We caught up with the brilliant and insightful Natasha Riley a few weeks ago and have shared our conversation below.

Natasha, looking forward to hearing all of your stories today. Talk to us about building your team? What was it like? What were some of the key challenges and what was your process like?

I was a team of 1 for the first year and a half of my business journey, but grinding things out on my own was the norm. You could’ve just called me “Superwoman”! It wasn’t until I joined my first business coaching group that it was even encouraged to get help…as soon as I could. Now, in my mind having a team meant bells and whistles. I had no clue that I could bring someone on for a few hours or for a particular project. Once I got a bit of education on what a team could look like for me, I built out a job description, job post, and onboarding plan. My first hire was a personal assistant to help me get organized and to stop over-booking myself (it was badddd). I actually went through people I knew because that is where my comfort level was at. I was afraid to hire someone out in the world to help me build my baby. I eventually did interview and hire on someone that not only had the credentials, but also had the capability to grow with me. There was a freakout moment when I was going through the state to recognize my employee, but it was well worth it. It’s been a little over a year since she came on and it has been a dream. A good bit of hard conversations as the leader, but overall we work exceptionally well together. She came in ready to take on tasks and remind me of what my job was, to be the CEO.

If I started today, I would definitely think bigger than just myself. I would strategize on the best hire to increase my production and organization sooner…for sure!

Awesome – so before we get into the rest of our questions, can you briefly introduce yourself to our readers.

Who am I? I am what could be considered a pleasure activist. My roles consist of being a licensed sex therapist, a certified sex & intimacy coach, and certified sex doula. Throughout each of my businesses, I put emphasis on women, especially Black women, acknowledging the lack of pleasure and self-intimacy in their lives.

I always knew I wanted to specialize in sex, from my days of watching Real Sex, Taxicab Confessions, and Dr. Ruth. Now, I had no clue what was really going on when I was watching those shows, but I remember thinking “I can do that!”

As of right now, client’s come to me either for therapy or 1:1 coaching. One of the main questions I get is, “What is the difference between a therapist and a coach?”

Imagine therapy as the place to unpack your emotional and past luggage. Therapy includes a good bit of processing emotions from past experiences so that you can function in your present life. Think trauma, bad relationships, old pains, and locked memories.

Coaching, while it can have moments of processing the past, is mainly focused on the future. The focus is more on how to get you from point A to point B. This area of my work includes a lot more doing and less thinking.

So many women can recognize when they are not happy, when things just aren’t satisfying. These same women struggle with knowing what will decrease that unhappiness and lack of satisfaction. It is my job to help my clients be honest about what they want, prioritize those things for themselves, and communicate it to others…with confidence!

I add that confidence piece in there because it is so important. Women are know for being nurturing and putting other’s above themselves, especially Black women. Pleasure and self-intimacy requires elements of selfishness (which I like to call self-attentiveness to ease the negative feelings of being called selfish). Confidence is what will help ease the guilt and shame of admitting that you should, and will, come first.

Is it an easy journey…No.

Is it worth it…Yes.

We often hear about learning lessons – but just as important is unlearning lessons. Have you ever had to unlearn a lesson?

This question is right on time! One of the lessons I had to unlearn is what elevation looks like as a business owner. It was never my plan to be a business owner. Let me clock in and get my regular check, please and thank you! However, the pandemic required me to re-evaluate my values and goals. When I started my business my main mission was making a lot of money. With no prior knowledge of business, all I knew was business owners always talked about making money. So, I went into this process basing all of my goals on how to make more money. Never did I stop to think about how it would stretch me as a person, how I would have to do a good bit of healing to be the best leader for my team and clients.

Profit is good, but it is no longer the main focus of my business. I know to you that might sound crazy, but to me the main focus is:

1. Am I embodying the person I am asking my client to be? I don’t want to convince anyone of the transformations I can provide with just my words. I want someone to see my actions and feel the energy of what I do, to follow my glow-up journey in real time.

2. What do I want to be know for? I want to build a container of safety. It is uncomfortable and scary to talk about sex, pleasure, and intimacy. Some of my client’s introduction to these words were not by choice or not at all. In a world of so much judgment, I want my services to be the comfy chair in front of the fire at the end of a cold day. All my client’s can come in, sit down, take off the mask they wear, and feel safe to be themselves.

Can you talk to us about how your funded your business?

Every aspect of my businesses has been funded by me. I would love to share an amazing story about how I had investors swoop in to elevate my businesses financially, but nope. Outside of my family pitching in, I was the main source of capital. There were really hard moments, when I had to decide between paying a house bill on time or taking care of something in my business.

What helped during that time was knowing that what I was building was going to be bigger than me. I refused to let money be the reason that I didn’t show up in my purpose.

Contact Info:

• Website: www.closetfreakchronicles.com
• Instagram: www.instagram.com/ChentilleandCo
• Facebook: www.facebook.com/NatashaChentille
• Other: The Unapologetic Vixen Podcast: Owning Pleasure As A Black woman www.closetfreakchronicles.com/podcast

Image Credits
Above The Line Media Laquel Wright Photography