crisis, and listening to all those women at the networking event, share their stories of how they got to where they were, I realized I was no different.
I “said” I was going to do a lot of things in my life, especially after my daughter went off to college. And somehow my friends remembered and called me on it! The problem is I had no plan. I hadn’t done the research. I had done nothing to take steps toward, what I considered was a goal. It WAN’T a goal! The quote says “A goal without a plan is just a wish!”
And that’s just what I had, WISHED I was going to do things! So I had to eat my words!
And I suppose that’s why I wrote that first book to show people: It’s OK to start over. It’s OK to not have your shit together. It’s OK to admit you didn’t have a plan, especially in public form!
As long as you then, do what you need to do:
1. Set the goals.
2. Create the plan and
3. Take fucking action!
Are there any books, videos or other content that you feel have meaningfully impacted your thinking?
The two books that shifted my mindset and really got me excited about thinking differently.
1. Simon Sinek’s “Start with Why”.
2. And at the time there was this “new guy” I had just heard of, that I liked how much he cussed lol had some great insight on social media and building your brand. His name is Gary Vaynerchuk. He goes by Gary Vee. The book I read was called “Crushing It”. I think this book is really what helped me on my brand and the tagline The Badass Business Coach, so when I transitioned from Indianapolis to California, although I’ve never really been afraid to own a room, but knowing that I waas new in town, I knew I had to walk into the room and OWN IT!
I used that tagline, and use it confidently!. That tagline, along with the confidence is what has helped me build my brand and my reputation and has gotten me where I am today.
Contact Info:
- Website: https://badassbusiness.coach/home
- Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/thebadassbusinesscoach
- Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/BadassBusinessCoach
- Linkedin: https://www.linkedin.com/in/sandi-ballard-2607723/
- Twitter: https://twitter.com/Badass_BizCoach
- Youtube: https://tinyurl.com/BadassBizCoachYouTube
- Other: TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@badassbizcoach
Image Credits
Christine Andert, The Picture Lady 623-252-FOTO (3686) [email protected] www.Picture-Lady.com