We caught up with the brilliant and insightful Patricia Love a few weeks ago and have shared our conversation below.
Alright, Patricia thanks for taking the time to share your stories and insights with us today. So let’s jump to your mission – what’s the backstory behind how you developed the mission that drives your brand?
My mission “You Grow, We Give” is to help women “Be Better, Not Perfect” while giving back to those less fortunate. I vowed when I got back on my feet, and in a stable place to give back, I would find a safe, affordable option for women to grow while giving back. I wanted to give women a purpose and a reason to become their best selves. Our natural Instinct in life as humans is to help others, and when we knowingly help others to be better, we want to become better ourselves. So the App ConfidentU was born.
But it all started because of my story:
I’ll never forget the day I hit rock bottom. I remember being curled up on the floor in my home, completely broken, and wondering what to do with my life. It was 2009 and the Global Financial Crisis was really starting to bite.
I had been a successful Realtor for many years but suddenly I found myself with no money in the bank, no income, and a terrifying $140,000 in debt.
My Mom had recently passed away and my husband had left me for somebody else.
I was 57 years old, devastated, overweight, and lost. What was I supposed to do now?
Everything I’d worked so hard for and sacrificed so much for, had slipped away.
In truth, ‘slipped away’ is an understatement. I felt as if my life had been swamped by a tsunami and everything I understood about myself, and about my life, had been carried away in a heartbeat. I’ll admit, I wallowed for a while. I felt like a victim.
And I knew what it was to be a victim because, in my twenties, I had twice been the victim of rape Once by a stranger with a gun and once by a boyfriend who beat me up and put me in the hospital.
So, when everything fell apart for me in my mid-50s, I felt again the wave of despair, helplessness, and powerlessness that I’d felt all those years before. It all came rushing back with a power that took my breath away. But I also remembered that feeling like a victim, and living like a victim, hadn’t worked for me in my twenties and it sure as hell wasn’t going to work for me in my fifties.
Let’s face it, at 57, I had less time in front of me than was behind me. I couldn’t afford to wait until things ‘got better.’ I had to act right then and there before my future ran out on me.
So …I picked myself up off that floor and took a long hard look in the mirror.
It was time to get real …
I had worked hard to be successful, to be valued, loved, and appreciated. I’d given my all to improve the lives of the people around me. But I’d been like the proverbial beautiful swan, serene and unruffled on the surface…And paddling madly and desperately underneath.
The harder I tried to make everything perfect … the quicker it slipped through my fingers … until it became that tsunami that swept everything away and I was left with nothing.
Being the top saleswoman in my company didn’t keep me from falling into debt
Making a ton of money didn’t keep my husband by my side
Wearing beautiful clothes didn’t make me feel beautiful
Working hard to make others happy, didn’t bring me the happiness I wanted
Being successful in business didn’t make me feel successful in life
Smiling on the outside didn’t make me smile on the inside …
It was all a sham. A mask I had put on years before and had forgotten how to take off. A mask I couldn’t afford for anyone to see behind, But when everything was stripped away … there was only me, myself and I.
And that I was enough. I had to be enough!
14 years on, I look back at that tsunami with gratitude, appreciation, and wonder.
The fever pitch of emotion and the extreme pressure of that time created the perfect conditions to break me open and reveal the real me within.
But everything is different …
I’m no longer that swan paddling desperately beneath the surface to stay upright.
Now I glide through life with a feeling of ease.
I DISCOVERED ME! … I stepped off the hamster wheel that I had been running on for so long, I acknowledged my mistakes and replaced them with more positive behaviors, which allowed me to release the worry that people would see through the mask. This resulted in me feeling, that I didn’t need to prove myself to anyone!
I worked hard to discover myself, but it was worth it, as now I can look in the mirror and see myself in all my brilliance, I learned to love myself, and all my imperfections.
I now make “My Mess, My Message”
Awesome – so before we get into the rest of our questions, can you briefly introduce yourself to our readers.
My mission “You Grow, We Give” is to help women “Be Better, Not Perfect” while giving back to those less fortunate. I vowed when I got back on my feet, and in a stable place to give back, I would find a safe, affordable option for women to grow while giving back. I wanted to give women a purpose and a reason to become their best selves. Our natural Instinct in life as humans is to help others, and when we knowingly help others to be better, we want to become better ourselves. So the App ConfidentU was born.
I am here to make a difference in women’s lives. To build on their own confidence, resilience, and focus. To be the best they can be…Because of my own personal story.
Through my years in sales, I have learned that people want to leave a legacy, and that doesn’t mean money necessarily, they want to show their kids and grandkids that there is joy in life, but that we have to find that joy from within before we can spread joy to others.
I am proud of how far I come in life, even with all my struggles and traumas that created obstacles…and how I didn’t let obstacles or detours stop me from growing and becoming a better person.
Every day is a fresh new day. and I am proud of my work in retail, and in the real estate industry throughout the years. But now I have a new path, and that path came from all the lessons I have learned from the past.
