We were lucky to catch up with Paula McMillan-Perez recently and have shared our conversation below.

Paula, thanks for taking the time to share your stories with us today Setting up an independent practice is a daunting endeavor. Can you talk to us about what it was like for you – what were some of the main steps, challenges, etc.

If you would have asked me years ago if I would have been a business owner, I might have laughed. Honestly, it was not something that I gave serious thought to until I began to feel frustrated when I was working as a school social worker. The accessibility of services for not just my students and their families but for the educators who try to fill the gaps were not getting what they needed. I started Personalize Your Coaching, LLC in 2018 in an effort to support culturally responsive social-emotional learning in school communities that work with Black and Brown students in their communities.

I love my work and because I was able to expand from a traditional social workspace it also allowed me to see the significant impact that the COVID-19 pandemic has left on our society. It has increased the need for therapy services, especially in communities of color which historically lack equity access to culturally sensitive therapeutic providers who look like them. Similar to the reason that I began the first business, I saw a gap and felt that I could do something to close it. Personalize Your Therapy, LCSW, PLLC was that something.

Though I had started a business before, this one was different because while my target clients are the same service provision looks different, governing bodies and accountability look different and the way that I show up and show out as a social worker looks different as well. I am not someone who is a stranger to challenges so I set out to pace myself, write down all of the questions that I felt that I needed answers to in order to begin the process, spoke to trusted friends and colleagues who are private practice owners, and read A LOT.

Awesome – so before we get into the rest of our questions, can you briefly introduce yourself to our readers.

I am a licensed clinical social worker and psychotherapist who specializes in treating Anxiety & ADHD in adolescents and adults in New York and New Jersey. I treat individuals, couples, and groups both in person and virtually. In addition, I am also a certified mediator specializing in divorce and separation, child custody, parenting agreements, and immigration evaluations.

Prior to going into private practice, I was a school social worker for several years as well as served in different roles within community-based mental health and child welfare settings. A large part of the reason that I got into social work was that I was a kid who did not see people who looked like me in counseling or social work roles. I had the unfortunate experience of being told by many adults that I would not graduate high school, become pregnant, or any number of random statistics that are often times thrust upon Black and Brown folks. It was not until I was able to identify a provider who was from my own community and own culture did I really begin to feel seen. I was able to work on my own healing and begin to deepen my advocacy in destigmatizing mental health and wellness.

What sets me apart from others is that I am consistently my authentic self no matter the setting. Most of the people in my life both personally and professionally have expressed in different ways how it feels to not second guess the person they are speaking with. I am not afraid to say that I don’t know something and begin to take the steps to learn and circle back with that information. Knowledge is just the first step to making a change and we all know how hard that can be. So taking the journey with someone who is not afraid to dig deeper into the unknown or something that feels unfamiliar is someone I want to be with if I am stepping into new territory. I find that my clients respond greatly to that as sitting with yourself and your stuff is hard. Good thing they no longer have to once they partner with me on their healing journey.

Any stories or insights that might help us understand how you’ve built such a strong reputation?

I believe in connection and community both personally and professionally. Let’s say you asked me if I would recommend my dentist because you are looking for a new one, I would totally pass on the details. If you are being asked your thoughts or opinions on something you have built trust. When you are asked for a personal or professional recommendation not only do you have trust but enough knowledge to know if the energy or vibes will match between the person asking and the potential provider.

This is how I live my life and how I run my businesses. Of course, I want to earn a living but I also recognize that I have a few specialties and while I can treat and support outside of that, we all deserve a specialist in their field. We deserve the best so when asked, I share. If I don’t know then I will ask trusted colleagues within my referral networks. I will collaborate on causes that matter to me and the communities I serve and I will continue to challenge myself and others to rise.

Training and knowledge matter of course, but beyond that what do you think matters most in terms of succeeding in your field?

A major key to being successful in this field is to practice what you preach. Yes, it can be hard to consistently practice self-care or manage boundaries but if I am supporting and encouraging my clients to do this work, I must as well. If I am having communication struggles with my husband and I encourage my client to engage in an activity or discuss with them and I am not willing to do the same, where does that leave me as a professional?

Doing the work is hard no matter which side of the office you sit on, where you received your degree, or the ways you attained your life experience. The personal journey is a challenge, especially if you have some healing to do on your road. Plus, your clients know. They know when you are being your authentic self, they know if you are winging it and they know when you are not who you said you would be in that first session. Practicing what you preach is one of the best ways to best your best self no matter where you are in your journey.

Contact Info:

• Website: https://www.personalizeyourtherapy.com
• Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/personalizeyourtherapy_
• Linkedin: https://www.linkedin.com/in/paula-mcmillan-perez-lcsw/