We caught up with the brilliant and insightful Nick Horst a few weeks ago and have shared our conversation below.

Nick, looking forward to hearing all of your stories today. Are you happier as a creative? Do you sometimes think about what it would be like to just have a regular job? Can you talk to us about how you think through these emotions?

It’s such a tricky question, “am I happy as an artist?” My instinct is to be, like, oh ya! Absolutely, every thing is just great, grand wonderful! No second guessing here, I’m just a super happy Actor guy. No regrets, baby!!

But the reality is, it’s not black and white. This industry is tough. That’s not a secret. Do I wish work was more consistent? Yes. Do I wish it was more of a meritocracy? Yeah. Do I wish I never have to hear the words ‘social media presence’ again? Please, God, yes.

As an artist, there are are so many things out of your control, and with that comes rejection. It takes a toll on you mentally, creatively and financially. Anyone in their right mind, would say, forget this, I’m done. Not. For. Me.

But then there are those moments… when you’re on set or on stage, where you know there is nothing else you would rather be doing; it just feels like you are where you are meant to be. The feeling of putting together a short film with your closest friends or that energy backstage before opening night. It’s moments like that when there are no regrets, no second guessing. It feels, for lack of a more astute term… right.

Would I ever consider another job? I’d be lying if I hadn’t considered it. Sometimes I wonder if a doctor has ever been asked, how many instagram followers they have before a patient decides if they can operate.

But I can’t imagine doing anything else. It has brought me so much joy, its introduced me to some of my closest friends and memories I will never forget. I don’t want to do anything else…unless there’s a job that can make up for the lack of attention I had as a child, or a job where I get paid to make an ass out of myself. I’m pretty grateful for my life as an artist.

Great, appreciate you sharing that with us. Before we ask you to share more of your insights, can you take a moment to introduce yourself and how you got to where you are today to our readers.

I blame Chris Farley for a lot of things in my life. I idolized him, he was a God among men. Growing up I memorized every SNL sketch he was in, every line from the movie Tommy Boy, and I think I’ve done “Fat guy in a little coat” more than ten thousand times. He made me laugh like I’ve never laughed before. I’d re enact these sketches in front of my friends and family, and to hear them laugh was a feeling that I got addicted to. In high school, we had to do a senior project and it could be whatever you wanted it to be, so obviously I chose to write and perform a sketch/ improv show that was basically me doing every Chris Farley sketch on SNL. I wanted to be just like him, minus the drug addiction and alcoholism, but I sure did flirt with that.

So after high school, I had to move to Chicago. I got accepted to The Chicago College of Performing Arts, an acting conservatory in the heart of the city. Why Chicago? Second City. Why Second City? Chris Farley. You get it… While I was in school I was still able to study at the exact place my hero studied at.

Don’t get me wrong I love LA, I do. But it was in Chicago where I learned my work ethic and where other artists pushed me to be better. I lived in Chicago for over 12 years. I was fortunate to work at some the most amazing theatres, Steppenwolf Theatre, The Goodman Theatre and Steep Theatre. It was Chicago that really made me fall in love with acting and writing. It was where I met my wife. It was where found my community.

The reason I talk about Chicago so much is that it gave my work integrity. Wether it’s comedy, drama, clowning, puppetry, kabuki, whatever, if it doesn’t come from a place of truth, or a place of honesty, it’s bullshit. Integrity of your work was held of highest importance in Chicago.

While Chris Farley lead me to the Windy City, it was the community I found there that developed my sensibility as an artist. While I’m getting ZERO money from the Chicago Department of Tourism, and hyping this city up a LOT, I truly believe it was that community that made me stand out as a truthful artist who, at the the drop of hat, will still sing “Fat guy in a little coat” with deep commitment.

Looking back, are there any resources you wish you knew about earlier in your creative journey?

I knew this resource existed, but was too head strong to think I needed it. Therapy. Go talk to a therapist. This industry is hard enough, you don’t have to go through it by yourself. I became so afraid of failing and being rejected, I started self sabotaging, which created negative self-talk. The idea of being told “no” again and again had finally wore me down,; if I just stopped auditioning, I was no longer hearing the “no”. Obviously, not auditioning made it very hard to hear a “yes”. You see the issue.

My wife suggested I talk to a therapist about it, and get some help on what I was going through. Did I listen to her? No. Should I have? Yes. Should I always listen to my wife? No- wait, yes. She said yes. But don’t worry after 10 or 12 more suggestions from my wife I finally saw a therapist. It changed my life.

I had no idea the traps I had created about my self-worth. The toll of constantly hustling and not getting where you think you should be wears you down. You start to doubt yourself, and it snowballs. Having the help from a professional to talk you through what you’re experiencing can have a huge impact on how you perceive yourself and the work you are doing.

What do you find most rewarding about being a creative?

For me, it’s the collaboration aspect of it all. The idea of an ensemble. The concept of being in a room full of artists and creating something from nothing. The best relationships I have in my life have come through this process. There is something so fulfilling of being a part of a creative team, bouncing ideas off of one another. Whether it’s working with a director and playwright on a new play, writing a new sketch at Groundlings with the funniest people on the planet or even just helping a fellow actor go over audition sides. It’s after that process where you can sit back and look at what you’ve created, what you’ve put together to show the world. Sure sometimes it doesn’t work out exactly the way you want, but you continue to grow from that, and you get to look forward to what’s next. For me its being in the room, with fellow collaborators with a singular goal, to make the best thing possible.

Contact Info:

• Website: https://www.nickhorstofficial.com/
• Instagram: @thisisnotnickhorst
• Twitter: @NHorst