This brought me to building my App ConfidentU A “High Touch” App for women and to giving back with my “You Grow, We Give” Impact initiative. This is what makes ConfidentU different. It is not just another App, it is an App with Cause-Fidence and heart. An App of Giving, while you Grow.
A community of women who want to be better, but with a purpose. Being “High Touch” also makes it different from other Apps. The App is affordable but with real-time interactive coaching and weekly discussions, along with access to other monthly audio and classes and more.
I am proud of what I am doing and only want to make my App better, and that is through constantly asking my members what they want. I strive to be better every day. Not Perfect.
Patricia Love
Founder of the App ConfidentU
Let’s talk about resilience next – do you have a story you can share with us?
My Resilience story is my life every day…but the best comeback story is where it all began.
I’ll never forget the day I hit rock bottom. I remember being curled up on the floor in my home, completely broken, and wondering what to do with my life. It was 2009 and the Global Financial Crisis was really starting to bite.
I had been a successful Realtor for many years but suddenly I found myself with no money in the bank, no income, and a terrifying $140,000 in debt.
My Mom had recently passed away and my husband had left me for somebody else.
I was 57 years old, devastated, overweight, and lost. What was I supposed to do now?
Everything I’d worked so hard for and sacrificed so much for, had slipped away.
In truth, ‘slipped away’ is an understatement. I felt as if my life had been swamped by a tsunami and everything I understood about myself, and about my life, had been carried away in a heartbeat. I’ll admit, I wallowed for a while. I felt like a victim.
And I knew what it was to be a victim because, in my twenties, I had twice been the victim of rape Once by a stranger with a gun and once by a boyfriend who beat me up and put me in the hospital.
So, when everything fell apart for me in my mid-50s, I felt again the wave of despair, helplessness, and powerlessness that I’d felt all those years before. It all came rushing back with a power that took my breath away. But I also remembered that feeling like a victim, and living like a victim, hadn’t worked for me in my twenties and it sure as hell wasn’t going to work for me in my fifties.
Let’s face it, at 57, I had less time in front of me than was behind me. I couldn’t afford to wait until things ‘got better.’ I had to act right then and there before my future ran out on me.
So …I picked myself up off that floor and took a long hard look in the mirror.
It was time to get real …
I had worked hard to be successful, to be valued, loved, and appreciated. I’d given my all to improve the lives of the people around me. But I’d been like the proverbial beautiful swan, serene and unruffled on the surface…And paddling madly and desperately underneath.
The harder I tried to make everything perfect … the quicker it slipped through my fingers … until it became that tsunami that swept everything away and I was left with nothing.
Being the top saleswoman in my company didn’t keep me from falling into debt
Making a ton of money didn’t keep my husband by my side
Wearing beautiful clothes didn’t make me feel beautiful
Working hard to make others happy, didn’t bring me the happiness I wanted
Being successful in business didn’t make me feel successful in life
Smiling on the outside didn’t make me smile on the inside …
It was all a sham. A mask I had put on years before and had forgotten how to take off. A mask I couldn’t afford for anyone to see behind, But when everything was stripped away … there was only me, myself and I.
And that I was enough. I had to be enough!
14 years on, I look back at that tsunami with gratitude, appreciation, and wonder.
The fever pitch of emotion and the extreme pressure of that time created the perfect conditions to break me open and reveal the real me within.
But everything is different …
I’m no longer that swan paddling desperately beneath the surface to stay upright.
Now I glide through life with a feeling of ease.
I DISCOVERED ME! … I stepped off the hamster wheel that I had been running on for so long, I acknowledged my mistakes and replaced them with more positive behaviors, which allowed me to release the worry that people would see through the mask. This resulted in me feeling, that I didn’t need to prove myself to anyone!
I worked hard to discover myself, but it was worth it, as now I can look in the mirror and see myself in all my brilliance, I learned to love myself, and all my imperfections.
I now make “My Mess, My Message”
We often hear about learning lessons – but just as important is unlearning lessons. Have you ever had to unlearn a lesson?
I had to learn the lesson of acknowledgment. Throughout my life, I felt I had to show a strong outside, so I began wearing a mask. the smiling girl that was always positive, yet when I was alone, or there was a ripple in my life, I became a runner.
Never acknowledging my own negative behaviors, because owning my own truth was something I didn’t want to accept…so I would just stuff my feelings in my bag and keep running forward. Until one day that baggage exploded…and all the feelings came flooding out onto the floor.
That’s when I knew I had to make a change…that I was just repeating the same old behaviors and getting the same results…I needed to acknowledge my negatives along with the positives….I had to take control of my life and take my power back. So I did. One day, one step at a time….sometimes following back, but never giving up…because I knew I didn’t want to go back to where I was…the bottom!
Every day there are obstacles, but when you open your mind, and heart, and decide to “change the way you look at things, the things you look at change” Wayne Dyer
Contact Info:
- Website: https://patricialove.com
- Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/coachpatricialove/
- Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/coachpatricialove/
- Linkedin: https://www.linkedin.com/in/lovepatricia/
Image Credits
mine