We were lucky to catch up with Robyn Hager recently and have shared our conversation below.

Alright, Robyn thanks for taking the time to share your stories and insights with us today. When did you first know you wanted to pursue a creative/artistic path professionally?

There wasn’t an exact moment I realized, but rather a cumulation of events overtime that led to me making the decision to pursue an artistic degree in higher education, thus leading me into the world of the arts and living the life of an artist.

When I was a sensitive elementary school child, I was almost deterred from finding my voice through my words when my 5th grade teacher told me I needed to “work on my writing” after I had submitted a writing assignment to her that I was proud of. It was a huge blow to my 10-year-old ego.

But, unbeknownst to my teachers and peers, I began my true passion for writing – creative writing – in the confines of the place I knew most in the world: my bedroom. I would write comic strips and fanfictions that I would post to my Wattpad account (throwback), not caring if they were read by anybody, but I found the process of writing these short, character-focused love stories so cathartic as I dealt with my pre-pubescent hormones.

It was a time of innocence in my writing that left almost as quickly as it came once I grew into an angsty, depressed teen, traumatized by the internet and obsessed with anything obscene and disturbing. This is when I began writing poems.

I wrote ferociously; it was like all of the discontent and unease I felt inside came out at once, and what stood out to me the most was that I enjoyed what I wrote, I thought it was real and raw. It was the first time I felt like I could express myself in a totally honest way. It was this realization, I would say, that steered me onto the path I am on today.

Great, appreciate you sharing that with us. Before we ask you to share more of your insights, can you take a moment to introduce yourself and how you got to where you are today to our readers.

I am currently a journalist living in the Hudson Valley whose true passion is writing poetry. I grew up in New Jersey and pursued a degree in Creative Writing at SUNY New Paltz in New Paltz, New York, where I graduated with my BA and, a year after my undergraduate graduation, I received my MA in Creative Writing. After graduating from my master’s program, I realized quickly that pursuing a full-time career in poetry would be unrealistic at best, so I began interning and freelancing for several different publications, including online literary and photography magazines, and for a while I even proofread expert reports for litigation purposes, before I started my current job working for two print and digital newspapers.

I launched my first website in 2019, atestamenttomyself.com, where I run a blog of my poems. 2019 was also the year I had my first book of poetry published: Sewage Flowers, by NDR Press (now defunct). Since then, I have had my poems published in at least a dozen different literary journals, online magazines and presses.

I began performing at open mic events when I was 18, near to where I when to college. This is where I met my publisher, who is still a close friend of mine, and these open mics totally changed my life. Growing up as an introverted, anxious and highly self-conscious kid, the thought of getting on a stage and reading my deeply personal poems was panic inducing. After reading several times on stage and establishing a community of like-minded poets and writers, my confidence grew.

Today, I host my own open mic event, called White Noise, which has been running since early 2022, and we are now on our 44th show. This open mic event has become established in the city that I run it in, and we have recurring and new performers at each event. For the past two years I have also been an organizer with the Hudson Valley News Years Day Spoken Word Extravaganza where I curate around 50 poets and performers to come read and perform their work at the event, which hosts over 120 different artists each year and has been going on since the late-90s.

Now, I have my poetry published several times a year (I just had three poems published the other day, yay!) and, despite my packed schedule working full-time as a journalist and commuting over an hour each way to work, I still find time to write every day. I am currently submitting my next book for publication, which is called Strawberry Season and 41 Other Poems, which I hope will be published soon.

We’d love to hear a story of resilience from your journey.

Throughout High School and into college I dealt with severe depression and anxiety which crippled my ability to function in many ways. This resulted in me sequestering myself to my room and drowning in my sorrow for years. Once I came to college, in many ways things got better and in many other ways they got worse. As much as I was able to come out of my shell and make friends and explore my interests on a deeper level, I was also introduced to a side of life that was dangerous if taken too far.

Being so excited about everything coming my way I slipped into a downward spiral and found myself floundering to overcome these new issues I was facing. Everybody who knew me then was worried about me – and I was too. The guilt I felt about the way I was living was almost too much to bear, and I felt like I was stuck at the bottom of a hole with no way out.

Then I got sober. I got sober and I got a job. I got sober, I got a job, and I started running. I got sober, I got a job, I started running, and I graduated from college, and then got pursued and got a graduate degree. I did all of these things and found the love of my life in the process.

It was at my lowest moments that I thought I was producing my best work; I was convinced that I needed to be in a dark place to write well, and it was only after overcoming this time that I realized that the poetry I began to create was better than anything I could have imagined.

I gained my confidence back, I gained my friends back, I gained my life back, and through it all I wrote, indefatigably, and now I can see my growth directly through my poetry and tell friends of mine who are struggling that the only way they can overcome what they are facing is by believing in themselves and that they are worth it.

In your view, what can society to do to best support artists, creatives and a thriving creative ecosystem?

Provide us with more resources, prioritize and create necessities around art in communities, and don’t outcast us because we see the world differently than you do.

I won’t lie and say that the government hasn’t come a long way with supporting artists, and although it isn’t great, it isn’t nearly as stigmatized as it was in the past. Artists can now thrive in ways they were never able to before; there are housing facilities created for artists, there are grants we can apply for and residencies where we can pursue our art in a safe environment, but how do these things equate into full-time paying work?

Unfortunately as artists we have to make compromises for our art. I never wanted to be a journalist, but it was the closest industry I could find that allowed me to still write and also have time for my own work on the side. Working in a small town makes this problem even more difficult. Small towns allow for established artists to rent studios or host galleries if they have the necessary funds to create these spaces – but what about the artists that don’t?

I have resigned myself to the fact that it may take me years until I am able to fully pursue my passion of poetry as a full-time career – and if I do make it, I’d be lucky.

I am not hopeless, I am realistic, and understand the limitations that artists naturally have to face because our passion provides a service that is more esoteric than other jobs.

The best thing that a society can do to support artists is support them. Purchase their work. Believe in their passion. And provide them with the necessary means to create without compromise.

Contact Info:

• Website: atestamenttomyself.com / clementinesrevenge.blog
• Instagram: atestamenttomyself / robynhager
• Facebook: Robyn Hager / White Noise
• Linkedin: https://www.linkedin.com/in/robynhager

Image Credits

First image (tiger dress): April 13th, 2024, featured performance at Soprano’s themed poetry reading at Philadelphia Small Works Gallery in Philadelphia.

Second image (large painting in background): Most recent White Noise event at Green Kill in Kingston, New York, on September 7. Coincided with their new gallery opening called “Dionysus: The Unmasked God” with original artwork by Gary Mayer.

Third image (sitting down): August 2019 book launch for “Sewage Flowers” at Green Kill in Kingston, New York.

Fourth image (books): Left to right: “Sewage Flowers”, released August 2019 by NDR Press, and “Laundromat Poems”, created April 2024 as a promotional zine.

Fifth image (standing in big room): Hosting at the Hudson Valley New Years Day Poetry Extravaganza on January 1st, 2024.

Sixth image (smiling): July 14th, 2024, featured performance at Scribes Gala at Tattooed Moms in Philadelphia.

Seventh image (building): Green Kill in Kingston, NY. Photo by Tony Adamis.