We caught up with the brilliant and insightful Rebel Foxx a few weeks ago and have shared our conversation below.

Rebel, looking forward to hearing all of your stories today. What were some of the most unexpected problems you’ve faced in your career and how did you resolve those issues?

When I first started this article, I was a different woman, in a different time, facing different problems. Instead of speaking on behalf of one particular problem, I’ll carefully speak upon my life as I reflect upon it.

As of today, I am officially 27 years old, laying in a man’s bed who has broken it off with me who is under the impression that he will get to see me one more time before I leave for Nashville, TN. I told him last night I was going to stay there longer because what’s the point of returning to Atlanta when I have no one to come back to. This person works in film, often grimacing at me because my presence is “[him] in the past”.

Last year, on my birthday, I was surrounded by my friends, I was 80lbs heavier, a totally different person. Then I started dating a man who has a daughter. The more time I spent with him, the more my music seemed to slip away, especially when I met his daughter on Christmas when her mother dropped her off with nothing but the clothes on her back. I saw this broken little girl on the doorstep and I immediately saw myself. Everything at that point, all the pain and agony I put myself through was for her. I fell in love with the words I kept hearing in my head that eventually turned into my greatest delusion; “we could be a family”

In my mind, I had manifested this little family and it was up to me to make sure this little girl would succeed. It was up to me to take care of her, and that I did. When she needed clothes, she looked stylish. When she needed food, I resourced most of our food for free. A lot of the items that she needed to succeed I was able to get for free because I stumbled upon this ability to literally manifest the things that I felt I needed at the time through my resourcefulness. It is this resourcefulness that eventually let me on this path.

I can’t even begin to explain the situations I put myself through. I lost the weight by giving up my food. I ended up living with him, and his daughter and here I thought I was being a good mom. In that time I lived there, I spent a lot of time researching my own family history, as well as discovering my spirituality. I spent a lot of hours on his laptop that was hacked by someone in Saudi Arabia because of the third-party apps the little girl was downloading so she could play trending social games like “gotcha life” and “roblox”. I used that to my advantage, and did a lot of research and digging in my time of finding resources to discover a lot of secrets about my own heritage, without American censorship because there are a lot of things that are censored.

For example, when bitten by a brown recluse looking on the Internet for advice and resources, you will only find tens of thousands of pages that will tell you to go to a doctor. By going on this Saudi Arabian network, that was loosely translated into English which gave the perception that everything is fine, I was able to find different medical advice about the extraction of the membrane. That is how I survived the bite. I do not recommend this to anyone by the way because my words are not about to become your liability. Im supposed to say that I eventually went to a doctor for meds.

ANYWAYS.

At the beginning of our relationship I discovered that my ex is a painter, and a brilliant one at that. So we often painted together. That’s where I discovered my love for art. it’s ironic because I come from a family of artists, my mom is a fine artist and my brother is an animator/illustrator. If it’s in your blood, let it weep. It’s been less than a year since I started to take my art seriously, but I didn’t dive in deep until the relationship ended, and I ended up on the streets of Atlanta. He kicked me out and we lost our house. He kicked me out, never really giving me a specific reason. Towards the end, our sex was as explosive as our arguments. So I threw everything I could in the van my parents gave me and I spent my summer in Atlanta, specifically Little 5 Points, taking care of others, as I took care of myself. The mother in me who had mothered this little girl was ingrained in my soul at that point. So I saw everyone struggling as, essentially, broken children. As I was saving them, I was saving myself. I made sure to keep my mind clear and off of heavy substances because I knew if I didn’t I would be targeted to either get hurt, trafficked, most likely all of the above. I often had my blonde hair covered because someone warned me that blondes are profitable.

What got me to survive was my newfound skill I learned painting. It was there I recorded an album, it was there I wrote new music. It was there I found the root of corruption and had attempted to de-root the weeds only to find my van destroyed and towed.

So then this dude reached out to me, saying, “ Yo I heard some shit going on in your life. Not gonna judge but if you need someone to actually vent to, I get the struggle”.

