We’re excited to introduce you to the always interesting and insightful Natalia Hernandez. We hope you’ll enjoy our conversation with Natalia below.
Natalia, thanks for joining us, excited to have you contributing your stories and insights. If you had a defining moment that you feel really changed the trajectory of your career, we’d love to hear the story and details.
My life changed completely when I learned about the Enneagram and life coaching. I was living by default, living with large expectations of people, playing victim, wondering why my relationships weren’t thriving. I didn’t know why I’d run from tough conversations, avoid being hurt or spend so much time pretending things were better than they were. Until I found the Enneagram and coaching. Learning I was a Type 7 catapulted me into the kind of self-awareness I was never able to turn my back to. It described me perfectly and showed me why I acted/reacted the way I did to any level of pain and disappointment. It also showed me the willingness I had to change it all. I knew from that moment how to change my relationships and so I did. My marriage is a success because of the Enneagram and coaching. I have now dedicated my life to coaching individuals and couples thrive in their own relationships. The relationship isn’t the problem. The people in it isn’t the problem either. It’s a communication problem. Understanding the way you react and behave in a relationship is crucial to know how to de-escalate arguments, resolve them quickly, and overall understand your partner on a deeper level. You get your power back knowing you can take full responsibility for your side of the story and meet everyone else where they’re at. It’s a game changer and truly transforms lives.
Natalia, before we move on to more of these sorts of questions, can you take some time to bring our readers up to speed on you and what you do?
I am a Certified Enneagram and Relationship Coach. I help individuals and couples heal, mend, or end their Relationships. Before I became a coach, I was living by default, living with large expectations of people, playing victim, wondering why my relationships weren’t thriving. I didn’t know why I’d run from tough conversations, avoid being hurt or spend so much time pretending things were better than they were. When I found the Enneagram/Coaching, my entire life changed. I applied everything I had learned and worked hard to create the beautiful life and relationship I have now.
I incorporate the Enneagram with a concept I came up called The Relationship Trifecta consisting of 3 key elements that make any relationship thrive no matter your Enneagram Type. I know people don’t need to suffer or settle for mediocrity in their relationships when what they want is thrilling, peaceful, fun, loving. I also know they don’t need to ignore their own instincts for what’s no longer working. My coaching provides clients with clarity and a direct path into either building a solid foundation to grow upon or a direct path to finally put themselves first and leave.
I provide individuals and couples with Total Relationship Mastery in 6 months or less. They’ll leave working together knowing how to de-escalate arguments, communicate better, and trust themselves more. Sometimes, individuals realize their lives would be so much greater, so much more fulfilled, elsewhere. And that’s okay too. I’m an advocate for happiness, no matter what form that takes on.
I want people to know they have more power than they think – no matter how old they are, how long they’ve been together, or what they’ve been through. I help clients get to the root issue and put down the past evidence of why it can’t work out. I show them they’re in a partnership even if it doesn’t feel like it every day. Communication is king for a reason and as long as someone is willing to be honest, entire relationships can shift and change for the better.
What’s a lesson you had to unlearn and what’s the backstory?
A big lesson I had to unlearn is the notion that people can read my mind. I always assumed they “should know” but the honest truth is, they don’t. I expected so much from them and was disappointed if things didn’t go as I planned in my mind. This turned into conflict I didn’t know how to effectively resolve. The longer I stayed upset or annoyed, the greater the frustration became. This ultimately led to a breakdown of wanting to communicate at all and I took on the victim role that other show have known better. Through coaching and learning the Enneagram, I realized I wasn’t taking responsibility and ownership for my role. I didn’t take into account that I was assuming things. I didn’t ask for what I wanted or needed. And once I saw this, I was able to adjust. I didn’t wait around for things to be different, I made them different. I asked for what I wanted and was no longer afraid to voice my opinion. I stopped being easily offended and truly believed my partner was on my team – wanting the best for me always. We all have the choice to stay the same or grow. Coaching has a direct and quick way of showing you what you need to make your relationship and life thrive.
Other than training/knowledge, what do you think is most helpful for succeeding in your field?
Doing the inner work first. I had to understand the obstacles people face in order to get them through it. I had to first take responsibility for how I was showing up in relationships before I was able to walk anyone else through their struggles. This inner work and growth led me to create the tool I use today called The Relationship Trifecta (along with the Enneagram) to help individuals and couples build a solid foundation based on effective communication. Starting with yourself and looking at your own setbacks is always the best and fastest way to make anything you’re wanting to do in life better.
Contact Info:
- Website: https://www.nofrillscoach.com
- Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/nofrillscoach/
- Other: No Frills Coaching Podcast https://www.nofrillscoach.com/podcast-1
Image Credits
Melissa Moreno