We’re excited to introduce you to the always interesting and insightful Onnie Michalsky. We hope you’ll enjoy our conversation with Onnie below.

Alright, Onnie thanks for taking the time to share your stories and insights with us today. So let’s jump to your mission – what’s the backstory behind how you developed the mission that drives your brand?

Supermoms are everywhere. You know the type- chauffeuring their kids to every class and lesson around town, bringing Pinterest-worthy treats to their kids’ classrooms, planning and organizing elaborate birthday parties, orchestrating playdates and making sure that their child excels in all areas.

They are doing it all, both out in the community and in their homes! But, at what expense? These same moms have put themselves in the background of their own lives in their pursuit to be the best moms ever. And they are great moms, but they are struggling to stay afloat. They strive for perfection and want to make sure everyone is happy and comfortable, but inside, they are driven by feelings of inadequacy and a skewed definition of what makes a mom “good.”

Having put themselves on the backburner, they slowly disconnect from their partners. Resentment grows and supermoms often get to the point of contemplating divorce because over the years of doing it all, their partners have responded by stepping back from adulting at all. With an unrealistic, ever-growing to-do list, supermoms have lost their ability to simply be.

Raised cortisol levels, increased anxiety, poor boundaries, and emotional exhaustion are only a few of the symptoms that supermoms experience. I know this, because I am a supermom. Or actually, a recovering supermom.

I created Moms Without Capes as a way to help supermoms realize their true superpowers. It’s not in accomplishing their to-do list, but rather it’s by slowing down and learning how to be present in the moment. It’s in carving out space for themselves and strengthening their boundaries. Moms are at their best when they reconnect with their own sense of self within motherhood instead of trying to take care of everything and everyone else.

Onnie, before we move on to more of these sorts of questions, can you take some time to bring our readers up to speed on you and what you do?

As a mother of six, I struggled with supermom syndrome for years. I felt guilty for doing anything that didn’t revolve around my family and I had a growing resentment towards my husband who seemed to be able to carry on with his hobbies and interests while I took care of everything else. In 2003, I earned my Masters in Counseling and then after working at a domestic violence agency for a year, I became a stay-at-home-mother for the next 14 years. Through those years, I owned a few different businesses including a job-matching service, a little girls’ dance company, a fitness business, and a motel.

In 2017, I decided to go for licensure in my state and do the work I needed to become a licensed therapist. Concurrently, I was certified as a Health Coach through the American Council on Exercise. In 2019, when I was fully licensed, I decided to leave the community mental health agency I was working at and start my own business. Without a plan, I hired a business coach and began my newest journey as an entrepreneur.

At first, I focused on weight loss, because of my own journey I had indeed lost a lot of weight, but that didn’t feel right. Plus, the stress of owning my own business led me to have my own struggles with my weight and so I backed up, did some journaling and self-reflection and realized that the only way I had been able to lose weight and go to a Zumba class, go for runs, and cook healthy meals is because I started giving myself permission to do so.

For the first ten years as a mom, I took horrible care of myself. I put everyone else’s needs above my own and used excuses like “I don’t have time” and “I have too much I need to do”- these excuses kept me from engaging in self-care and prevented me from getting off the back burner. It wasn’t until I intentionally started doing things for myself and putting myself further up on my to-do list that I was able to get healthier and step into joy. Essentially, I had to hang up my supermom cape! Hence, Moms Without Capes was born!

Five years later, I have a growing private practice where I see mothers one-on-one in a clinical setting. To qualify for counseling, clients must meet the criteria for a mental health disorder, such as depression or anxiety. I work mainly from a Cognitive-Behavioral perspective which means we do a lot of exploration into the beliefs and thoughts fueling the supermom behaviors that support anxiety and depression.

For mothers who do not meet the criteria for a mental health disorder or would like to supplement their work with me, I offer other services including a book club where we read books about personal development, motherhood, and mental health. Those interested can join the Moms Without Capes Facebook community where I host monthly meet-ups, masterclasses, and fun challenges or they can tune into the Moms Without Capes Podcast and get practical strategies to reclaim their sense of self beyond motherhood.

Have you ever had to pivot?

Oh my- I have had to pivot so many times throughout my life. Every time I had a child, it required a pivot. I suppose the biggest pivot so far has been when we moved across the country from the Philadelphia area to a small town in Montana. It took a long time to get acclimated to the new culture and way of life. We had been homeschooling our children and so that provided consistency, as we continued to do so upon arriving in MT. But when we got here, I was a SAHM and my husband was looking for a new job and of course, we needed to find a place to live.

I saw an ad for a hotel for sale in the local newspaper about a hundred miles away from our intended destination. We went and looked at it, put an offer in, and before we knew it, we were moving into a hotel that we owned. It was the craziest thing we ever did and as it turns out our leap of faith supported us through the next 11 years. We met some great friends in that town and learned a lot about ourselves during those years. We kept saying we should write a book, but we were too busy raising our children and running a business to sit down and write out the stories that were happening around us.

The experience we had moving across the country was a stressful one but it was one of those things that doesn’t make sense until you look in hindsight. I would say that it was a pivotal point in my life and one that has influenced my career, the way I parent, and who I am to this day.

What’s worked well for you in terms of a source for new clients?

Because coaching and counseling has its similarities, there was a time when I struggled to differentiate between my two businesses- yes, I have two businesses. MT Therapy for Moms is my counseling practice and Moms Without Capes is my “fun” business- where I get to let my creativity run free. For ethical and legal purposes, I separated the two entities. After five years, I think I am finally coming to an understanding about how I can use one to compliment the others in a way that best serves supermoms.

My counseling practice is where I see women who require clinical treatment and we work on specific skills aimed at bringing my clients back to an acceptable level of functioning. Through Moms Without Capes, I guide women to a place of thriving, helping them lighten the mental and physical loads of parenting, strengthen their boundaries, let go of perfectionistic and people=pleasing tendencies, and rewrite the unrealistic expectations that keep them holding onto their supermom cape.

I have found that the best source of new clients has been Google. I have strived to increase the number of reviews I get from previous clients and use social media to showcase testimonials and reviews I get from both paying clients and women who have been helped by my many services. I enjoy using social media and so through my podcast and FB Lives, as well as creating helpful resources, my goal is to serve other mothers and help them recognize that they are worthy of prioritizing.

Contact Info:

• Website: https://www.momswithoutcapes.com
• Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/momswithoutcapes
• Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/momswithoutcapes
• Linkedin: https://www.linkedin.com/in/onnie-michalsky
• Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/@momswithoutcapes

Image Credits

Photos taken by Onnie Michalsky
Event photos taken by Jason Michalsky, Jr