We were lucky to catch up with Pentené Milner recently and have shared our conversation below.

Hi Pentené , thanks for joining us today. We’d love to hear about the best advice you’ve ever given to a client?

My way of advice is giving my clients the support and guidance to reach their clarity and awareness on where they feel stuck in their lives and situations. I bring them into their own inner-standing to create their own level of fulfillment.

I supported one of my clients in reaching her sense of clarity around feeling sad, hurt, and disappointed about what to do with a family relationship that she believed was using her and not feeling appreciated for all that she was doing for them. When I asked my client what was her desire for this relationship, she explained that she had hoped for them to have a growing and closer relationship that she felt was missing from her life. I then asked my client if everything she was doing for her family member was set on the expectation of this desire and that led my client to receiving a breakthrough on this situation. My client realized that she had unrealistic expectations when it came to what she hoped for and wanted to receive in return for all of the work she was putting in to change the dynamics of the relationship only to be a sacrificial lamb and end up without her own needs being met. It was essential that my client saw that even though she felt that she was looking out for her family member, she was really hoping to feel a void with the help of someone externally. In short, we co-created an action plan to let go of the expectations she had for this family member and to practice this lesson by releasing the expectations she has for herself around certain goals and focus on her own fulfillment without feeling like she needs to over-give and people please to satisfy her own needs. And to give herself the permission to be part of more reciprocated relationships by nurturing the relationship she has with herself first.

When we place our self-worth on how others treat us based on what we do and give to others, we miss the opportunity to be who we need to be to ourselves and recognize that our worth isn’t based on any external factors, but is something that comes naturally from within. Such a beautiful lesson for my client to learn and practice.

Great, appreciate you sharing that with us. Before we ask you to share more of your insights, can you take a moment to introduce yourself and how you got to where you are today to our readers.

Greetings to all of your amazing readers! I am Pentené and grateful to share a little about myself and life in this space. I’m a Certified Self-Worth and Alignment Coach, and a Wardrobe Healer. I love that those titles speak to who I am being, my life experiences, and my purpose(s) in this lifetime.

One of the darkest times of my life turned into one of the most awakening times of my life. I received my karmic lessons while experiencing divorce trauma and narcissistic abuse. In therapy, I learned that I suffered from abandonment issues that resulted in relationship trauma, lack of self-worth, over-giving, people pleasing, and a validation seeker. What I love about my journey is that all that I have experienced has led me to this path back to my true self and purpose. And I have been called to support others on their way back home to who they are too. One way is by guiding and supporting them to reclaim authority over their lives by taking back their personal power and freedom.

All while going through my divorce I started using my style and wardrobe as a healing tool in an act of self-love to embody and express myself freely and authentically. It became a great way for me to practice loving myself deeper and being intentional about how I show up and claim authority over my life. I began calling myself a Wardrobe Healer and started helping other women use their clothing as a tool to wardrobe their souls and activate their healing to become who they are meant to be. I empower them to dress with intention to harness their personal power and self-worth.

I eventually discovered an even deeper purpose by moving out of my comfort zone to become a Certified Self-Worth and Alignment Coach. I coach women (and can support men too) in rediscovering their worth, reclaiming authority over their lives, and aligning with their truth to create a fulfilling life. I lead my co-creating partnering clients to unleash their ultimate potential and reveal the highest expression of themselves to intentionally foster a healthy life. I empower them to tap into themselves to discover the answers they were called to remember within.

I have powerful programs to expand the consciousness of my clients into their inner power and help them receive clarity on where they feel stuck in their lives to move them toward their heart’s desires with ease. The intention and purpose of these programs are to empower them to unlock their greatest potential to reclaim authority over their life and reveal the highest expression of their authentic self to create fulfillment and sustainability. We cultivate heart centered practices that stimulate and elevate the mental, emotional, energetic, and spiritual aspects of themselves.

I am proud that I get to be/do this work with my soul alignment clients and partners to create a better world for us all starting with the inner world of ourselves. I’m grateful that my experiences and lessons continue to pave the way for me to be in an act of service in this way.

What’s a lesson you had to unlearn and what’s the backstory?

The lesson I had to unlearn is that when things happen to me that I believed was someone else’s fault or whenever I blamed someone else for what they did to me, I realized that I was removing myself from any accountability and responsibility which resulted in losing my personal power because I was giving it away by victimizing myself based on what I felt like others did to me that was wrong. I now see every relationship, and every relationship experience as an opportunity for me to learn about myself and where I need to grow. By not taking accountability and responsibility, I won’t learn the lesson that showed up for me to learn, integrate, and practice. People show up in my life based on who I am being to myself and the aspects of myself that I need to embrace and heal. Everything that we experience is an outward reflection of whatever is going on internally and that these experiences show up in our lives for us to evolve.

My divorce was really tough and was one of those experiences that really taught me a lot of lessons once I started to take accountability. I missed a lot of red flags in the beginning of this relationship because I was caught up in the fantasy I desired to fill a void from past trauma. I had to take self-responsibility and understand that the foundation of this relationship was rocky from the start because it was not grounded. It was based on the needs I wanted met externally that could only be met and fulfilled by me internally. This relationship experience taught me the lessons I was ready to learn, and evolve from.

Have you ever had to pivot?

The pivotal moment in my life was the moment my path shifted without my control. I quickly learned that I could no longer do things the same way I always did them. Whenever I did, I would always end up in a worse situation or back to square one. I realized that I needed to change how I was being in order to become who I was meant to be. I needed to change my ways for my personal development, growth, and self-revolution. My purpose wanted my attention and called me forward through this pivot. Everything that I used to do was outdated and caused stagnation in my life. I didn’t realize that my past experiences had only served me for the time it needed to. It was time for me to embrace how my past had served me, let go through surrendering, and make space to create and manifest a new life that served my highest purpose and good.

Contact Info:

• Website: https://coachingbypentene.com/
• Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/dualitycoach/
• Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/wardrobehealer
• Other: https://journeyyourstyle.com/