Alright – so today we’ve got the honor of introducing you to Nadia Finer. We think you’ll enjoy our conversation, we’ve shared it below.

Nadia, thanks for joining us, excited to have you contributing your stories and insights. Let’s kick things off with a hypothetical question – if it were up to you, what would you change about the school or education system to better prepare students for a more fulfilling life and career?

Being shy at school is a struggle.

It’s clear that schools were not designed for shy children. So many kids, so much chaos and hustle and bustle, so much pressure. And so much noise!

Shy students struggle to speak up in class, to get involved in activities, to make friends, to put themselves forward, to perform, to compete. They don’t share their work or ideas. They often don’t ask for help if they get stuck. They struggle to join in and to make friends. They shrink and hide at the back, or on the side-lines, listening and observing. They miss out on fun. They miss out on opportunities. They miss out on achieving their full potential.

Research shows that quiet and shy learners are often viewed negatively in the school setting. As schools are focused on oracy, communication and proactive participation in learning, shy children may be overlooked.

The fact that shy students are not disruptive or noisy, means they fly under the radar. Their reluctance to ask for help can hinder their learning outcomes. Teachers are often not be trained to understand shyness, and are not usually shy themselves, leading to an increased lack of understanding.

Rather than just finding things difficult, shy children may actually be traumatised by everyday aspects of school life, for example presentations, assemblies, plays, performances and group activities.

Plus, shy kids are more likely to be bullied because they come across as a soft target. They are less likely to stand up to bullies or tell anyone about what’s going on, because they are shy.

From the moment they enter the education system shy children struggle to find their voice.

SHY CHILDREN ARE LESS LIKELY TO DO WELL ACADEMICALLY.

THEY ARE LESS LIKELY TO SECURE WELL PAID EMPLOYMENT.

SHYNESS REDUCES THEIR CHANCES OF LEADING A HAPPY AND FULFILLED LIFE.

I would like to see more support and understanding around shyness in schools. In my experience many teachers do not understand what it is to be shy. And if they do, they do not have the time or resources to give these students the attention they need and deserve.

I am on a softly spoken mission to change this. Through talks and workshops for students, parents and teachers, as well as the books I have written for shy and quieter kids.

Great, appreciate you sharing that with us. Before we ask you to share more of your insights, can you take a moment to introduce yourself and how you got to where you are today to our readers.

I’m Nadia Finer, and I’m on a softly spoken mission to help shy people be more mighty. I’m the UK’s leading shyness expert; the author of three books about shyness – Shy and Mighty (published by Quercus) Shy and Mighty for Kids, (published by DK), and Quiet Riot (published by Moon + Bird in April 2025) and a coach specialising in shyness.

I’m excited to introduce my new book, QUIET RIOT, which will be published by Moon + Bird on 29 April 2025. Quiet Riot is a beautiful collection of 40 inspiring stories celebrating the triumphs and successes of shy people from all over the world – athletes, writers, explorers, inventors, artists, singers and activists. Aimed at young readers aged 7+, my book shows that softly spoken people are trailblazers too – in their own quiet way. And, I wonder how things might be different if I’d had a book like this to read when I was young.

I know what it’s like to struggle with shyness. You see, all my life I’ve had a little voice. Really little. The kind of voice that makes random people tell me that I should be a cartoon voice-over actress. A voice so little that when strangers ring my house phone, they ask me to put my mum on the phone. It’s no wonder I’m often shy and self-conscious!

I believe that shyness is not a weakness, or a shameful secret. We are not broken. And we don’t need to change who we are. We have so many talents and gifts; it’s time for us to step out of the shadows, because the world needs to hear our voices.

I’m a regular speaker in organisations and in schools around the country. I have appeared on Radio 4 Saturday Live, Woman’s Hour and the ITV News. I’ve been in the Times, Guardian, the Telegraph, The Telegraph, The Independent and in Good Housekeeping.

You can find out more about me at www.shyandmighty.com

Let’s talk about resilience next – do you have a story you can share with us?

I remember the day shyness took over my life. I was a quiet 14-year-old in the middle of a French conversation lesson at school. We were told to record ourselves speaking and then listen back to our clunky attempts at a French accent.

But, when I hit play on the cassette player, (remember those?) something strange happened. All I heard was a little kid talking. I figured I must have pressed the wrong button. But then it hit me. That was voice.

I vowed to hide myself away from that moment on, so that nobody would notice me and my weird little voice. Never again would I phone someone I didn’t know, speak up in front of people, be in any kind of show or performance, present my work to a group, or (shudder) leave a voicemail message.

