We caught up with the brilliant and insightful Poiab Vue a few weeks ago and have shared our conversation below.

Alright, Poiab thanks for taking the time to share your stories and insights with us today. Can you open up about a risk you’ve taken – what it was like taking that risk, why you took the risk and how it turned out?

I grew up in a large family where I was the sixth child out of eight kids. I had six brothers and one sister. As far as I could remember, my mother drilled into me that my path in life was to grow up, get married, have kids, and lose myself and my identity as I serve my husband and his family. When my mother lived in the “old country” (Laos), she didn’t have a choice. She married young and didn’t get to choose her path in life. Even as a child, I would think that she would want more for me and for me to have the things that she didn’t have. However, since I grew up in a communal community where shame and losing face was the worst thing a family could do, especially a daughter, she wanted me to be like everyone else. As girls and daughters, we were restricted on what we could do. Our parents tried to limit us by telling us that we couldn’t go out and do anything and that our role was to come home to cook, clean, and take care of our family members. While on the other hand, the boys in our family were given and encouraged to go out and explore. Growing up, I saw many disparities and vowed to myself that I would never be oppressed by giving up my freedom to serve others. As a result, I challenged my parents’ authority and their beliefs. It was hard growing up in an environment where I was told that there was something wrong with me because I didn’t follow everyone else’s path. I had many doubts about myself, my worth, and who I was because most of my cousins started getting married and having children. Everyone, including society, told me that this was the happiest path for all women, and yet, when I looked at these women, they didn’t seem happy. They were tired, exhausted, and many had regrets that they fell into the pressure of being trapped. From there on, I knew that my life was meant for more than following the traditional route.

Awesome – so before we get into the rest of our questions, can you briefly introduce yourself to our readers.

As a daughter of refugees, I was taught to follow the safe and narrow path that will lead to stability and security. Nothing was more stable than working as a Social Worker. This work permitted me to work in various settings along with diverse populations. I was someone who tried to follow cultural rules and society’s expectations. I found herself always searching for more. I kept following everyone’s expectations but found that I was never satisfied. After many attempts and learning from those errors, I finally realized that only I could make myself happy by taking risks and accountability for my own life. So I took a leap and never thought that I would be here starting my own business.

In my field of work, my initial assumption was that others who may have come from a different cultural background, socioeconomic status, sexual orientation, or other forms of differences would not be relatable to one another. I was so wrong in my assumptions! The majority of my clients in therapy tend to be women. As I worked with these women, common themes that kept coming up from all the women I worked with were how tired they were in caring for others, the guilt, regret, and shame they experienced when they thought that they didn’t do enough or that they could have done more. The emotional burden of others that they took on and how their worth and value was based on what they can do for others. They felt lost, trapped, and unsatisfied because they were seeking validation from others.

Let’s talk about resilience next – do you have a story you can share with us?

I knew that in taking the risk of opening my own business, not everyone was going to be happy for me, especially friends and family members. Not everyone will support you when you decide that you no longer want to hustle, grind, be unhappy and finally have control of your life. There are going to be people who will try to scare and discourage you from taking a chance. In the end, I accepted that not everyone is going to have faith or believe in me but ultimately, I had to have faith in myself and believe that I can truly do it. I learned that it will take patience, lots of errors, and building your tribe, to help you through the tough days, weeks, and months. I wanted to create a life for myself that included being intentional, having control, and establishing new relationships that my previous job would never allow as I would be so busy seeing up to 30 clients a week. I no longer wanted to live by the mantra “work hard, play hard.” I knew that by taking this path, I can have a larger impact on people by choosing how hard I want to work versus being told how hard I need to work for someone else.

If you could go back, would you choose the same profession, specialty, etc.?

I often contemplate if I would choose this path again if I could go back. I use to think that I have no creativity or talents as I wasn’t artistic, good at math or science. After much reflection, I realize that I am in the right profession. My gift is to listen, be empathetic, heal trauma, and empower people to take back their lives and stop generational curses and traumas. My profession may not be the most financially lucrative but my starting my own business, it allows me to have more control of my life, the type of clients I want to work with, and also gives me the opportunities to conduct outreach and education about mental health. I have come so far that I wouldn’t trade this for anything!

Contact Info:

• Website: https://www.yourownpathwaytherapy.com/
• Instagram: @poiabvue
• Facebook: Your Own Pathway Therapy
• Linkedin: www.linkedin.com/in/poiab-vue-msw-licsw-0295ba184