We were lucky to catch up with Nikita N. Lamar recently and have shared our conversation below.
Alright, Nikita. thanks for taking the time to share your stories and insights with us today. When you’ve been a professional in an industry for long enough, you’ll experience an industry-wide U-Turn, an instance where the consensus completely flips upside down or where the “best practices” completely change. If you’ve experienced such a U-Turn over the course of your professional career, we’d love to hear about it.
The “old” way of divorcing is becoming too expensive and will soon be obsolete. In addition, the toxicity of Family Law can be stifling, and much of the turmoil chips away at familial relations. After practicing in Family Law for over eight years, it became apparent that there is a need for a more peaceful pathway toward divorce. Even more precisely, there is presently a call for a way to “DIVORCE DIFFERENTLY.” As a solution, Leslie Turnage, Deborah Lawson, and I came together to assist families during the most emotionally and financially challenging event a family can experience, with the common goal of finding the right solution to end a marriage but keep the family together.
Divorce Retreat is the result.
Our process recognizes the need for families to stay “in a relationship” with one another, especially when minor children are involved. The familial structure changes a bit after a divorce, but the obligations to the children should not. Divorce Retreat provides an avenue for spouses to be creative when formulating agreements. This approach focuses on mutual goals with the family’s overall health in mind. Our process focuses on the future as opposed to the arguments and disputes of fact that often hinder a settlement.
Both parties must agree to an amicable divorce, and both parties must want to have the best post-divorce lives possible. This is an opportunity to, in a way—customize your divorce. People want and need options, and we want to provide just that.
Great, appreciate you sharing that with us. Before we ask you to share more of your insights, can you take a moment to introduce yourself and how you got to where you are today to our readers
The journey to becoming an attorney started in junior high school, but the path was unconventional. Before going to law school, my career was in non-profit, and I moonlighted as a licensed massage therapist. So, being in the service industry is familiar.
I have a personal connection to each division of my law firm. Here are my WHYS:
Family Law/Divorce: My parents were divorced very early in my childhood, and to be honest, I don’t have any memories of them together. In addition, when my mother was presented with some life challenges, my grandparents became my guardians. Needless to say, I am familiar with the effects of family law from a child’s perspective who is now a practicing attorney. The familial dynamics and sometimes emotional outcomes are spaces I feel comfortable navigating. Being able to “hold space” for individuals going through one of the most challenging transitions is a considerable part of my “WHY.”
Estate Planning/Probate Litigation: My grandparents passed away intestate, so they didn’t have an estate plan. This meant that much of the financial burden was placed at my feet, and things became costly. Going through Probate Court provided so much perspective, and I want to share the knowledge whenever I have the opportunity. My law firm regularly assists individuals and families with establishing estate plans, and we also help families left to handle estates with nothing in place.
Business Law ( including Trademark & Copyright Registration): Entrepreneurship has taught me much about myself (good, bad, and indifferent). Likewise, having a front-row seat to people operating in their passion fueled my interest in this area of law. Being a part of those foundational steps taken by business owners is a privilege and honor. Assisting these individuals and businesses in securing ownership of brands is just icing on the cake!
I am genuinely grateful to have a unique connection to each area of my practice.
We’d love to hear about you met your business partner.
This story is quickly becoming my favorite one to tell. Leslie Turnage and I went to Thurgood Marshall School of Law together and graduated in 2014. It is interesting because we only had a few conversations but would speak to one another in passing. Last year (2022), I reached out to Leslie via LinkedIn seeking her advice regarding law journal submissions. We agreed to meet for lunch and came up with the idea for Divorce Retreat during the meeting. The true purpose of that meeting was for us to devise a solution to the toxicity in Family Law Courts.
Also, during the meeting, Leslie mentioned her colleague Deborah Lawson who had a similar idea and would be an excellent addition to the team. All three (3) of us met for lunch the following week; the rest is history. Together we have almost 30 years of experience in Family Law/Divorce. We have all mediated cases, been assigned as a court-appointed amicus, and have litigated cases through trial. Collectively we serve various demographics, including the LGBTQIA+ community. We came together to develop a different approach to the settlement process that focuses on helping families remain at the forefront of making their own decisions during a divorce.
Learning and unlearning are both critical parts of growth – can you share a story of a time when you had to unlearn a lesson?
I have learned that every battle isn’t worth the fight. The ability to discern when the fight is necessary can be difficult, especially in the case of Divorce. Couples going through this very troubling time often feel they must defend themselves, prove their point, or even explain their position. Some individuals even resort to defamatory behavior, which has a negative effect litigation-wise and can negatively impact the familial structure/relationship. In addition, what other attorneys may need to tell you is that conflict equals billable hours. The more hearings you have and the more motions your attorney files equate to more attorney’s fees. For these reasons and so many more, Divorce Retreat was created.
Resisting the urge to explain ourselves is easier said than done, and it is primarily a struggle when you want to be understood. The general public often equates quality legal services with who will “fight” the hardest in court. However, filing various motions and being unbearable towards the opposing counsel doesn’t provide the outcomes often expected. These individuals are often unaware of their power in curating a divorce experience free of toxicity.
Contact Info:
- Website: https://www.lamarlegalgroup.com/
- Instagram: @yourrebeljd
- Linkedin: https://www.linkedin.com/in/nikita-lamar-esq-58918384/
- Other: DIVORCE RETREAT: https://lawsonlegal.net/divorceretreat/
Image Credits
LeTony W. Hadnot, Jr.-Different Mind Designs