We’re excited to introduce you to the always interesting and insightful Rebecca Stern. We hope you’ll enjoy our conversation with Rebecca below.

Rebecca, appreciate you joining us today. I’m sure there have been days where the challenges of being a business owner force you to think about what it would be like to just have a regular job. When’s the last time you felt that way? Did you have any insights from the experience?

Running my own solo practice as a mediator is stressful, overwhelming and regularly seems impossible. It is also rewarding beyond words. I have the freedom to shape the mission and identity of my business, to choose the cases I take on, the partnerships I form, the hours I spend. I also have the pressure of relying on myself to build a practice that is sustainable in every way. When it hits a speed bump that is all on me, and as it thrives and grows, I feel incredibly proud of what I’ve built and the impact I’ve had through my work.

I can’t say I don’t wonder what it would be like to balance the pressure on some other shoulders, to have the benefits of shared support staff, infrastructure, group retirement plan, and heaven help me, great health insurance. Not having the luxuries of being a member of a large practice is the price I pay for my independence. That independence has allowed me to learn and grow my practice and skills at a speed that excites me. I’ve been able to focus on the client work I love, consistently expanding my education and offerings, while learning the business end of being a solopreneur hands on every day. The systems that make my business run smoothly are choices I’ve made, partnerships I’ve formed, collaborators I’ve sought out, best practices I’ve chosen by trial and error, and amazing administrative support I’ve found.

The one thing guaranteed is change so I don’t rule out the possibility of working differently one day. For now, the enthusiasm I have each day to get up and build it better, and help more clients with approaches more creative and effective than those I used yesterday, feels like the right balance.

Awesome – so before we get into the rest of our questions, can you briefly introduce yourself to our readers.

What’s the kindest thing anyone’s ever done for you? – story to tell 

Bio

Not only do I help clients navigate the divorce process as a professional, but I have been through my own heartbreaking divorce. One of the many hurdles we face when we split from a long-term spouse is friendship fallout. We may feel judged, our friendships may change, and we may lose some friends altogether along the way. Though losing friendships, especially those you shared with your spouse, is common, it can be especially painful at a point when you long for extra support.

So when friends really do step up and show their love during your divorce it’s especially meaningful and shows who you can truly rely on.

After graduating college my husband maintained friendships with a group of his former fraternity brothers. Each married an amazing woman and we all became very close. While we had friendships, both shared and individual, outside this circle, these couples were an anchor for us. Our kids grew up together. We celebrated milestones together. We vacationed together.

When we announced we were divorcing I was anxious about these relationships as their origin was tied to my soon-to-be-ex. What happened next gets me emotional to this day.

The women reached out to include me in a plan to meet up for brunch. This was a welcome activity, but not so unusual that I thought there was any agenda. At our table, mimosas in hand (What were we celebrating?) a toast was made — to me! They let me know that no matter what, they would be there for me. They were “my people” and the end of my marriage was simply a sign to them that I needed some TLC.

While this simple act seemed like a given to the rest of the group, it was a life raft to me when I felt I might drown. During divorce friendships require intention and years later I am still so grateful to have such beautiful people in my life.

Can you tell us about a time you’ve had to pivot?

I love this question because I feel like my business has been built on the need to pivot.

I grew up with the belief that fighting against injustice was a calling and the ultimate use of one’s skills. Fresh out of law school I had jobs in child advocacy, public relations, the nonprofit world, and ultimately became trained as a divorce and family mediator.

Before my career as a mediator could build much steam, it became clear that my children needed me full time. The first of my two sons struggled with PDA, a form of high functioning autism that made just getting up and dressed for kindergarten an olympic sport. My then husband had already launched a successful full-time career so it made sense for me to be on the “front line” as we used to say of supporting our child’s complex and demanding needs.

I became my son’s advocate, navigating his challenges at home, clinical supports, and the often frustrating special education system.

Soon I found myself helping other parents in the same boat. Sharing my right and wrong turns with others was gratifying and so I became a Special Education Parent Advocate, guiding clients when I could make the time.

Once my children became more independent I added spin instructor to my part-time resume. My confidence grew and I discovered I love the role of coach.

When I was hit by the truck of my own divorce I learned as much as I cried.

What came next was the biggest pivot… putting it all together. My son, through his own force of will, and with the help of a lot of wonderful people, matured into his best self.

After watching him not fit into the usual boxes and carve his own way of succeeding, I thought I should do the same. It was time for me to build something for myself.

How could I have the biggest impact professionally? In creating Pearl Mediation I became a divorce and family mediator with expertise in helping families of children with special needs. Everything that had made my path feel all over the place, now became a cohesive, unique education all building to the practice I love today.

What doesn’t kill us… can be a great foundation for our next chapter.

How’d you build such a strong reputation within your market?

The strength of my professional reputation comes from my own vulnerability. That is to say, I’ve lost myself, been wrong, made mistakes, and my honestly and empathy is, I believe, what attracts my clients. I am very good at my job. So are a lot of other people. What I believe has made me stand out is my approach. I tend to be no B.S. right out of the gate. I know the pain of watching your child struggle, of watching your marriage unravel. I let my clients know that I understand how isolated and overcome they may feel, and that they are not alone, that I’ve got their back, and that we will do the homework, and navigate the path forward, together. I’m not afraid to get creative. “That’s just how it’s done” does not sit well with me. If there’s a better way, let’s go find it. I collaborate with other professionals who share a philosophy that many of the systems we work within are very broken, and that with skill and heart, we can help our clients find a better way that leaves them on higher ground.

Contact Info:

• Website: https://rebecca-stern.com/
• Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/rebeccasternjd/
• Linkedin: https://www.linkedin.com/in/rebeccapearlstern/
• Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/@rebeccastern7934

Image Credits

Noa Green Studio