We recently connected with Samantha Ricard and have shared our conversation below.

Samantha, thanks for joining us, excited to have you contributing your stories and insights. Can you share a story with us from back when you were an intern or apprentice? Maybe it’s a story that illustrates an important lesson you learned or maybe it’s a just a story that makes you laugh (or cry)?

When I started as a student therapist almost a decade ago, I was equally anxious and headstrong. I had very little idea of what I was doing, but I knew I wanted to do it right, and I also felt a strong desire to be right. What this typically translated to was me telling clients what to do without really giving them the opportunity to share their story. Despite many of my supervisors trying to drill that approach out of me, I was certain I still had the right answers, and I was also certain that if clients did exactly what I told them to do then their problems would be fixed. Spoiler alert – that’s not how therapy works!

One of my very first clients started therapy because they were struggling with the transition into college, being away from home and their support group, and feeling lonely and out of place. I quickly got to work on giving them all of the behavioral tools to change their experience, yet nothing seemed to work. I finally, at the end of my incredibly small tool box, had a session where I just listened to them. I had nothing else to offer. Much to my surprise, that session was transformational for both of us. They began to share their incredibly rich inner world with me – one that they had never felt comfortable verbalizing to anyone before. We shifted our sessions to creating a space for them to explore and process their own experiences. I stopped making suggestions and started asking questions. After months of therapy, they were finally starting to feel better.

It was with that client that I realized the depth of Carl Jung’s quote, “Know all the theories, master all the techniques, but as you touch a human soul be just another human soul.” This person didn’t need me to fix them. In fact, there aren’t any clients that need to be “fixed.” While there is definitely a time and place for tools and suggestions, I am forever grateful that this client allowed me to learn one of my most important lessons as a therapist that early on. They gave me a beautiful opportunity to experience the healing power of just witnessing another person’s life, and I absolutely would not be the therapist I am today without that client.

Great, appreciate you sharing that with us. Before we ask you to share more of your insights, can you take a moment to introduce yourself and how you got to where you are today to our readers.

I always knew I wanted to be a person who helped people. When I was a kid, I loved being able to support my friends and give them advice when they were struggling. In high school I spent time volunteering for Big Brother Big Sister. While my role was to be a mentor that helped with homework and supported kids in creating social connections, I found that fostering relationships with them was my favorite part. This, combined with a few introductory psychology classes in my first year of college, confirmed my desire to continue on the therapy path. There were also some major shifts happening in my personal life at the time so I sought out my own therapy to find ways to cope.

Half way through college I discovered marriage and family therapy programs which would allow me to do therapy with individuals, couples, and families. I knew how the changes in my family and my personal life were impacting me and I figured that there were other people out there experiencing that as well. I was accepted into graduate school and completed my master’s degree three years later. I’ve been doing therapy in the “real world” ever since!

I started my private practice almost four years ago after having worked at a group practice for three years. Owning my own private practice was never the plan, but I have enjoyed the freedom it has given me and the opportunities I have had to work with clients. With that, I think there are a couple of things that set me apart from other therapists. The first being my own journey with anxiety. Experiencing it myself allows me to connect with clients who are also struggling with anxiety in ways that other therapists may not be able to. I have the ability to take a “birds eye view” as well as get into the trenches with them when their anxiety is really taking over. I’m not so far removed that I forget what it feels like, which is why I enjoy specializing in helping people find their own ways of dealing with anxiety. The second thing that sets me apart is my experience and training in working with LGBTQ+ clients, and specifically queer couples. It seems that so many LGBTQ+ clients are forced to work with therapists who aren’t adequately trained to work with them, resulting in a great deal of hurt and isolation. I’m most proud of being able to provide unique support to both clients struggling with anxiety and LGBTQ+ clients because of my own personal experiences and the depth of training I have received.

If you could go back in time, do you think you would have chosen a different profession or specialty?

Absolutely, without a doubt, yes!

One of my biggest fears in graduate school was that I would graduate, find a job, be a therapist for a while, and realize that I either hated it or I was not cut out for it. Burnout and imposter syndrome are two very real experiences in the therapy field, so I knew the chances of leaving were high. What I didn’t expect was getting into the “real world” after graduating and falling even more in love with the work. I truly have the coolest and most rewarding job in the world. I’m grateful every day for the clients who choose to work with me and who trust me with their stories. Witnessing the resilience and growth that humans are capable of is a deeply rewarding experience, and I hope that I’m able to continue being a part of that as a therapist for the rest of my career.

Other than training/knowledge, what do you think is most helpful for succeeding in your field?

There are two things that come to mind. The first is that not every therapist is going to be a great fit for every client. There are so many different modalities, tools, and personalities that therapists hold, and so many different experiences, needs, and personalities that clients bring. I have always said the most important part of the therapeutic relationship is a client finding a therapist that they feel comfortable working with. If there isn’t comfort and safety, it’s incredibly difficult for clients to get anything beneficial from the process. Once I fully accepted this, I let go of the shame and frustration that I couldn’t help everyone and started to really hone in on the clientele that I felt I could be a good fit for. That has made my job much easier and enjoyable, and I believe it has also saved a lot of clients’ time because I can give referrals for other therapists who are going to be a better fit for their needs.

The second is the importance of self-care. It took me far too long to realize that if I’m not taking care of myself, I can’t show up for my clients in the way they deserve. This looks different for different people. For me, it’s knowing what my limits are with the number of clients I can see in a day or week, making sure I’m prioritizing sleep, movement, and socialization, and giving myself permission to be lazy. My clients deserve the best me, and I am the only one responsible for making myself a priority.

Contact Info:

• Website: https://www.ricardcounseling.com/
• Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/SamanthaRicardCounseling/

Image Credits

Rachel Cox – Lumen Creative Co.