We were lucky to catch up with Samantha Martin recently and have shared our conversation below.
Samantha, appreciate you joining us today. What was the most important lesson/experience you had in a job that has helped you in your professional career?
Working as an attorney is what led me to starting a nonprofit organization focused on gender expression. My first job out of law school I was told to dress less feminine to be taken more seriously. This experience was followed up with misogynistic interviews for new jobs (because I, of course, quit that one), “funny” comments from male mentors, and a constant doubt in my abilities from any potential employers.
I started to research this idea that less feminine meant more capable, and I found decades of research on the topic. I started paying attention to my professional colleagues and noticed that at women-in-law events, the lawyers dressed in color, make-up, cleavage; they were there dressed how they wanted to be, free from judgement or sexualization.
At co-ed events, women dressed more “professional” AKA masculine. The color was gone, the make-up was relaxed, and cleavage was hidden beneath high neck blouses with blazers.
But if women dress feminine for men, why did they feel the most comfortable expressing that side with other women?
Because femininity is an expression of self, one that has been tied to men because of the regulated version attached to the patriarchy, but it absolutely was not created for men nor does it exist for their gaze.
Samantha, love having you share your insights with us. Before we ask you more questions, maybe you can take a moment to introduce yourself to our readers who might have missed our earlier conversations?
The FEMISH Organization shares research and education on gender-policing and femmephobia, and how they limit feminism and perpetuate the patriarchy. Femmephobia is the devaluation and regulation of femininity, which places limits on who can be feminine and how (Dr. Rhea Ashley Hoskin).
After experiencing bias as an attorney, I researched this idea that feminine means less capable, less competent, and found decades of research that shows this issue is not only real, it does not matter who is expressing femininity. All people, no matter gender identity or sexual orientation, experience society regulating how they express femininity, in addition to the internalized bias that causes us to regulate ourselves.
For example, we feminize men in power to mock them, as if being more “girly” makes them less of man and therefore less of a leader. We assume feminine men are gay, and feminine women are straight, as if femininity exists for male consumption. As children, it is more acceptable for young girls to play “boy” activities than it is for young boys to play “girl” activities. And as adults, “feminine” things are seen as frivolous, anti-feminist, vain, or proof of victimhood to societal brainwashing.
We are sharing this research, creating educational content and community in hopes of correcting this unbalance in the world. We believe this is the missing piece to true equality, a better world, and the next wave of feminism.
As a nonprofit organization, we do this by creating social media campaigns like on our instagram @thefemishorg, in-person events, book clubs, speaking engagements, our successful digital magazine: FEMISH Magazine, and collaborating with other amazing activists and organizations. We also work with college and graduate student interns in many fields of work. We have goals of creating our own research team, implementing gender-policing and femmephobia into DE&I trainings, and more!
Can you tell us the story behind how you met your business partner?
When I started my research journey that led me to found The FEMISH Organization, it was just me and my laptop looking for the “why” of my experiences.
I came across a feminist sociologist in Toronto, who is an expert in Femme Theory, and sent her an e-mail about my ideas and experiences. I kept it brief to be sensitive to her time, and mentioned I would love to chat. Dr. Rhea Ashley Hoskin got back to me, and we got our schedules together and had a Zoom meeting. She is now on our Board of Directors and is an important team member of FEMISH.
Cold calling can seem scary or weird, but I highly recommend it. Craft a great into email and send it out into the world. Because of this I have spoken with authors, created internship relationships with colleges, collaborated with amazing people, and found sponsors for events.
Have you ever had to pivot?
Life is all about pivots, nothing goes according to plan and this is where creativity can come in handy.
I graduated law school 8 months pregnant with my second baby, my first was 2 years old. I was supposed to take the bar June 2017, but my due-date was June 1 and I knew I did not want to handle the stress of studying while adjusting to a new baby. So I ignored the concern from others, and I waited to take the bar exam until Feb 2018 (and passed, yay!).
When I went to look for a job, I knew that I did not want to be in an office for 40+ hours a week. I searched for part-time, flexible schedule, but in a pre-Covid world this was hard to find. So I once again ignored the concern of others, and went solo with the first year. I educated myself in an area of law, sought out mentors, found attorneys willing to check my work, marketed myself with out-of-the-box strategies, and utilized the most powerful network of all: Moms.
In life when I have had to pivot, it was because I knew what I needed mentally to thrive, I refused to give up mental space to a job, a test, a life, that would not serve me. As someone who has suffered from anxiety and depression, I stay very self-aware of how something makes me feel, and once you realize you can create your own way, and your own life, those choices get easier to make.
Contact Info:
- Website: www.femish.org
- Instagram: @thefemishorg
- Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/thefemishorg
- Linkedin: https://www.linkedin.com/in/samantha-martin-3665b065/
- Twitter: @thefemishorg
- Other: Tiktok: @thefemishorg, @onedayillmeditate
Image Credits
Care Photos