As an adult, my shyness has tried to squash me and to keep me small. Socially, I’ve struggled to do simple things, like chat to neighbours, let loose at parties, or even order a coffee. Professionally, I’ve avoided speaking up, promoting my work, and pushing myself forward. I’ve been intimidated, bossed around and bullied in business. Bad times.

But, then at the ripe old age of 41, inspired by the Shakespeare quote, “Though she be but little, she is fierce,” I decided enough was enough. Rather than hide away from my shyness, from people and opportunities and life in general, I decided to launch the Shy and Mighty project and finally figure out how I could embrace the real me.

My work has led me to make some big changes to my own life. Now, I work with clients of all ages using my unique Shycology system. Understanding when, why and how we are shy helps us to overcome our fears resistance. Creating of psychological safety, helps us to push ourselves forwards and do big things. Building on our own strengths and preferences, means we can finally finish with fakery. And practising bravery helps us to achieve our goals, in a calm, comfortable way.

Other people may talk about shyness like it’s a disease, but I don’t think we are ill, or broken. Shyness is part of who we are.

In some countries, like Japan and Sweden, shyness is actually valued. Shy people are considered modest, introspective, approachable and empathetic. It’s only in countries where the culture revolves around individual success and competition that shyness is seen as a problem.

We may not like standing out, showing off, or karaoke, but I believe that shy can be mighty! We are deep thinkers, with a rich inner world, which helps us solve difficult problems and come up with creative ideas. We suck at superficial small talk, but we are great at forming deep and meaningful relationships. Plus, the fact that we prefer to prepare, observe and listen, means that when we do finally speak up, we have something important to say.

People are not all the same. We can’t all be alpha! Research shows that businesses, teams, and society in general need a mixture of personalities and perspectives and to function effectively. Plus, if everyone was dominant, we’d all just be talking over each other, and nothing would get done!

Since I became shy and mighty, my life has got a lot more exciting. I’ve become a champion for shy people, speaking on the radio, and to big audiences, I’ve even been on TV talking about shyness. And I’ve had three books on the subject of shyness published! And best of all, get to do it in my own quiet way.

Yes, when I’m speaking my voice is usually shaky. And so is the rest of me. But, the fact that I can show people it is possible to show up, as a shy person, it creates a big, softly spoken, impact.

Oh, and I started training to become a boxer! As someone who often feels little, and shy and self-conscious, I was very shocked to discover that I have fierceness inside me and a surprisingly powerful punch. It’s this mighty-me that I tap into when I enter the boxing ring and go from quiet, shy, awkward Nadia, to Bad Nad!

And if I can do all that stuff, then you definitely can too. You don’t need a personality transplant. And you definitely don’t need fixing. But if your shyness is keeping you small, and your potential is stuck at silent, then it’s time to start taking steps towards a more mighty you.

www.shyandmighty.com

Any stories or insights that might help us understand how you’ve built such a strong reputation?

When I first started out, I was the only one really talking about shyness. And in a way, that made sense—shy people don’t usually put themselves in the spotlight. The irony wasn’t lost on me. But I understood shyness in a way that a lot of mainstream advice didn’t.

Most of what I found was about confidence. And confidence isn’t the same as shyness. You can believe in yourself, know you’re capable, but still struggle when all eyes are on you—when you feel watched, judged, or exposed. And a lot of the typical “be more confident” advice felt like being shouted at, like someone was trying to push me into being someone I wasn’t. That approach just doesn’t work for shy people.

So, I realized that if I didn’t start speaking up about shyness—about the silence and the shame surrounding it—then people like me would keep feeling alone. And that’s what helped me build my reputation: being honest, being myself, and sharing my experiences in a way that felt real and relatable. I wasn’t trying to “fix” shyness or tell people they had to change who they were. Instead, I focused on what we can do—practical, gentle ways to step out of the shadows when we choose to.

Ultimately, my fears mattered less than the message I had to share: Shy people are not broken. We don’t need to become someone else to thrive. But if we want to navigate the world more comfortably, there are things we can learn, try, and practice that make it easier. That belief, and my willingness to show up despite my own nerves, is what helped me build my reputation.

Contact Info:

• Website: https://www.shyandmighty.com
• Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/iamshyandmighty/
• Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/iamshyandmighty
• Linkedin: https://www.linkedin.com/in/nadiafiner/
• Twitter: https://twitter.com/nadiafiner
• Other: https://open.spotify.com/show/5ovu5UOYFtzjt2MOCkrrHH