We’re excited to introduce you to the always interesting and insightful Rex Wilde. We hope you’ll enjoy our conversation with Rex below.

Hi Rex, thanks for joining us today. Do you have any thoughts about how to create a more inclusive workplace?

We are living in a time where workplaces are becoming increasingly conscious of social justice and corporate social responsibility. From addressing racism to closing the gender pay gap, workplaces are working to ensure equity at all levels of business.

Though, in this conversation of corporate inclusion, transgender individuals have long been misunderstood. Many people thought we didn’t exist or that being transgender was so uncommon there was no need to address transgender inclusion at a holistic level.

However, over the past decade, we have seen an increasing amount of visibility around LGBTQ+ people, communities, and issues — especially those who are transgender and gender expansive. Through the rise of the internet and representation in media, more individuals have gained access to information about TGX+ (transgender and gender expansive) identities. Leading many more TGX+ folks to come out and share their authentic identities.

In 2015, just 5 years ago, it was thought that the est. population of transgender adults in the US was less than 1%.

We now know that, 12% of Millennials identify as transgender or gender non-conforming. And that up to 27% of youth are identified as transgender or gender non-conforming. And that 56% (over half!) of Gen Z know someone who uses gender-neutral pronouns.

We know most individuals and companies want to be inclusive of this emerging demographic, many just don’t know how.

———

In discussing TGX+ inclusion, I often talk about the difference between moderate versus intentional inclusion:

Moderately inclusive organizations are those that say they’re inclusive or welcoming but still create environments subject to frequent microaggressions and behaviors of exclusion.

Intentionally inclusive organizations are those that are thoughtfully curated with TGX+ folks in mind, considering the TGX+ experience every step of the way and creating systems to ensure their belonging.

What this might look like is:

Moderately inclusive organization:

1. An organization that allows options for employees and clients to share their pronouns.

Intentionally inclusive:

1. Before rolling out options for pronouns, all employees are provided education about TGX+ inclusion, pronouns, pronoun culture, and are given opportunities to practice sharing their pronouns and using pronouns they may not be as familiar with (e.g. they/them, neopronouns, etc.).

2. Organizations have a strategy in place for TGX+ inclusive employee engagement efforts (like ERGs), have adjusted organizational policies to ensure TGX+ inclusivity (e.g. transition guidelines, health care coverage, restroom polices), and makes sure to apply a TGX+ lens to any DEI efforts and strategies.

3. Once organizations have implemented some of these TGX+ inclusion initiatives, organizations allow folks to designate pronouns, including an option for neopronouns or specifying if the individual goes only by their name.

———

Why is this important?

I’ve had many personal experiences as a nonbinary person where even when an organization said it was inclusive of LGBTQ+ folks, I experienced discrimination and exclusion.

One experience was when calling an organization that I’m a client of.

I was calling about an account issue that I was experiencing (you know, one of those issues that has you completely pulling out your hair!!).

I called their customer service helpline, and when I got connected with a customer service representative, I had an experience that I was not expecting.

———

The representative asked for my name and identifying information for my account. Initially, I had lowered the pitch of my voice (something I do from time to time to avoid being called “ma’am”), though this attempt was unsuccessful as the rep immediately started referring to me as “ma’am.”

The representative then asked to whom they were speaking and I once again verified, “This is Rex.”

This next part, I was not expecting…

“…you’re Rex?” the representative said in a confused tone.

“Yes, I’m Rex. I’m the account owner.”

The representative was initially silent and then continued in a suspicious tone, “Ohhh kay… I’m going to need you to verify some additional information for me.”

While verifying account information is often standard procedure, I’ve called this institution many times before, and with other representatives, I’ve never had to answer these additional questions to verify my account or identity (remember, I had already gone through their typical verification process at the beginning of the call).

I answered the questions and the representative once again spoke to me with a condescending and suspicious tone, “Well, I guess you have all the right answers. Why are you calling today?”

———

The rest of the phone call was incredibly condescending. When I asked for help understanding the contract I was under, I was told to go read the contract (which of course I already had, and the reason I was calling was to get clarification around verbiage I didn’t understand).

The representative clearly did not want to help me because they had made a decision that I was suspicious, or that because my voice did not conform to what they expected based on my name, they didn’t want to help me.

You might ask, “Why didn’t you say anything? Why didn’t you confront the rep?”

To be honest, it was difficult for me to immediately process what was happening. I was calling for something that was taking up a lot of my time and mental capacity, so I just wanted to get the phone call completed with the least amount of confrontation possible.

After I had time to process the call, I decided to file a complaint. I sent in a grievance letting them know about my experience as a customer and as a trans person. It’s been almost a year and I still haven’t heard back from them.

This is an organization that claims to advocate for underrepresented and historically marginalized groups.

So while this organization might consider itself inclusive, the truth is that the actions of the organization and this representative do not align with the values it claims to live by.

It’s interesting…

I don’t typically experience voice dysphoria. However, being continually misgendered and mistreated because of the tone of my voice leads me to feel invalidated, frustrated, and disempowered.

It leads me to moments where I’d rather not use my voice because when I’m silent, I’m less likely to be misgendered or have people assume that my name doesn’t match how they perceive me.

This is something that folks in the TGX+ community often experience.

A disconnect between how TGX+ folks experience themselves and their voice, and how others treat them because of their assumptions of what their voice “should” sound like.

This is one of the reasons why understanding the nuances of TGX+ voice empowerment is a critical part of TGX+ inclusion work.

Organizations must consider…

What is the impact when the TGX+ employees and leaders in our organizations don’t feel empowered to use their own voices?

What effect does this have on which voices are being heard within an organization, and which remain silent?

We’d love to hear about how you keep in touch with clients.

Building genuine relationships. For a long time I didn’t understand the term networking. It felt incredibly transactional. Something that really deviates from my personal values of collaboration and connection.

Over the years I’ve been able to change my definition of networking into something else: connectworking.

At the core of my work is the drive for connection. As humans, we are all wired for connection. We want to be seen and understood by others. When I work with clients, it’s not about being a vendor that comes in, provides a service, and leaves. It is about genuinely getting to know their organization, their people, and the ways that we can align in order to make their organization a better place to work. By approaching my clients this way, from a lens of really getting to know them, allowing them to get to know me, and building a real relationship with them, it makes it easy to stay connected even years later.

What’s been the most effective strategy for growing your clientele?

Relationships, relationships, relationships. I run a monthly Roundtable for clients to come and ask any questions they have about TGX+ inclusion in their organization. It’s an easy way for me to maintain regular relationships with current and past clients. And is a great way for any potential clients to get to know me before choosing to work with me. It has led me to my biggest contracts and allows me to keep my ear to the ground with challenges organizations are having so that I can help create solutions from what I learn they need.

Contact Info:

• Website: https://www.rexwilde.com
• Instagram: @rexwildeconsulting
• Linkedin: https://www.linkedin.com/in/rexewilde/