We’re excited to introduce you to the always interesting and insightful Sam Eli Snyder. We hope you’ll enjoy our conversation with Sam Eli below.
Sam Eli, thanks for joining us, excited to have you contributing your stories and insights. I’m sure there have been days where the challenges of being an artist or creative force you to think about what it would be like to just have a regular job. When’s the last time you felt that way? Did you have any insights from the experience?
I am happy in my choice to pursue art and creativity.
I am someone who has experienced mental disability since I could remember, I’ve hallucinated all my life and this is what I believe to be a core factor in how I was shaped as an individual. I was a great student on paper until my high school career and suffered from parents who moved us around almost yearly – and we weren’t military. This left me to fend for myself as the oldest child of three as I grew, I had a significant lack of peer connection even though I tried. I was raised in multiple school systems so I saw everything, from the worst to the best, like students fighting and dying in the bathrooms I hid out in the day before, to being greeted by a trio of girls in the library, a scene straight from a YA novel and my dream friend group. My high school career ended in a mental care facility home for youth under 18 and still went back to graduate, next to my cousin in a small town in Kentucky.
During my time in Kentucky, I grew up with the guidance of my great aunt who I would go see to decompress in her quiet home. She is the woman I attribute to seeding my beliefs in the divine connection we share with nature. She is the person who taught me the intention of sewing, the spiritual map of the Appalachia, and how to walk the woods with appreciation. My paternal grandfather who sat at the end of the graduation stage in his wheelchair with oxygen, just arriving from Ohio, is who I attribute to teaching me work ethic, self motivation, and humility.
I consider this school experience and my time in the christian church to be what led me to full time childcare after graduating, my greatest passion aside from art and spirituality. It was these experiences that also made me a notorious “crash out”, situations and society teaching me that I should get married and have kids with my full time job, so I ran away to do just that, back to Ohio. These were major stepping stones in opening up to myself. Through my first 4 years as an adult I went through my most extreme mental health crises, I went to multiple psych wards, I experienced multiple SA occurrences, I divorced from my former husband and my entire blood related family, experienced brief homelessness, I hurt people emotionally amidst loosing connection to reality, I did a lot. While these experiences are still difficult to recall, and I accept responsibility for what I was able to control, I do think this is a similar story to many people who struggle with intense mental illness who lack a support system, who lack acknowledgement from school systems or surrounding communities. Though I was able to go to mental hospitals, these are places that only increase symptoms and situational traumas as our healthcare system also fails people young and old. I pursued therapy for a total of 9 years now, and have only recently found any sort of success through practices like EMDR and combined approach. Even still I recognize that there are hard limits to what Im able to do, I have lost friendships through my struggle to accept that I cant do everything I want, that I have to find alternative experiences. My limitations, both physical and mental, have taught me more than I believe some others begin to consider.
Being a queer artist without any family but my two dogs, I feel it important to give you this history of myself, to recognize the struggle before I make light of it. This isn’t an uncommon story so I will say the only difference between myself and anyone sharing this is selfishness. Selfishness, to me, is a requirement to creating quality art that translates your full emotion. Through trial and error all my life, I have learned in recent years, the last 3 years at now 26 years old, that being self centered is important to our work. Accepting my downfalls and errors, that no one will wish me well even when I show up for everyone else, that lessons are what make us better and more compassionate humans, is all our individual responsibility. Individuality is what creates a balanced ecosystem. Knowing this is what has led me into acceptance and resolution that I am capable of doing what I find fulfilling. I do not choose to pursue art because it is financially, emotionally, or politically safe, I choose art because art and my spirituality is the only thing in this world that has recognized my full worth. From my mistakes to my intensity, from my greatest poem to the readings that only make sense to the client, art will always recognize the full spectrum of the human experience. Remaining committed to art and creativity is my happiness, it dissipates the shame and taboo when I live true to what I believe. Creativity is my happiness because I choose to never quiet my vibrancy. I have never found such a trying profession as the title ‘Artist”, this path forces me to celebrate my wins as much as I dwell on my errors and this is what moves us forward as intentional humans. I am happy as an artist, from top to bottom.
( And hi to my brothers, hope you’re reading this)
Sam Eli, before we move on to more of these sorts of questions, can you take some time to bring our readers up to speed on you and what you do?
I am a Hispanic, queer Columbus based artist who works primarily as a tarot reader and event manager, as well as embroidery, poetry and charcoal arts.
I was introduced to spirituality and stitch work through my families homes in the Appalachia, eastern Kentucky specifically. My great aunt is who I attribute teaching and instilling in me the importance of nature and respect of the land, how to enjoy your time there and let go, a tribute to her longevity of life. Her and her sister were neighbors in the Appalachia, and the family followed in remaining there.
