We were lucky to catch up with Samantha Villalobos recently and have shared our conversation below.

Samantha, looking forward to hearing all of your stories today. What’s the best advice you ever gave to a client? How did they benefit / what was the result? (Please note this response is for education/entertainment purposes only and shouldn’t be construed as advice for the reader)

I think the best advice I give to my clients is to talk to themselves as though they are talking to a friend or a loved one. Most of the time we are much harder and meaner to ourselves in our self-talk than we would be to someone else. This is true for many of my clients. It’s true even for myself. I usually ask my clients if they would tell their friends the same messages they are currently telling themselves. One hundred percent of the time, the answer is no. Too many people struggle with self-love and acceptance. Speaking to yourself kindly is a small but important start in the journey of wholly loving and accepting yourself.

For the clients that take this advice and practice it, it has been transformative. One particular client that I have, used to really struggle with negative self-talk to the point of emotionally beating himself so badly, that he would become suicidal. It took lots of trial and error, practice, consistency, and reminding him that just because he doesn’t believe the positive reframes he is telling himself, doesn’t mean it isn’t true and that someday, it won’t be as much work to be kinder to himself.
We’ve been working together for about 2 years now and he treats himself completely different. He gives himself more grace, understanding, and kindness and has said that it surprises him how it feels more natural to do so now. Of course, we’ve worked on other issues that have contributed to his negative self-view, but the first step was to talk more kindly to himself.

Awesome – so before we get into the rest of our questions, can you briefly introduce yourself to our readers.

I’m a Marriage and Family Therapist. I currently work in private practice, where I work with kids, adults, couples and families. I am especially experienced in working with people with trauma, depression, anxiety, ADHD and those in the LGBTQ community. I have an eclectic approach to therapy. I don’t align with just one approach because I believe everyone is different and different things work for different people. That being said, I’m largely Person Centered in my approach, but I do use a lot of Cognitive Behavioral Therapy, Attachment Therapy, Dialectical Behavior Therapy, and Trauma Informed Care, amongst others.
I was interested in pursuing a career as a therapist because of my own struggle with mental health. I did not have the opportunity growing up to have access to mental health that would have drastically changed my livelihood if I did. I am grateful now for the lessons I’ve learned through my own struggles, but I wanted to be a source of support so that others do not have to struggle alone, as I did for a long time.

Other than training/knowledge, what do you think is most helpful for succeeding in your field?

I think that empathy is one of the most important things someone needs in order to be a good therapist. You can be super knowledgeable and experienced, but if you lack empathy, you lose the ability to connect. Connection is one of the key healing factors in therapy. So without empathy and the ability to connect with others in that way, therapy isn’t as effective.

What do you think helped you build your reputation within your market?

I think that while my experience helps attracting clients to me, it’s my validating and honest approach that keeps them. I try to meet each client where they are at, without judgement or expectation. I practice inclusivity and understanding and I believe it shows. I do offer good insights and tools because of my experience, but I feel that my approach in which I’m not the “expert” but a helpful guide, makes it easier for clients to feel comfortable and vulnerable enough to hear what I’m saying. I’ve received a few clients via word of mouth from previous clients. To me, that’s the greatest compliment.

Contact Info:

• Website: https://www.soultenders.com/therapists/samantha-villalobos/
• Linkedin: https://www.linkedin.com/in/samantha-villalobos-b13b8358/