We were lucky to catch up with Monique Gomez recently and have shared our conversation below.

Hi Monique, thanks for joining us today. Can you recount a time when the advice you provided to a client was really spot on? (Please note this response is for education/entertainment purposes only and shouldn’t be construed as advice for the reader)

The best advice I’ve given clients is that sitting in the yuck of life, feelings, or struggle is part of growth and knowing yourself as well as your strengths. This awareness helps most of my clients understand the benefits of working with their nervous system to heal, regulate and conquer any goal, task, or tough conversation. In the last few years, we’ve all dealt with extreme uncertainty which created a nudge to speak up for our beliefs, values, and time spent the way we want. My client and many like her saw the benefit of creating boundaries and standing up for themselves. This particular client always felt as if her voice was stifled or not able to be expressed. Her being witness and experiencing the nudges we’ve all felt in the last few years led her to identify the things she wanted to say to those she loved.
Those tough conversations my client was curious about, led her to engage with my service to help her regulate. As my client practiced; listening to her body, speaking from her heart, and intentionally choosing words related to her feelings or needs she worked on her confidence in using her voice and putting boundaries in place.
My client learned that sitting in the yuck (as I like to say) acts as a catalyst for our wants. She realized sitting in the yuck was part of practicing new scary skills and getting some results as well as advancing her voice.
This awareness of sitting in the yuck is how we work with our nervous system to practice skills and change our lives for healing or simply living the life we want.

Monique, before we move on to more of these sorts of questions, can you take some time to bring our readers up to speed on you and what you do?

I am a Trauma and Resilience Life Coach as well as a massage therapist, reiki master, and former mental health counselor. I help to educate and help clients work with their nervous system for growth and healing. I first got into the field of counseling as I had lost my father from a drug overdose the same week as my eighth birthday. I’ve spent eight years working in the “yuck” as I like to call it of mental health counseling, trauma, and grief support as well as facilitating groups for skills and space holding for deep emotions. Unfortunately, as I was prematurely opening my own private practice, I missed a step and had to close my business. My License for Master Social Worker is currently on probation and during searching for a new position to restart my whole career I found Trauma and Resilience Life Coach Certification in January of 2022.

The Trauma and Resilience Life Coach Certification followed exactly the path I was desiring to combine all my skills of massage and bodywork to work with people who have a history of trauma. The Certification described using Salutogenic Model for healing, this model in its basic form describes the history of research regarding body regulation as a way to reverse symptoms of stress and trauma to live longer, healthier lives. This model is incorporated with my services by getting health history details, referring to other practitioners, and assessing the body’s reactions to increasing clients’ awareness.

My Programs include a group coaching container that is the baseline skills for regulation that we never learned from our parents or ancestors. I prefer to use non-clinical terms as being a human with a nervous system is already amazing enough. My one-on-one program is a five to six-month commitment to realizing strengths and growing awareness and body attunement. This one on one Building Resilience Program includes body massage, energy work as well as coaching and check-in calls to stay diligent in the life you want.

The problems I solve are partly educational to help teach the public that self-care is not at all the same as self-regulation. This knowledge gives the client back the power that, no matter financials or access to forms of care your body can heal. I believe this is one thing that sets me apart from all of those other healthcare providers. The second reason I am different than other body-mind supporters is through my history of a mental health career, and training in assessment and trauma help identify when and where a client could seek extra help. This work I’ve been passionate about for so long has been my ultimate goal to support people in using their body and nervous system for growth,

Can you share a story from your journey that illustrates your resilience?

The story of my pivot from my Associate Counselor license to now working as a Resilience Coach really tested my dedication to this life goal. I was fully on track to build a private counseling business, as well as obtain my clinical counselor’s license but was stopped as I was attempting to remedy my mistake of prematurely growing my private practice. When I found out I had made a mistake with a phone call from the Arizona Board of Behavioral Health- I was in complete shock and fear. I was imagining the worst. During the full investigation, I was brought back to a depressive and fearful state that didn’t necessarily end after the ruling by the board of my probation. After the ruling, I was exhausted, worried, and completely confused as the dream of opening a private practice had been my goal since I was twelve years old. I cried and felt hopeless more than I want to admit. The only things I felt I was doing right were surviving, and barely making it to see massage clients in order to pay bills. I then used my energy and spiritual skills to call on my beliefs– I prayed more than I had ever prayed in my life. Not prayer in the typical sense but more using my energy and spiritual guidance to ask where I am supposed to go next. As I continued to regulate, feed, sleep, and take care of hygiene during this upset state– I found a website page with an answer. I found this answer as I was looking for continuing education. The Trauma and Resilience Coaching Program was on this page, an answer I was begging for months. During taking the coursework and sort of feeling like I had a direction, i still felt unsteady– I had to ask for help, use all of my coping skills and be mindful of falling back into an old pattern of drinking alcohol to cope. During the program and practicing new skills– I found out the truth about resilience. Resilience isn’t a “bounce back” it is looking past the temporary pain or upset and moving forward through change. True resiliency( with research) is about going in the direction of the goal, even with failure or pauses.

We often hear about learning lessons – but just as important is unlearning lessons. Have you ever had to unlearn a lesson?

There are so many lessons to unlearn but I learned a lot in my pivot and working with a holistic business coach. The first and main lesson was to ask for help and let people in on the dream. You are never a lone in your dreams, sometimes you need to find the right supporters. Sometimes those supporters are outside your current reach and it involves getting uncomfortable to get your needs met.

Contact Info:

• Website: https://goldenhandsmassageaz.com/
• Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/moniquegomez_thecoach/

Image Credits
Brandi Marie Photography, AZ