I was crashing with a friend and I was going to sleep under a bench at the HE Holmes train station because I had felt like I was burdening the people around me, (which is a problem and mindset I often felt when struggling with suicidal thoughts).

We talked through voice messages, me explaining my woes, and I found myself at the house owned by a dude who has a band called, “Evel August”. It was there, up until today where I have been able to clean myself up, eat, sleep, get my head right and reconnect with my family. The leader of Evel August, Mike Meas, I owe my life to for letting me stay in his home this long. I was able to reconnect with music in a way that I hadn’t since I was raising a child.

The ex that took me into this house, the one who works in film and I had an rollercoaster of a relationship that in my mind was very beautiful. I didn’t mind things moving fast because my life is fast and spontaneous. He held me at night and stared into my eyes and at the time it made me feel safe and secure. Promises of marriage on an altar in South Carlolina, is what I held onto. So I’m my mind, I manifested myself being a wife. His wife.

I’m sure at this point we see the problem here. Falling in love with people who tell me anything to get the fun out of me, and literally dumping me when I’m no longer, “fun”. I’m like a puppy from a pound. I’m cute when you first pick me up, but then once the wrong person decides I’m not cute anymore, and they’re tired of my howling at night, guess where I end up?

Things fell apart when I ran into my ex who initially made me homeless at a bar. I wanted to rip his ears off, and I hissed at him my peace and truth only to be met with a totally different, and pitiful man. We talked until the bar closed, talked into a nature walk around the town, talked into the next morning as we still walked in town, talked into breakfast in which we got for the employees discount because I just so happened to work there years ago, talked on the ride to what I thought was my new home and life path. This journey led to me forgiving him. Not forgetting, but forgiving. I finally was able to let that part of my past go so I could focus on this manifestation I had in my head of being a wife, only to be met with a lack of understanding, him doing the same thing to me that my last ex had done. Throwing me out on the streets.

I felt, and currently feel, disposable, on my 27th birthday.

We tried to make it work, we drank a lot. He’s great. I’m not, apparently not for him. I bought a bus ticket to Nashville when I thought I was going to leave the first time, and then he pleaded me not to leave, so I changed the date. Then after I changed the date,

“Can you just wait on the ticket, and we’ll go together when I save up enough? I am just waiting for my next [film] job”.

I knew in my gut that was a bad move, but I said nothing.

Now. At 10:34 AM, September 2nd, I’m finishing this section up, and he’s made it clear that “he’s not ready for a relationship”, and I’m taking a chance in Nashville.

First night in, I’ll get to play a show and then after that, back to the streets I go, in hopes of the pursuit of happiness. These sheets I’m going to miss. My pillows, but giving up everything is not something I’m not used to.

My obstacles? People who use my lack of stability, financial status, my race, (I’m mixed, and often get targeted due to toxic exoticism), and my mental disabilities, (Autism, PTSD, recovering Bulimic and Anorexic, Clinical depression, severe anxiety disorder), as a means of control. I was told that I should hide my issues, but not talking about them and the lack of normalcy is contributing to the judgement that’s placed upon me not only romantically, but economically as well. My setbacks don’t stop me, but my life is a little more difficult. It’s like my soul when it was creating the character for my RPG chose difficulty level, “get wrecked”, but it comes with perks that you can’t get on any other level so it’s actually more fun to play at times, but increasingly difficult at others.

Me: Hello there, I’m Rebel Foxx. I named myself. I’m a musical savant who plays over 20 different instruments, had a semi-successful band that I managed myself, and I’m a self taught painter. I was diagnosed with autism when I was two, but my goal in life is to normalize mental health and help others through my resourceful abilities because I’ve struggled with homelessness and have seen the broken system. Sure, I have my quirks, setbacks, and moments but a fox always lands on her feet!

Men who I’ve dated, and with power in society be like: “You’ve got so much potential, and I really like you. You’re sexy, but I don’t want to take you seriously because, (gross), you’ve got autism. You don’t look like it, which is why I keep having sex with you and lead you on. I keep you around and you should be thankful because if you were anyone else I would have kicked you out of my life a long time ago. But now your setbacks intimidate me, being equally as intelligent as you are manic, and I feel guilty so here’s some petty cash for an Uber so you can be somebody else’s problem. You have parents you can mooch off of, right? Don’t all twenty-somethings do that? Oh wait, you actually don’t want to use your parents? I wasn’t listening when you told me your story, I was just thinking about how I’m going to conquer your body later because simply, I can.”

