We caught up with the brilliant and insightful Paolina Milana a few weeks ago and have shared our conversation below.
Alright, Paolina thanks for taking the time to share your stories and insights with us today. So, naming is such a challenge. How did you come up with the name of your brand?
Life has a funny way of getting in the way of our plans, doesn’t it? For me, that has meant a lot of things. Early on, it meant not being able to be “just a kid” because my childhood necessitated me helping to care for a mom and a sister, both diagnosed with paranoid schizophrenia. Later in my life, it meant climbing a corporate ladder only to realize I had propped it up to get to a role that didn’t really fit all of me. With every plot twist life would throw my way, I seemed to have a knack for not letting it keep me stuck for long; instead, I’d use it as a stepping stone, pretty quickly reimagining my circumstances and writing my way to next steps and to where I was meant to be. Case in point: I had left my hometown of Chicago to pursue a dream in Los Angeles, but things hadn’t gone as I had planned. Four years after arriving, I found myself living like a pauper in a rough North Hollywood apartment, earning $40K/year, and wondering what had happened to me because “this wasn’t my life.” So I wrote down on paper what I DID envision for myself, right down to “a house in the hills with more windows than walls…” Long story short: In 2005, I stumbled upon the home that was exactly what I had dreamt up, and within days, I bought it, a half-million dollar house, without much of a clue on how I’d pay my mortgage. (Spoiler alert: I went with my heart, totally unplanned, and life met me more than half-way; I’m still in that house today.)
The name for my company – MADNESS TO MAGIC – was actually given to me in 2017 during a trip to Africa I had taken with life coach and author Martha Beck as a participant in her STAR program. She is the one who was first to point out how magical I was, despite whatever madness surrounded me. It’s a great name and fits me and the coaching services I offer to others… whether that’s inspiring them to take steps they can’t quite yet see themselves toward their dreams, or helping them to finally turn the stories from their own lives into books that inspire others. There’s always magic to be found in whatever madness we may find ourselves in.
Paolina, before we move on to more of these sorts of questions, can you take some time to bring our readers up to speed on you and what you do?
I always tell myself and my clients: Your life isn’t a fairytale, but you ARE the hero of your own story.
THAT is how I approach the work I do and the problems I solve for my clients.
For some people, that means helping them tell their own stories. Too often, we’ve so many stories from our lives that we don’t have clarity on what our story actually is, or how to start turning stories from our lives into a book, or how to finally finish writing that book we’ve started for what feels like the millionth time. So I provide book coaching and ghostwriting services.
For other clients, their problems have to do with feeling stuck in their lives, whether it’s in terms of caring for others, or a general feeling of overwhelm with where they’re at and where they want to be, or they’re in a career transition, or they’re wanting to find that special someone…every person has their own madness to contend with, and I help people learn how to find the magic that in turn, gets them unstuck and onto the path of where they’re wanting to be.
What sets me apart from others? I’ve been a storyteller my entire life, having started out as a features reporter for a daily newspaper in the Midwest. My work has won awards, and I’ve written for LifeHack, Inc., Muse and others. I’m a published author with four of my five books having won awards. I’ve climbed the corporate ladder and have been one of the only females seated in the C-suite of companies. I’ve reinvented myself several times over. I’ve gone through the pain of losing a loved one, of being laid off, fired and dumped. I’ve been broke, burned out, and have hit rock bottom…and still, I rise. I have lived a lot of life, and I have overcome adversity in ways that elevate me and, through my coaching, others.
There’s a lot that I’m proud of, but if you ask for one thing I’m MOST proud of, it’s the fact that I’ve learned to embrace all of me…the good, the bad, and everything in between. I’m not perfect, I’ve fallen apart and applied gold dust to the cracks in me, and it’s okay…it’s all part of who I am. I’ve lived my favorite mantra well: “Be Bold and Mighty Forces Shall Come to Your Aid,” and I love helping others do the same. People often tell me things they’ve never shared with others (they barely allow themselves to acknowledge these things)…I’m proud that the clients who come to me feel safe with me, no matter what their stories might be.
How about pivoting – can you share the story of a time you’ve had to pivot?
I had a great life in Chicago with a career that started out in copy writing, and then morphed into writing feature stories for a daily newspaper, and then evolved into working at more creative outlets with video and creating other forms of content. From the outside looking in, I seemed to be living the dream. And I was to some extent. But my dream included what other people didn’t see: My personal life at home where I served as primary caregiver to a mom and a sister, both diagnosed with paranoid schizophrenia. I was living a life of obligation and was losing myself in the process. The unexpected death of my dad left me grieving in silence and suffocating from depression. I couldn’t see my way out, yet through a twist of fate, I was introduced to a woman who would become my therapist for longer than a decade. I had thought that if you sought out help, it meant you were weak and you couldn’t do it on your own. I was wrong. Seeking out help proved to be EMPOWERING. I had choices, despite the madness of my life, I had a lot of magic and the power to take myself to where I really wanted to be…I just needed someone to help me see what at that time I couldn’t see myself. My dream for me was bigger and scarier than staying stuck where I was, but I couldn’t ignore the calling. Something in me kept urging me to take a leap of faith, and so, I did.
