Alright – so today we’ve got the honor of introducing you to Pam Baker. We think you’ll enjoy our conversation, we’ve shared it below.

Pam, looking forward to hearing all of your stories today. What’s been the most meaningful project you’ve worked on?

The most meaningful project that I’ve worked on so far is Widows Who Wine. Widows Who Wine was launched in February of 2023. I lost my husband, Jon, to glioblastoma in November of 2021 and found the resources for navigating my new path as a widow to be sorely lacking. Pretty much everything out there revolved around church grief groups, which do serve a purpose, but they weren’t what I needed. I did give those groups a solid try, but ultimately decided to work on my grief recovery by myself.

In January of 2023, I saw a post from a young widow on a Facebook page that I follow. She was looking for resources and every single reply to her post were those same church-based grief groups. It got me thinking that maybe I wasn’t the only one looking for something different. I started thinking about what it was that would speak to me and I pretty quickly decided that being around women with a shared experience who wanted to find a path back to joy was what would really be interesting to have. When I get an idea, I become slightly obsessed until I manage to vet it all out in my mind, but this one didn’t take long once the seed was planted. I wanted a name that would reflect the social aspect and spark a little fun in what we do and I thought Widows Who Wine had a nice ring to it!

I find it so meaningful, because every single time we get together, whether through our formal, monthly gatherings or with smaller, special interest outings, at least one of our members tell me that Widows Who Wine has offered them a life line when they really needed it. Some have even said that our group has literally saved their lives and there’s nothing more meaningful than that, is there?

Pam, love having you share your insights with us. Before we ask you more questions, maybe you can take a moment to introduce yourself to our readers who might have missed our earlier conversations?

Back in 2002, my oldest son, Gavin, was diagnosed with cystic fibrosis, A few weeks later, his little brother, 6 months in utero, was also diagnosed through amniocentesis. When my husband and I were given what was essentially death sentences for both of our children, we almost immediately jumped in the world of fund and awareness raising, which felt like our only chance of both personal survival and the survival of our boys. Neither of us had ever spent a single minute in that world, but we soon realized that we were pretty good at it. We became the #1 fundraising team in Georgia that first year and, to this day, remain one of the top fundraising teams in the country. So far, we, along with our countless supporters, have raised over $7M. I have also been honored to serve in many leadership roles within the Cystic Fibrosis Foundation both locally and nationally.

I share that backstory because I truly believe that my work with the CFF gave me the skills I needed to launch Widows Who Wine. It almost feels like my cystic fibrosis journey served as my training wheels for this next chapter in my story. No one who knows me now will believe it, but I am, by nature, a shy, introverted person. My work in the cf world allowed me to hone my skills as a leader, a public speaker, a creative thinker, a connector and a doer. In turn, those skills offered the opportunity for me to fill a need that I personally felt in the widow realm, see the need for others, brainstorm a new way to support widows and then actually act on the ideas.

It’s interesting being a widow. The grief is so heavy in the beginning and there is so much support from family and friends. Eventually, everyone goes back to living, as they should, but when it’s OUR turn to go back to living, things get weird. It feels weird to socialize. It feels weird to have fun. It feels weird to be a third wheel all the time. It feels really weird to laugh. People are weird because they don’t know how to act around you or what to say. It really feels like a widow has to always be ready to comfort others when your partner is mentioned or pretend that he never existed to avoid the inevitable social buzz-kill or feel like everyone is staring at you just waiting for a full on meltdown, or, my favorite, feel guilty for having a momentary lapse in the river of grief by having one single moment of joy.

Widows Who Wine has changed that, though. We have women in our group from ages 30-80. Some have been widows for only a couple of months while others have almost two decades under their belts, so literally all ages and stages of the journey. One phrase that I often hear is “it’s just so easy to go and do things with this group – it’s like I can actually breathe.” I just love to step back at any of our social events and just scan the scene. It’s an incredible feeling to watch everyone leaning back into life, building friendships and really having FUN again. Creating the space for that to happen brings me such joy and is something that I am really pretty proud of.

Is there mission driving your creative journey?

I think that many people still have an antiquated view of what a widow looks like. The little granny sitting on the front porch in her rocking chair isn’t actually a thing. I suppose it could be a thing, but I haven’t seen anyone that fits that description in my group! Widows Who Wine is full of incredible, smart, ambitious, generous, amazing, FUN women who still have a lot of living to do. My goal with WWW is to reach as many women as possible and offer them a space to connect with others, start living their lives again and have fun doing it.

Can you share a story from your journey that illustrates your resilience?

My life has been full of resilience-building life lessons. I’m actually quite fascinated by the concept and often wonder if one builds resilience over the years or is naturally inclined to be a resilient person. Personally, I think it’s a little bit of both.

Contact Info:

• Website: https://www.shamrockinforacure.com/
• Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/bakereed/?hl=en
• Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/pam.r.baker.5
• Linkedin: https://www.linkedin.com/in/pam-baker-12ab46222/

Image Credits
Magazine Cover photo taken by Armetrice Photography