I shaved my head as a protest against misogyny, and that I’m done submitting to their opinions of who they feel I should be through modern materialism such as hair.

“I like your hair [insert hair color, and texture close to how they met me here] better”

Or

“You should [insert overt sexual manic pixie porn star they saw and secretly want me to look like here] do this to your hair”.

Once I realized that my hair was a means of control for others I shaved it off, and saw myself for the very first time.

As I embark in this new journey, I don’t look back. I am taking the risk of homelessness, in a different state, to pursue my dreams. When reading this, I don’t want you to feel sorry for me. I am exactly where I’m supposed to be.

Great, appreciate you sharing that with us. Before we ask you to share more of your insights, can you take a moment to introduce yourself and how you got to where you are today to our readers

This section was written back in July, and slight alterations were made due to editing purposes.

First of all, I am the creator of an idea called, “The Blue Foxx Reserve: tendit in ardua virtus”

Virtue strives for what is difficult.

My old bass player, Wilson Bass, used to say, “if it were easy, everyone would be doing it”.

I always admired the wisdom of that statement because it’s very true. It’s not easy taking a risk to talk to strangers, but like in rock in roll, I have this keen ability to break the rules. I’ve made so many new friends because of it. And there’s not a lot of strangers that I can’t handle, but I keep my distance from those who I feel in my gut give me bad vibes. Everyone needs a little help, rich, poor, everyone.

Even though my idea is still in the baby steps, I live my motto like everyday is my last. I have given out clothes, food, books, puzzles, medical treatment, mental health consulting, and my heart to those who are struggling. Little things get in my way but I am in no way willing to stop. It brings me joy to help, and it brings contentment to my heart to see my friends getting stronger every day. I can’t expect everyone to make the right choices, so I have learned to adapt to certain lifestyle choices and decisions that I don’t personally make, but I can’t stop others from doing, so I kind of cater to needs and not wants. “I want to just hit him, he’s acting like a blah blah blahdidty blah”, said one friend. I asked them if they were hungry and all of a sudden, the anger went away!
Who knew that food and mental health go hand in hand amongst the homeless? Why, I’m sure our local government knows, as well as the several people who judge us. Hey people, the only thing that separates me and you, is the Bitcoin in our wallets. We both fall on our shins, so why are you charging me fifty cents for water? Why are business owners so intimidated by me to the point where I get thrown out tonight because, “there’s a very important show, and they want you out because you’re taking up space by painting, and because you can’t buy anything, you can’t be here”.

“But I have five bucks, I was waiting to buy a beer!”, says I!

“No, I’m sorry, they just want you gone”, said he!

“So let me get this straight. Me painting, is taking up space, and you’re refusing me service even though I have money to buy a beer?”

The man shook his head and adverted my gaze. My pain and suffering compensation was one, yellow, American Spirit. I paint and occasionally busk. I often get asked, “you’re a musician, why can’t you just busk everyday and make money that way?”

Good question, fellow NPC!

Music is my strong suit, my heart always likes to sing the blues. With soul, passion. I don’t care who’s listening I sing like it’s my last song, often practicing next to this mural outside of 7 stages on Euclid Ave. I believe the mural is older than me, but there’s a woman right in the middle turned upward with a quote over it saying, “In the end times, Will there also be singing”. And I had to change my pants because that woman looks like me. So in a way, it feels like I’m singing to a future self. I like to think that in an alternate universe, there’s an older woman whose accomplishments were vast and valiant, and she’s hearing me sing to her when the world ends. Ive been in over ten bands, managed, fronted, and wrote for my past band Toxic Foxtrot, has numerous compositions under my belt and yet I know in my heart the general public often misunderstands me. I come off like a goofy doofy, or a b*tch. How you come at me is the flip of a coin, because as I used to tell the child I was helping raise, you can’t control nature.

