We recently connected with R. Lynn Barnett and have shared our conversation below.

R. Lynn, thanks for joining us, excited to have you contributing your stories and insights. Going back to the beginning – how did you come up with the idea in the first place?

I’ve written 2 books on healthcare: “What Patients Want: Anecdotes and Advice” and “My Mother Has Alzheimer’s and My Dog Has Tapeworms: A Caregiver’s Tale.” I wrote the “Patient” book because I had been adrift in a draft, (if you get my drift) in enough doctors’ offices, that I felt I could share the perspective of the patient in the white paper sack, with healthcare professionals in white lab coats. I wrote the “Alzheimer’s” book when my husband and I took care of my mom for 5 years, during her Alzheimer’s journey. (Well, I guess I should say “our” journey, because it affects family members as much as the patient.) I thought of the title when I was driving home from work one day, and I realized that my once broad life was reduced to the pressing health concerns of my mom and dog. I tried to write both books with humor and heart, since you need both in life, and particularly when dealing with health issues.

As always, we appreciate you sharing your insights and we’ve got a few more questions for you, but before we get to all of that can you take a minute to introduce yourself and give our readers some of your back background and context?

I’m a teacher by trade and a writer by choice, but I never thought I’d be writing about health issues, especially the book about my mom having Alzheimer’s, and about her needing a caregiver, (in our case, me). I had to remind myself that neither did she, on either count: she never thought she’d get that disease, or that she’d need a caregiver. Years before she got Alzheimer’s, a mammogram showed a problem. When her friends would ask her how she was doing after her surgery, she’d say, “I feel fine, I just take lousy pictures.” I figure if she could have a sense of humor about a cancer diagnosis, I could “channel” that perspective regarding her Alzheimer’s diagnosis. Sometimes, I’d get ideas for the book in the middle of the night, and we have a pad behind our bed, behind my head. When I’d get in the contorted position to reach the pad should an idea strike, my husband would say, “Are you hurting?” After a few nights of this, he’d say, “Are you inspired?” Sometimes, I’d get ideas in the shower, which means that sometimes, my ideas can be all wet. Regarding the “Patient” book, I’ve included some funny anecdotes there, like when my doctor entered the room and said, “I’m sorry about the weight,” and I said,” I eat 1200 calories a day and exercise daily, what else do you want me to do?” And he said, “The wait, I’m an hour late, I’m so sorry about the wait.” Here I was ducking an insult, and he was apologizing.

We’d love to hear a story of resilience from your journey.

I think every caregiver learns to be resilient. Our lives can seem like a math problem of yore: Is “caregiving” part of our national conversation these days because a) more people are caregivers, b) because more people are willing to admit to the stress that often accompanies caregiving, c) because more people are living longer, and hence might need caregiving, or d) all of the above, and I submit that it’s d) all of the above. For me, exercising, and exercising my right to write, fostered resilience, in addition to finding a sense of humor when I could. When my mom wanted to tell someone that she had pounded the pavement, looking for a job (accounting) in NY after college, but what she said was, “I walked the streets of NY, if you know what I mean,” I knew I had to write this stuff down. My mom might have been a sweet talker, but she wasn’t a street walker.” Doctor Who,” the fictional character said, “In the end, all our lives are just stories. We may as well make them good ones.” My mom must have had a good story within her. One day she was counting, as she often did, I think because the math part of her brain remained strong, while other parts disintegrated. This particular day she added, “And that’s the end of my story.” But really, since I wrote about her, it was the beginning of her story. Ben Franklin said, “Either do something worth writing {about}, or write something worth reading,” and I hope, by taking care of my mom (with Hubby’s help), and then sharing our story, that I’ve done that.

Is there a particular goal or mission driving your creative journey?

There are so many people who find themselves, often unexpectedly, with the title of “caregiver,” that I wanted to share our experiences, to tell people they’re not alone. Caregiving often involves spinning several plates in the air at once, and it can feel overwhelming at times, but by taking 1 step at a time, I think we can keep our collective heads above water. I learned to make stress my ally, and not my adversary. For example, when I played tennis on a community league, surprisingly, that little bit of stress honed my skills, and I’ve tried to apply that in other stressful situations .When you’re a patient, your life often revolves around juggling doctors’ appointments with other work and family responsibilities, but I learned to wear many hats, as many of us have.

Contact Info:

• Twitter: rlynnbarnett1