We’re excited to introduce you to the always interesting and insightful Niki Lau. We hope you’ll enjoy our conversation with Niki below.
Hi Niki, thanks for joining us today. Let’s kick things off with a hypothetical question – if it were up to you, what would you change about the school or education system to better prepare students for a more fulfilling life and career?
Hey there! Thanks for having me. If I could change one thing about the American education system, I would make a way for international exchange studies to be accessible, encouraged, and highly supported. I am extremely blessed to have been afforded the opportunity to study abroad for three years after my bachelor’s degree. These three years left a lasting impact on my ability to think openly and critically while appreciating that the perspective I have in any given situation isn’t the only one that exists.
I remember my first assignment in my master’s degree program in Europe. We were told to write a paper on goal setting. The assignment seemed so simple. Surely someone that graduated Summa Cum Laude could write a paper on goal setting. Yet, I must tell you I was anxious and had writer’s block like never before. I was going to all my classmates asking, “what are we supposed to write about?” You can guess their response, “goal setting.” I would then say, “Well, I know that, but what about goal setting, like what specifically are we supposed to include?” They looked at me like I had lost it. Maybe even to you, I seem crazy, but for someone that had grown up always being told “this is what you need to include to get an A,” to have the freedom to write about ANYTHING about a topic was too much. I was on a search for what specifically would get me an A, but what I did not realize was having independent thought and conducting a detailed and thorough exploration is what would earn me an A. It wasn’t the specific topic or stance I wrote about; it was my ability to choose something, explore it, and explain it that mattered.
As you can imagine, it took me a while to adjust to the differences in education. I struggled mightily learning to accept and understand that life doesn’t have one rubric or right answer. It is how we approach life, the choice we make, the effort we put forth, and how we learn from every opportunity.
Perspective is a funny thing. The saying “perception is reality” is true, but it misses something. It misses the nuance that that reality isn’t the only one, nor is it always accurate. The first week we were there, some of the other international students and I went to explore Shanghai. Naturally, we went to a restaurant to get some lunch. After we had ordered and received our food, three of my peers showed more than a little annoyance with the fact they had not been given a fork and could not easily find one. Honestly, I had a hard time with this one. I thought, “you are in another country that does not use forks. How can you expect them to give one to you?” While to this day, I don’t disagree with the thoughts that I had, I think I was forgetting this situation was new for them. Their reality was forks are the way people eat food. As an Asian-American, certain aspects of Chinese culture were more familiar to me. While I can cringe at the rigid expectations my peers showed, I also must marvel at their courage to experience something new – to expose themselves to different cultures and ways of thinking.
Of course, the above example is not the only time I was shown how my perspective isn’t the only one. My time in both China and Europe helped broaden my view of life. I was put in situations where I was confronted with vastly different ways of thinking. I experienced the various ways people can prioritize values and how they manifest in their life. My time abroad taught me how to think independently and critically. And it taught me how to interact with others with genuine openness and curiosity and to remember the perspective I have is not always accurate or is it complete.
As always, we appreciate you sharing your insights and we’ve got a few more questions for you, but before we get to all of that can you take a minute to introduce yourself and give our readers some of your back background and context?
Sure thing! I am an executive leadership and performance mindset coach and consultant. People often wonder exactly what I do, and it’s a great question. In a nutshell, I help people uncover and understand the perspective with which they are viewing life and their circumstances and situations. We then work together to understand how productive and effective those perspectives are when combined with their values and situations. It is a lot of self-discovery and self-reflection with the aim of helping people get to a healthy, happier, and more productive place in life and at work.
The next question I often get is “How did you get into executive leadership and performance mindset coaching and consulting?” Honestly, I never dreamed I would be an executive leadership/performance mindset consultant. Yet, I can see how my life journey has aptly led me to where I am today. My experience as a division 1 scholarship student athlete was plagued by a nagging injury and its effect on my confidence and motivation. Working through this challenge for four years helped me understand the importance of a support system, the impact of our thoughts, and the critical need for a specific, tangible why.
Furthermore, for as long as I can remember, I’ve been intrigued and interested by people – their stories, their challenges, their strengths, their goals, etc. Growing up, people often referred to me as an “old-soul,” and it’s a characteristic I view with appreciation today because it enables me to be curious and to stay present with each of my clients. My work is not about me – it is about helping others discover what is possible.
Since 2016, I have been blessed and honored to consult with top leaders and performers in the business, military, sports, and medical fields. It’s so humbling to come alongside people in their life journeys. It’s remarkable to see how similar humans are – most people are struggling with the same overall concepts: confidence, motivation, time management, communication, etc. – yet how we each need to navigate these situations is unique. There is no cookie cutter tool or cure-all pill for any of the obstacles blocking people from performing at their best. Any solution to these obstacles requires courage and a willingness to explore and try something new. My experiences in the varied populations have helped me develop the ability to ask powerful questions and listen with the sole intent to uncover an individual’s mental barriers and hidden, limiting mindsets.
Can you talk to us about how your side-hustle turned into something more.
Absolutely! As I stated before, I never expected to be an executive leadership/performance mindset consultant. I remember as I was leaving for the European program saying, “I’m never going to be a coach or consultant. I just want to understand the psychology of performance.” And here we are. I am a consultant and a coach. Haha.
Let’s cut to the chase of how this has become my main career. In early 2019, I left my job as a contractor with the Army to return home after I had acquired a job working for a company that offered financial education. I enjoyed the work but I missed the interaction and conversations I had in my previous job. A former colleague forwarded a job posting for a company that was looking to higher contractors to provide coaching as a supplement to their online learning platform. Long story short, I applied and have been working as a contractor for that company since 2019. I’ve met dozens of people, conducted hundreds of sessions, and enjoyed every moment.
My own business is about a year old at this moment, and it’s still got a way to grow. There are many milestones in creating a business: having a product or service, getting the administrative logistics figured out, creating a brand, etc. But the most important milestone is having the courage and faith to step out on your own. That milestone may seem lonely, but really – it took a team of friends and family that helped me see I could take that step. They also showed me how wise it would be to take that step as well. We all dream of financial independence. But if you never have the courage to step out and BE independent, how could you achieve financial independence?
How do you keep your team’s morale high?
This is a great question. The answer is simple, yet like most simple things, difficult to execute well. Know yourself and know your team. There are always going to be things outside of your control that affect your team, but you will always have control over yourself and how you interact and appreciate your team. Your communication can become more effective, you will be able to delegate better, and you will be able to show appreciation to your team in ways that matter to them. Morale is often dictated by the happenings of the larger company, but that is because managers struggle with helping their direct reports view these difficult situations with a “here’s what we can do about it” mindset. Knowing your employees allows you to explore mindsets and perspectives that help them make the best out of a less than ideal situation. It helps people gain a sense of control and certainty in their situation. And finally, it is vital for you to remember that you cannot make someone do or think something. They are responsible for themselves, just as you are responsible for you.
Contact Info:
- Website: https://nikilauconsulting.com/