Anyways, I know my strengths.

If I busked everyday, yes I’m sure I would be more financially stable, but you have to remember, I’m also homeless. If I am seen with wads of cash going in and out through shadows every night, I’m bound to get mugged at some point. So, I can only do it every so often, as to not attract more attention to myself than I already do. Plus that’s more people I have to engage, can’t chase someone with my axe if regretful hands get sticky in my case.

(Axe = Guitar)

(…no I don’t own an axe or chase people with them. I feel like that needs to be said for insurance purposes).

Painting has been great for me because it allows me to blend in when I need to, it allows me to stay in one spot more and really contemplate my next moves. One mistake could cost me everything.

As far as music, I have an EP out on Spotify under “Fleeting Zenko”. Currently seeking musicians to form a band with me under this new name. Looking for anything and everything. Ideally, I want to sound like if Freddy Mercury fronted Led Zepplin, and played guitar like a fiend. I like to sing everything and anything, what’s out is a raw version of new material I’m working on. I have to give credit to Matt Greenia of Dude Hugs”, for believing in me, and being so patient with me when I was at the lower point in my life, and giving me the platform to blast my emotions out like a running faucet that’s hot enough for grits. Thanks to him, there are four musical movements out on SoundCloud under Fleeting Zenko.

I also have four songs out with Toxic Foxtrot in most streaming platforms, as well as work with Spurge and various other songwriters under the name, “Bri Foxx”. Thank you Donny Hammonds for all the time you spent recording as well as mixing and mastering the, “Everybody Knows”, EP.

As far as art, I’ve been doing commissions, as well as selling my pieces on the street. I’m getting by.

So. Blue Foxx Reserves, Released a solo EP thanks to Matt Greenia from dude hugs and it’s out. Older stuff is on Spotify under Bri Foxx, and Toxic Foxtrot.

Alright – so here’s a fun one. What do you think about NFTs?

This section was written in July, and I intend on keeping this unaltered.

It’s Bitcoin for Phish Heads!

Please laugh at my joke, that one goes out to “Cobra”, a good friend of mine.

I find this question the most challenging because I have no idea what this is, I would just hear it mentioned a lot at the concerts Cobra took me to up in Ashville.

So right now, I’m going to look this up and give an unbiased, educated opinion on this matter:

Start time: 5:48AM, Saturday July 23. Happy Birthday Meghan Matsumoto! (Friend from high school)

To understand NFTs, you have to understand what the word. “fungible”, means. I didn’t know what that meant. So, fungible, means interchangeable. To my street friends, like the laws of equivalent exchange, but with money. So you can give me a $20 bill, and I’ll give you a ten and two, fives. Nonfungible, can’t be changed or exchanged. You can only trade these currencies as they are.

Now that I have that in my head at 5;55AM, I’m gonna continue.

So, it’s easily created and can hold value by being some kind of creative digital file? That’s kind of cool. I understand why people grativate to that. It makes money more, “personal”. I mean, anyone would much rather say, “I can pay you with a Freddy Mercury NFT”, than, “here’s my Apple Pay”.

Well, as cool as that sounds, I personally find a couple problems with this. First of all, it’s easy to scam others with a format like that. What if the NFT wasn’t genuine, and there’s some hipster elf running around getting old people to invest in “NFT”s, when really he’s just trying to scam others through manipulation? I don’t really know of many people that use NFTs, which tells me that it might contribute to a wedge in the already damming separatation of the social classes. Not everyone can access technology. If you have a phone with service, you’re everyone’s telephone out here.

It is however, an ingenious way for artists to share their work with major labels and deal business in a way that’s low key. To make your own NFTs, with your music, to send out in case anyone needed it who is that advanced in their investments would be a very smart way to shake hands with the kind of people that could very well be the hand to help you when you need it the most.

At 6:07A’M, that’s my unbiased opinion, I don’t claim to know everything, please don’t judge me, lmao.

Any insights you can share with us about how you built up your social media presence?

This section was written back in July, and I intend on keeping this unaltered.

