Alright – so today we’ve got the honor of introducing you to Natalie Goerner. We think you’ll enjoy our conversation, we’ve shared it below.
Natalie, appreciate you joining us today. Do you think your parents have had a meaningful impact on you and your journey?
My parents certainly did some things right. They did lots of things wrong as well, as all parents do, including myself but what I do know is that they taught me to work hard, follow my passions and that my true calling is in the service of others.
My dad was a business owner (he had a Volkswagen repair shop) and amidst his own personal difficulties and challenges, he worked hard to build himself a business that was loved by many because of his strong work ethic, honesty, loyalty and sense of responsibility. I admired this and have realized in the last few years (since I have taken a leap to leave my secure work, follow my passion, start my own practice fully…that my heart’s work and my entrepreneurial drive comes from him) This makes me emotional and filled with gratitude and joy, because I lost him suddenly in 2013 when he died of a heart attack at age 70. I’ll never forget, he once said to me “I believe in helping people”, and this resonates so deeply with me.
My mom worked as a nurse for her whole life tending and caring for others in their most vulnerable times. She began her career assisting with the delivery of babies at Vancouver General Hospital and worked in a variety of healthcare settings after that, ending her career (talk about cycle of life!) working with the elderly in a nursing home in Windsor-Essex County where I was raised.
I first hand saw their love for their work which I believe was their purpose/dharma/ikigai (different concepts and terms I have learned) and there is no question that the way I spend my days is also mine. As a child/adolescent, I would visit their workplaces if there was no school, or I was getting my first car fixed (perk of being a mechanic’s daughter) and would hang out at the shop for some time. I’ll never forget, I was given the task to help do filing and organize paperwork at the OB/GYN office my mom worked at in the 90’s and let’s just say, they didn’t always get placed in alphabetical order that they were supposed to, (I got bored and wanted to move onto the next thing), and this rings true still today, my forte is certainly not doing paperwork, I want to be with people helping them to heal and witnessing the magic in that!
It was always so clear to me that they interacted with their patients/customers with such kindness, joy and warmth no matter who they were. This shaped me immensely. They were helping others and that is so deep in my DNA that I couldn’t see myself ever doing anything else.
This impacted me greatly, I was shown that if you take action and work towards your goals with kindness and integrity, you can thrive. My dad opened his own business in his mid-40’s (after leaving his family in Germany in his 20’s and immigrating to Canada; Vancouver then to Windsor). I am now, at midlife also, working hard at establishing my own business and following my dreams. I think about him often, as I am reminded of him each day when I look up at the sky in my beautiful serene backyard and see a bright red cardinal stopping by to sing his song. I am comforted each day knowing he is cheering me on from beyond.
My mom has been battling Alzheimer’s disease since 2020/21, and this has also taught me to take risks, be in the present moment and ‘feel the fear and do it anyways’ when it comes to my journey with my career. Life is too short to not be enjoying and passionate about what you do and how you spend your time. As the quote by Annie Dillard says…”How we spend our days is, of course, how we spend our lives.”
Natalie, before we move on to more of these sorts of questions, can you take some time to bring our readers up to speed on you and what you do?
I am a Social Worker (MSW) and Psychotherapist for the past 18 years. When I was little (grade 7/8) I knew I wanted to help other children/adolescents feel supported in their family as I had challenges growing up in mine. I then completed a diploma in CYW (Child and Youth Work) but then realized I wanted to work with adults as well so continued on to do my BSW (Bachelors of Social Work) and then my MSW. (Masters of Social Work)
I’ve certainly lived my own struggles with people pleasing, perfectionism, and performance anxiety. I’ve experienced maladaptive self-soothing behaviours, difficult family dynamics (having a parent with a substance use problem), and experienced different types of grief; the loss of a parent, and anticipatory grief with an ill loved one. Over the last 10 years, I’ve worked immensely on emotional regulation and nervous system rehabilitation (since experiencing major loss and becoming a mother of two), in order to show up as my true self (not my trauma responses) in all my life’s relationships.
I offer individual therapy sessions to clients (EMDR is one main modality I use), group online mindfulness meditation (MBCT) groups to learn skills and connect with others, and retreats. I am very passionate about teaching the very skills and tools that have helped me along my journey to others. I am most proud of my life experience (professional and personal) the ups and downs, light and dark moments and how I can use this in my work to help others to heal, reconnect to themselves and their loved ones and feel a sense of purpose and drive in their lives.
I have participated in many workshops, groups, and retreats myself and I have experienced the most healing and reparative experiences within community.
I believe my warmth is my greatest strength and as Maya Angelou said best ‘people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.”
If you could go back in time, do you think you would have chosen a different profession or specialty?
Absolutely! I have learned so much about humanity being a social worker, how to advocate for others and support them and most importantly, more recently on a whole different level, how to first take care of myself. I have always prioritized maintaining social connections, friendships, relationships but after becoming a mother to two little girls, experiencing the sudden loss of a parent, then the uncertainty with a disease like Alzheimer’s with my mom, I have learned that I need to be able to receive almost as much as I give to others and learn to be ok with receiving. There is nothing more powerful than being seen, heard, and held in our most vulnerable moments and in the mundane times too. We are wired for connection as humans.
Of course, we all know this intellectually, what we are ‘supposed’ to be doing to slow down and practice self-care and all of that, but actually doing it and feeling ok and safe in it is another thing. Since practicing meditation and just a more mindful life, going for slower walks, getting out into nature, going slower overall, my body feels more safe to just be vs. feeling the constant nag of having to perform or achieve. (which is definitely hard working for yourself because the limits are less clear and we have to question our definition of success)
What do you think helped you build your reputation within your market?
This goes back to the first question about what my parents did right. I prioritize integrity, loyalty, and respect. However, as I mentioned before I have struggled with people pleasing tendencies and so I have learned it is ok to be firm and still kind.
I think my consistency of being genuine and sharing my story too shows that I certainly don’t have it all together but am also in the process of growing, healing and working on myself.
It is important for me to continue to ‘do the work” because it is a lifelong process of evolving and returning to our true selves.
Contact Info:
- Website: https://www.nataliegoerner.com
- Instagram: @mindfulnessmeditationmtl
- Facebook: Mindfulness Meditation For Anxiety & Depression
Image Credits
Laura Regev