Event management is a process for me where I dedicate my time to serving the vendors and artist I look to connect to a greater audience. I look to provide a smooth experience for artist while meeting needs, wether financial, physical, or emotional to foster community and connection behind our brands. I look to create events that also serve unique intersections of various communities. As trans or BIPOC centered events also rely on those consumers to spend money, I am currently in the kick off phase of a series of events that will progressively create its own ecosystem to eventually allow performers and consumers alike to enjoy nights of de-centering education and recentering fulfillment of social and emotional needs in a hope to foster progression of our community building in daylight hours. These events prioritize non traditional or non socially acceptable art forms such as multi media performances, intense sculpture exhibits, and a full spectrum of music genres.
With my visual work I look to translate my more indescribable experiences with hallucinations and the onset of paranoia or delusion. I use my art to be as transparent as possible, I pair it with poetry or writing to give a multimedia approach to the message or feeling I try to translate. My stitch work is an ode to traditional quillwork from the Appalachia taught to me by my great grandmother at an early age. Being so solitary in my life gives me purpose in documenting my feeling and internal affairs as the only one I tell these stories to are the ones who view my artistic expressions. I believe everyone deserves the opportunity to be heard and seen, even if the lack of reciprocation continues to exist. As I’ve shown my work more consistently, that reciprocation has begun through appreciation. My favorite work by other artist typically leaves me with a million and one questions about their subject matter, to be viewed in the same light is both an honor and a moment to feel heard through art.
Learning and unlearning are both critical parts of growth – can you share a story of a time when you had to unlearn a lesson?
My creative journey began as self proclaimed service work, I lived for others, I provided service to others, and I centered others in my personal life. At the beginning of my spiritual offerings to others I was reading for free and absolutely do not regret this, I would sit for hours or step aside with strangers, allowing this to consume all my time and attention. Looking back at this time, I notice that this was before centering my higher power and spiritual beliefs. While it was necessary work, I needed the spare change from free readings and the $5 – $10 from paid readings as I elevated, and I respected the calling to show up for others in honor of my higher power, I do believe that this was a time where I fell into habits of people pleasing and accepting disrespect, as well as not noticing my capabilities or believing that I was worth more.
As I navigated through the city on my own, hearing significant encouragement from select individuals that they would never accept a free reading from me or pay me less than what they believe I’m worth, I began to realize the reason I am able and moved to do this work, does in fact reflect on my spiritual worth. The work we create is given to us with a purpose, spirit recognizes that we are open to receiving, that we are responsible enough to translate these messages and emotions to the crowd and people that need to hear it. I not only serve my higher power through tarot readings and divination, but also through the message and intention of my art work. I believe art and expression relies on our backstories, on our lived experience, our highs and lows, and our spectrum of beliefs. I believe that when we invest into our communities through art it serves a purpose beyond our initial comprehension but to do that in full we have to believe in ourselves and our own right to be here.
As much as people have encouraged me in my journey, there have been times where I want to quit due to external and internal rejection and critique. If we don’t believe in our intention and capabilities, we are discouraging ourself and our gifts. I have been happy to unlearn negative self talk and beliefs, to unlearn limitations and societal norms surrounding intentional creations and their reach. I believe we can change our reality through expression and that starts with believing you can have a hand in that work.
What do you find most rewarding about being a creative?
As a former educator, the most rewarding aspect of art and creativity is witnessing the impact of positive self talk and creative accomplishments on students.
My art is generally targeting adult audiences in its physical form, however creativity has always been my first go to tool in the classroom. To witness the immediate impact of allowing students to understand the concept of creative freedom, and to then create something from start to finish is an unmatched experience. Our students generally lack the support of a well rounded education system, from social-emotional needs to simply strong math and science opportunities. Artistic and creative guidance can give a great foundation for self esteem, as well as encourage problem solving skills and motivation outside of art. Lack of encouragement in self expression or confidence is no fault of individual parents, we have devalued and removed opportunities and access to community structures, so to have the chance at providing an example for self determination and self belief as an artist in galleries and in the life of students is something I will be eternally grateful to have the ability to share.
Students do in fact grow up, and some of our young adult artist will continue to have support needs that they may not communicate as they are encouraged through recent schooling and society to keep to themselves. This is why it is important to treat other artist as you would treat yourself and how you would also engage with students, we never know who our art speaks to or who sees themselves in our reflection. This is why it is important to me that I also feed into my community through mentoring opportunities, new artist also need space to grow and be fed into emotionally. I thoroughly enjoy living through my artistic and creative expression because it allows others to believe they can do the same, and you absolutely can!
Contact Info:
- Website: https://samelitarot.chairwatch.com
- Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/sam.eli.arts/
- Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/@SamEliArts
- Other: Tumblr https://www.tumblr.com/blog/saintspecial
Image Credits
Rozay Perez