I’m writing this lacking sleep for close to 24 hours so forgive me if I sound ditzy. My favorite beverage in Atlanta is black coffee.

Look everyone, let me tell you a secret. In this world, you have to pay to play.

Organically, by myself and by sheer luck, have gotten a small following. You can buy promotions through shout outs to boost your visibility, not to mention, likes, and follows. What makes it practically undetectable to American markets is that the “followers”, are internationally based mainly in The East Asia regions, as well as up in the Swedish and Switzerland areas due to their study of the English language. Or you can pay people through Craigslist to be a commentor, or “loyals”, to like, subscribe, and share every little s*** you take. Someone will watch it.

The more followers you have, the more businesses want to hire you to represent their brands. You get discounts at luxury stores. Free things, “shout outs for food”, kind of thing. I mean, good for you if that’s your life. Seriously, more props to ya. If I could walk in a bar where I don’t have to choose to either pay the “water tax”, to get some water, or get publicly shamed for the fifteenth time; I would be all smiles.

So the point I’m trying to make is that social media is hella toxic. The unrealistic expectations of what’s “in”, is based on a reality that chooses virality over empathy. Plain and simple. Every time I make a post on social media I cringe because I used to be all about it. Then, when everything fell apart in my life and I was forced to be without it, I realized that life is so much more beautiful when you aren’t glued to those blue lights.
Social media can attribute to poor mental health. Everyone’s trying to catch a Pikachu when everyone knows that the legendaries are at the end of the game.

Also, what’s said in black and white is what’s set and stone. I know I cant take back any of my past ignorances or stupid s*** I said to piss people off, but I can humbly say that my intentions are good. I apologize to any one I may have hurt through social media. Because social media can hurt people. Not to mention people will load just about anything to social media. It almost sounds like a modern day Babylon.

Others have marketing teams because they went through talent scouting programs, and their PARENTS pay for the exposure.

Some genuinely work hard and work from the bottom up.

Some will sell their souls.

I have grown lackluster to social media but continue on with it as a check up to everyone that cares about me that yes, I’m still alive. If I died, you’re gonna find it out through social media before you find out through a neighbor. It’ll get couple hundred likes, and then I too, would be forgotten in this one tracked mind of a world we seem to live in.

Don’t live your life based off of social media, or your “presence”. I have a presence when I get drunk but even I have sobriety breaks. Now. If I posted every little thing I did in my life, I would have no privacy. Privacy is consequential to the human psyche.

Humanity is vexing.

Another organic way of getting a presence is a niche, like you’ve got a unique extremity, or you’re story of survival involved wrestling polar bears for fun. Thrill seekers are your best kind of audience, in that case. They’ll be you’re best customers, and most loyal.

I’m using these terms, as they have been spoken to me by industry people like Rick Barker, someone who I have looked up to since my early twenties. Never could afford his wisdom, but I liked his book.

If you’re in a band, everyone should split the social media duties equal ways until you are successful enough to hire your own marketing team. Because each member might have their own following anyways, allowing for bigger shows and an increase in profit through merch and ticket sales. One person doing it all, and not being paid, is in poor taste if you ask me.

Let me tell you, living in a spot like little 5, word spreads around quick. There’s lots of social media, I find Atlantans prefer Instagram over all else, and will only give out facebooks to family and close friends. Unless you’re in Buckhead, then you better be hot with SnapChat.

If you’re looking to get into inner circles, go out. It’s good to have everything made already for your brand in your name, that way you have ultimate control. I find that using proton over gmail as an email source is better for communications with colleagues in the arts because it’s a more secure email platform IMO. Sell yourself like you’re the coolest thing alive, get their IGs, and maybe you’ll run into God herself and she’ll give you a raise!

Go nuts.

Contact Info:

• Website: https://m.soundcloud.com/brisotillo101
• Instagram: @fleetingzenko
• Facebook: Rebel Foxx
• Other: https://loudwomen.org/2022/01/03/spurge-feat-bri-foxx-why-would-you-video-of-the-day/ I am accepting donations, and commissions. CashApp: $deadlydaydreamer Venmo: $fleetingzenko

Image Credits
I own all images