We’re excited to introduce you to the always interesting and insightful Parthi B. Patel. We hope you’ll enjoy our conversation with Parthi B. below.

Hi Parthi B., thanks for joining us today. What’s the kindest thing anyone has ever done for you?

It wasn’t just one action, but one continuous action that stood true through everything good and bad. That one continuous action? Support.

Through my professional work and specializing in South Asian cultures, I am constantly aware of the conditional love that can come from immigrant parents and how difficult it is to function in a box that was built for you before birth. I understand what it feels to function in a box you were forced into and to be or do anything outside of those lines went deeper than just disappointment. It was a reinforcement of the lesson I later talk about – others’ expectations of me are my responsibility.

I experience all of these emotions and more and I still consider myself lucky. My parents have stood by the action of support at every single disturbance, rift, or wrong turn. They weren’t perfect but they never left. They did what they knew best based on what they received. Looking from that perspective, where does that blame go? I talk a lot about generational trauma in my work and I am reminded that despite my own struggles of being a first-generation Indian American, generations before me [whether they recognize it or not] have their own struggles. The blame is systematic versus on just one person.

Over the years, as therapy has introduced itself more in the South Asian cultures, my parents have continued to learn, communicate and adapt to changes — implementing and balancing between the American and Hindu ways. It wasn’t easy for me and I can imagine it wasn’t easy for my parents. What I can say for a fact is – it was definitely harder for them. Support looked different in each unique situation. But what mattered most was knowing that whatever decision I took, I can look back and they would still be there. They were there, regardless of how it looked to society or feeling differently about my decision. They were always there. They provided a constant, allowing me to take risks and opportunities I may not have taken without it. I wish I knew it while it was happening, but hey I see it now!

I encourage everyone to provide their loved ones with [healthy] support. The value of support is underrated – it encourages, empowers. and challenges. Without their support, I wouldn’t have taken the risks I did and be where I am now or 20yrs from now.

Great, appreciate you sharing that with us. Before we ask you to share more of your insights, can you take a moment to introduce yourself and how you got to where you are today to our readers?

I am the owner of a Dallas-based private practice – Intentional Therapy. I offer [Telehealth/walk & talk] mental health services from a holistic and realistic perspective. I specialize in working with adolescents/teens and women who -struggle with anxiety, depression, trauma, LGTBQ+ related issues, and multicultural issues with an emphasis on South Asian cultures. Intentional Therapy was built on the foundation of providing quality mental health services and seeing clients for their realistic potential, while also adjusting to the ever-so-changing world.

In my last semester of undergraduate school, I felt I wasn’t ready to “adult”. I applied to graduate school because what made senes was if I stay in school, I don’t have to adult. I went to graduate school in Tyler, TX & it was a bit of a culture shock. I struggled to fit into what was said to be “American” all my life and now being in the Bible Belt of Texas just emphasized that message. By this time, I [thought] had a good understanding of mental health and what therapy was. My own therapeutic experience challenged me to look at what exactly I needed from a therapist, but I came to realize that regardless of one having cultural-sensitive training wasn’t enough. I may not be experiencing exactly as my client is, but I can provide understanding and connection through communication and vulnerability.

I consider myself to be a non-traditional therapist and find that it is what sets me apart. My identity as a first-generation Indian American and a woman of color allows for my ability to connect with humans to be on a deeper level, creating space for authenticity and growth. I find that it is best to connect with my client with a balance of personal and professional expertise. Through my own therapeutic experience, I have the strength to understand, empower, and challenge my clients. I want my clients to embrace discomfort and vulnerability to recognize growth and live their most authentic life.

What’s been the most effective strategy for growing your clientele?

Word of mouth! Marketing is an effective strategy for many businesses to grow their clientele and I do believe it has helped me in mine – advertising on mental health groups, directories, websites. Admittedly, I am not a social media person and I am working to improve! I have been really lucky to say most of my clientele growth comes from word of mouth.

We often hear about learning lessons – but just as important is unlearning lessons. Have you ever had to unlearn a lesson?

Through my own work, I have recognized two lessons I’ve learned as a child: other’s expectations of me is my responsibility + being busy is a badge of honor.

South Asian culture revolves around “one upping” another family or person. I look back now and can recognize ways I had to adjust my behaviors and personality just to impress. If I wasn’t meeting expectations based on what others thought was acceptable, I should be doing better BECAUSE others expected more of me. But can one set an expectation of you without seeing what you are actually capable of?

Unrealistic expectation that were directly and indirectly created for me, forced me to continue pushing myself to do more. Not because I thought was capable but because I was expected to. Because of that I learned my second lesson: being busy is a badge of honor. Both lessons, I am still unlearning today.

In a way, I find myself grateful. Would I have pushed through just as hard had others not expected more of me? Or would more compassion and patience allowed me to be kinder to myself and still create what would have then been a realistic expectation? What I know now is that someone else’s expectations of me is NOT my responsibility, I get to determine that. What I am learning now is being busy isn’t a badge of honor and it’s okay to be still.

Contact Info:

• Website: https://www.intentionaltherapydtx.com/
• Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/intentionaltherapydtx/
• Other: Pinterest: https://www.pinterest.com/intentionaltherapydtx/

Image Credits
Personal Photo – Always Have Hope Photography by Shanelle Hope