We were lucky to catch up with Ruby Del Mar recently and have shared our conversation below.

Alright, Ruby thanks for taking the time to share your stories and insights with us today. Did you always know you wanted to pursue a creative or artistic career? When did you first know?

I first knew I wanted to pursue a creative path professionally after the very first show I played with my previous project, Transy Warhol. It was August of 2021, and we had only been solidified as a band for a couple of months at that point, but we were itching to get started as a gigging band, no matter the quality of show or performance. As a way of getting our feet wet, we decided to throw a house show at our practice space, which was the home of our rhythm guitarist, Simone’s, parents, and invite a few people we knew. We built a crude stage out of plywood, and had to borrow PA equipment from Simone’s cousin, who also ran sound for us. To be frank, the show wasn’t great, the sound was shaky at best, and I was sweating bullets in the August heat, and yet I had never felt more alive. In my heart, I knew that there was no going back; I had found my home, and my calling.

Ruby, before we move on to more of these sorts of questions, can you take some time to bring our readers up to speed on you and what you do?

My name is Ruby del Mar, and I am the singer/songwriter/rhythm guitarist for Lavender Scare, an Austin-based pop punk band that combines girl group harmonies with raw punk energy. I am also formerly the lead singer/founder of Austin art punk band Transy Warhol, which was a project that was made up of all transgender females. As I stated before, I am transfemme, and my art is most definitely defined by my uniquely queer experiences in a fundamentally conservative place. If nothing else, my work seeks to provide a beacon for other queer people within communities like mine, who aren’t heard and who don’t have much to look up to. There’s a certain barrier set in place for people like me, and if even one person hears what I do and aspires for more, to shatter that barrier, then I’ve done my job. What I am most proud of, beyond the crazy shows, the recording sessions, the friendships I’ve made, is the small impact I’ve managed to make on my scene. I’ve helped to raise money for queer and trans youth on many occasions, I’ve played more intimate settings with people I’m proud to call friends, and I’ve tried my hardest to set an example for any trans kid who has seen me perform. Who wouldn’t be proud of that?

We often hear about learning lessons – but just as important is unlearning lessons. Have you ever had to unlearn a lesson?

The lesson I had to unlearn: trust in nobody but yourself and assume that others want what you have.

For background, my previous project, Transy Warhol, was filled with a lot of internal turmoil towards the end of of existence, and while everything seemed to be looking up professionally, personally I’ve never felt more bruised and battered. It seemed as though every move I made was the wrong one, and that confidence in one”s self was for fools: paranoia, to the nth degree. To cope, I built up as many walls as possible around myself, refused to let others get close, and always assumed that every interaction was transactional. In short, the spotlight, as dim as it was in hindsight, got to me. After everything ended, and I had to wake up to a reality that no longer included my band, I understood what a fool I had been. People are constantly on their own journeys, constantly reaching for more, and constantly reaching for help to get them into better positions, just as I was at the beginning of my creative journey. Tearing others down and refusing to lend a hand did nothing but make every success I had feel bitter and lonely, and what’s success if you can’t share it with the ones you love? These days, I try my hardest to lend a hand or an ear, and to appreciate what others have done for me. Being humble isn’t weakness.

For you, what’s the most rewarding aspect of being a creative?

The most rewarding part for me as a creative is the process of creation itself. From writing a song on a guitar, to finding the right vocal melody, to recording a demo with my band, to finally playing it live, it’s such a thrilling process. I find meaning within creation, and I relate best to the world when I’m able to put a piece of myself into it, as I’m sure all creatives do. The best part however, is the finished product, after recording a song in the studio. After recording it, adding all the bells and whistles, mixing it, mastering it, and releasing it, there’s a tension in the air once your song goes live. “Oh wow, I just did that… but what will people think?” To hear not only your friends and family, but complete strangers tell you that something you made was genuinely gripping, and that it touched them in a way… wow, there’s nothing more rewarding than that.

Contact Info:

• Instagram: @lavenderscareatx
• Youtube: Lavender Scare
• Other: Spotify: Lavender Scare

  Bandcamp: lavenderscareatx.bandcamp.com

Image Credits

Lavender Press Photo: Kenlie Goll

Full Band Action Shot: Benji Frey

Ruby Solo Shot: Luna Lockhardt