In March of 2001, I gave myself permission to leave everyone and everything I had ever known and to pursue my dream of starting a new life in California where I knew no one and had nothing. I listened to that small voice inside of me, no matter how illogical it seemed, and, once again, I serendipitously connected with next steps…in this case, a stranger – a 95-year old woman – who would give me my own place to live for free in exchange for running errands and helping her feel safe in her home at night. I was 60 years her junior when I met her, and I’ll never forget all that she taught me and made possible for me as I completely pivoted both my personal and professional life without a “sure thing” waiting to catch me if I were to fall. (Spoiler alert: I didn’t fall; instead, I soared, winning a couple of screenplay competitions, meeting and marrying my husband, writing and publishing five books, becoming a VP and Chief Marketing Officer for a couple of companies, and, ultimately, building the business I have today.)
We often hear about learning lessons – but just as important is unlearning lessons. Have you ever had to unlearn a lesson?
I think the lesson I have had to unlearn is that of believing that I am my title and my paycheck and my affiliation with whatever brand I work for. I had thought that who I was was largely due to the jobs I held. I had assumed that people only listened to me because I was somebody associated with a brand. Everything about my identity had become wrapped up in what I did for a living…having that big office, big paycheck, big staff, big voice to make decisions, big public face and platforms to speak from, etc., etc. It wasn’t me…I wasn’t powerful…it was the company I represented. And life — I thought — was all about the destination. That’s what I believed. And in 2017. that theory would be tested.
While my personal life as a caregiver was one filled with the unpredictable (always waiting for the other shoe to drop if my mom or my sister were to stop taking their meds and end up back in the hospital, for example), my professional life was something I always felt was on solid ground and secure. But “people make plans and God laughs” because 2017 was the year I got fired from my job as a Chief Marketing Officer after a little less than three years in the role. I felt blind-sided. I still remember the words of my CEO as she unceremoniously dismissed me: “I have no issue with your productivity, your ethics, your creativity…I just don’t think you fit the culture here any longer.” She was right…the culture wasn’t aligned with my beliefs and proved to be quite toxic from day one. It just wasn’t fun. And, yet, I was determined to fix what I knew was broken there (in great part for the awesome staff who deserved better) despite the toll it was taking on my health. After I was walked out (an experience I don’t wish on anyone who gives their all to a company), I felt like a failure, no longer connected to that brand and having lost my purpose.
Who was I if I didn’t have a business card with a brand’s logo spelling it out…? And what now…? I thought I had “arrived”! For a while, I kept thinking, “I used to be somebody…now who am I?”
As is usual for me, in times of madness, I turn to writing to help me find again the magic. Writing is therapeutic. Writing can heal whatever wounds us. This time, that small voice inside of me whispered that I still was me, and I’ve always been me; it sparked within me a desire to get back to the core of me, the one who loved to play and personified magic.
That year, I wrote “Seriously! Are We THERE Yet?!” an illustrated rhyming romp that addressed the “shoulda, coulda, wouldas” that we grownups often have. The book helps us unlearn things like “there’s only one path” and “there’s a right way and a wrong way” and that “life’s a destination” and so much more. It’s designed to help us reconnect and live life like a kid again…full of wonder and excitement and FUN.
The book “Seriously! Are We THERE Yet?!” is clearly hitting home with readers. Here’s just a few of the reviews:
>>> “Seriously! Are We There Yet?! is here to remind you of the power to course-correct along your journey by embracing new choices, beliefs and actions. This book will guide you back to your heart – it’s a gem!”- Nancy Levin, author of Setting Boundaries Will Set You Free.
>>> “I’d love to take this book and put it in front of about a dozen people who take life WAY too seriously and need a new perspective. This book is like taking a new drug (that actually works).” – Joe Pulizzi, Founder of Content Marketing Institute, and Amazon bestselling author of Content, Inc. and The Will to Die.
>>> 5.0 out of 5 stars: “Perfect Timing. I was doing a search for books about feeling lost and where to go next… This book popped up by fate it does seem.”
>>> 5.0 out of 5 stars: “This book is for anybody at midlife and beyond..This book articulated just about every thought I’ve had since turning 45…8 years ago. I believe every one of us gets to a point where we ask “Is this it?” If you want a fun (and meaningful) pick-me-up I recommend this book.”
Unlearning that there’s some finish line to cross in this life and that we are only as powerful as the brands we’re associated with is what I finally unlearned. Living life in the moment and loving the journey is what I relearned. And spoiler alert: It’s THE way we find the magic, no matter what the madness…it’s like Dorothy in the Wizard of Oz: Your power isn’t outside of you, reliant on others. And there is no destination or one place where you’ll find your happiness. It’s you. Inside of you. You always had it in you…you just have to learn that for yourself. And life’s at the ready giving us every opportunity to learn the lesson.
Contact Info:
- Website: https://madnesstomagic.com/
- Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/paolina.milana/
- Linkedin: https://www.linkedin.com/in/paolinamilana/
Image Credits
Jennifer Carrillo Photography