We’re excited to introduce you to the always interesting and insightful Nikki Soulsby. We hope you’ll enjoy our conversation with Nikki below.

Hi Nikki, thanks for joining us today. Let’s go back in time a bit – can you share a story of a time when you learned an important lesson during your education?

My first ever college class was “Hitler/Stalin” with Dr. John Ashbrook. On the first day, he strolled to the front of the room- mid-40s, handlebar mustache, curly hair fluffed out around his ears, tie-dye T-shirt, nose ring, and small owlish glasses. Within minutes I knew this wasn’t a “normal” class. He was funny, a little irreverent, and an instigator of debates.

The expectation was that we come prepared to discuss the theories presented, develop an opinion, and be able to defend it. There was nowhere to hide, you were going to participate (whether you liked it or not).

After a few classes, I found my voice. After a few more, I’d found a backbone. And then I got my first research paper back: C+.

All of the confidence I’d been building whooshed out of my body. I don’t get C’s, and I especially don’t get them on written work. That’s not ok. I scheduled time with him afterward to ask for additional feedback. He made a few suggestions on where to find better source material, how to tighten up my arguments, etc.

I applied all of this to my next paper and ended up with a B-. Disappointed, I asked for more feedback, and he gave it. Then I wrote my third paper: B+. This time I was pissed off. I did everything he said and the paper was good. It was damn good, and I knew it was better than several other papers that got A’s because I helped edit them!

I marched to his office after class and demanded an explanation. “Ashbrook, what is your problem? I did everything you said, my research is solid, and I know my writing is better than half of the people who got A’s. What am I missing?”

He smiled at me, “Nikki, your grade has nothing to do with other students. This isn’t middle-school Algebra where you’re graded on a curve. I’m comparing what you gave me to what I know you’re capable of. Technically, yes, your work was better than some other students but it wasn’t your best. I know you can do better.”

Life would be easier if there were a standard set of expectations to perform against, but that’s rarely the case. This class taught me to work toward my potential instead of trying to beat the curve. I became my own measuring stick, and that made me a better student in the end.

Nikki, love having you share your insights with us. Before we ask you more questions, maybe you can take a moment to introduce yourself to our readers who might have missed our earlier conversations?

After a decade as a high achiever working in corporate America, I had a ton of accolades and a nasty case of burnout. By the traditional measures of success, I was killing it: six-figure income, awards, promotions, great relationships, and good health. I was happy, but I was exhausted.

There was a pattern: insecurity, inspiration, perspiration, achievement, burnout, guilt, insecurity… repeat.

That’s when it hit me: If I could solve complex problems and design better systems for companies, why not do the same for myself? I started re-engineering my life a little bit at a time. No major overhaul – just little practical steps that improved part of the process. Using research, experimentation, and creativity, I found tactics that helped me overcome limiting beliefs, manage stress, enhance my relationships, carve out space for what matters, and maintain my moxie.

Now, through writing, speaking, and coaching, I help high-achieving professionals and organizations develop skills and systems that transform how they work and live. Together, we pinpoint the stuff that matters, clear out complexity, redesign routines, and recalibrate our metrics.

What I’ve noticed is that people know how to get things done, yet never seem to have time. They’re driven to achieve but can’t seem to relax. They strive for balance, and end up in burnout.

If you’re looking to get back in control, find more time for what matters, and breathe a little easier, let’s connect.

Are there any books, videos or other content that you feel have meaningfully impacted your thinking?

This is the question I’ve been waiting for my whole life! How much time do you have?

Just kidding (kind of). I have a million recommendations for books on business, leadership, strategy, philosophy, mindset, and a whole host of other fun topics, but I’ll try to narrow it down to ten.

1. Think Again – Adam Grant – A strong argument for challenging beliefs and assumptions
2. Essentialism – Greg McKeown – The greatest productivity book of all time
3. Awaken Your Genius – Ozan Varol – How to think for yourself and not depend on others opinions
4. The Long Game – Dorie Clark – How to create space for what matters and think past the urgent
5. The Inner Game of Tennis – W. Timothy Gallwey – The one book you should pick up from this list
6. The Infinite Game – Simon Sinek – A different way to look at progress, competition, and winning
7. Ego is the Enemy – Ryan Holiday – How to get out of your own way
8. Outliers – Malcolm Gladwell – Debunks the myth of hard work and talent as reasons for success
9. The Illusion of Money – Kyle Cease – Redefined my relationship with money and my work
10. Super Thinking – Gabriel Weinberg and Lauren McCann – a comprehensive list of biases, heuristics, and thinking traps

What’s a lesson you had to unlearn and what’s the backstory?

Leading by example isn’t always leadership.

For most of my life, I was taught to lead by example. I was never supposed to ask anyone to do anything I wasn’t able or willing to do myself. In theory, it’s not a bad practice, but if you look a little closer it can lead to inefficiency, arrogance, and missed opportunities.

When I got my first big opportunity to lead a project, I felt like a massive imposter. We had eight weeks to create an AI/ML model that could automatically “read” a dental x-ray, confirm or deny a diagnosis, and filter out insurance fraud. Oh, and our work was going to be presented the CEOs of two Fortune 50 companies.

I had no experience in dentistry, technology, or insurance claims. There was no way I was willing or able to do what I was asking my team to do. So, I had to drop my ego and allow the experts to be the experts.

My job was to organize the team, create a roadmap, and deliver the goods. My team was responsible for making the technical magic happen. By playing to our individual strengths and working together we nailed the project.

Leadership isn’t about the leader – it’s about developing the team.

Contact Info:

• Website: https://nikkisoulsby.com/
• Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/nikkisoulsbyauthor/
• Linkedin: https://www.linkedin.com/in/nikkistabler/
• Other: https://nikkisoulsby.substack.com/

Image Credits

Caitlyn Nicole