We recently connected with Nicole Higgins and have shared our conversation below.
Nicole, thanks for taking the time to share your stories with us today I’m sure there have been days where the challenges of being an artist or creative force you to think about what it would be like to just have a regular job. When’s the last time you felt that way? Did you have any insights from the experience?
I love this question, I think about this ALL THE TIME. I am so happy as a creative, and it’s also something that is so hard too right? Like, it seems it would be easier if all I was interested in was a ‘regular job’. I often find myself thinking about that and I almost get envious that I wasn’t wired that way (grass is always greener right?) I have a one year old and I constantly think about the fact that I wish this was it was all I needed- this, and a normal job. I don’t know how to say this without it coming off wrong to some people because you’re suppose to, as a mom, just be happy with that as if that is all there is to life. I just find myself HAVING to make stuff. I have to go to work which, I work in the film industry as a Best Boy Grip and that helps me continue my filmmaking knowledge while making my own short films on the side that I write, direct and sometimes act in. I’m working on making the move into strictly directing, writing and acting. I also feel it’s important to show my daughter, that you can work, pursue your dreams, and make it all happen for yourself you just have to do it. So many people say they want to do the thing but never get around to it. It’s very important to me that I make the time and in a strange way my daughter has motivated me to get the goals done and make time for them no matter what the circumstances are. When it could be really easy to just say “Well, I work 12 hour days, I have a baby so I have no time.” But that hasn’t been an option for me as I see it. I am lucky to have my mom close by to help me when I’m writing. When I am in prep for a film I strap her onto me and wear her during my blocking sessions. I just make it happen because I can’t not create and share these stories I have inside me.
Awesome – so before we get into the rest of our questions, can you briefly introduce yourself to our readers.
I started out as a dancer in Los Angeles, I got into a dance scholarship program. Through that program it was mandatory we take an acting class once a week. From there I fell in love with acting. When I was done with the dance program I went full force into acting taking classes at The Beverly Hills Playhouse and then with Bobbi Chance and her son Richie chance. I got an acting agent. I booked some jobs, became SAG Eligible, I was in my young twenties at this time (I’m 36 now). Around this time I fell into addiction and struggled with that for a long time. It’s hard to say exactly when it started and when it got really bad. I was living out of my car for a while. I lost sight of all my dreams and goals just trying to survive. I got into a terrible car accident that almost killed me. I’d like to say that was the point in which I sobered up but that’s not truth. The truth is it took me almost another couple years to wake up one day in my parent’s basement thinking “If I don’t change something now I am going to die here or live here forever.” And from that point on I got serious about getting sober because I really wanted something more than the drugs/ alcohol at this point I wanted to be a filmmaker. And I know it sounds like it was that easy.. to make a change, but it wasn’t, it took me a year of being sober, going to therapy, reading all the self help books, books on your energy and thoughts, to even see a light at the end of the tunnel and to come out of a severe depression fog. At that point I started to think “okay what are the steps I need to take to make the life I want happen.” I started to attend film festivals to meet like minded people. I then moved to Atlanta to work on the crew side to broaden my knowledge of filmmaking and make some money while doing so. I did that for years as you do, getting sucked into something else and the typical ‘never having time to do your personal projects.’ Then I had my baby which really kicked my ass into high gear on accomplishing my goals. Now, my films I make and am currently writing are all very different in tone, I like to bounce around between comedy and drama. I feel like I’ve lived so many lives and have so many stories to tell. If they all have a through line its that they usually are stories about women who possibly seem like not very likable characters off the top, but I like to bring the audience around full circle and really humanize them so we can have empathy for people and why they do the things they do. Especially women who seem to get judged so harshly on all decisions we make.
Looking back, are there any resources you wish you knew about earlier in your creative journey?
I wish I would have paid more attention to things going on around me. I was so hyper focused on one thing (acting) for so long I couldn’t see that there were many other facets of filmmaking that interested me. I didn’t even try. Until I got a little older and realized “oh, I like acting but I also like other parts of filmmaking as well” It wasn’t until then that I began to explore different veins of filmmaking like writing, and directing and even working as crew as a grip. It’s all interesting to me. Do I like some things more than others.. yes. Now, I follow my gut in those directions and work on those things that really fulfill me. I wish I was more open to possibilities when I started out. But then again, everything happens for a reason!
Can you share a story from your journey that illustrates your resilience?
Coming from indie filmmaking where it seems like there is so much love and everyone trying to get through this together to make the passion project come to life. I find once you get into these union jobs, and start working on big movies and tv shows it can be really deflating when the vibe is not anywhere near the same. The way people talk about and treat women here. I’ve experienced first hand being in a mostly male dominated department and being the “girl the guys can say anything around” can be exhausting and taxing at times especially when you are the type of person who wants to surround yourself with good energy. The amount of shit talking on women (and other people in general, they talk shit about men too) in the industry is truly maddening. I’d also like to say it’s not just the guys who say negative things, I’ve heard things female producers have said about me that are very disheartening as well, even more so coming from another female it seems to sting a little more. I try not to let it bother me and keep it moving because I believe these are just hurt people who don’t know how to handle their emotions themselves. The fact that I’m still here and trying to make things happen for myself even though I am constantly hearing what people think pushes me even more.
Contact Info:
- Instagram: @redlipstickandbangs
- Other: http://imdb.me/nicolehiggins
Image Credits
Dariia Petrova , Lilly Korinek, Jalaludin Trautmann