Today we’d like to introduce you to Monica Cox

Hi Monica, we’d love for you to start by introducing yourself.

At 27, I was fit, healthy, and ready to have a baby. After three years of trying naturally and being diagnosed with unexplained infertility, our new OB/GYNs in York, England quickly suggested IVF. We had done everything else in the medical field, so it seemed like the natural next step. I knew my cycle well enough by then, and I just thought, “Well, okay, IVF gets people pregnant.” I never believed that it was going to solve my issues, but I was hoping that it would expose something or, better yet, give us a baby!

We were told, “Unfortunately, you live in one of the three counties that doesn’t fund IVF.” No joke, if we would have bought a house a 30-minute drive down the road in Leeds, we would have been funded for IVF by the National Health Service (NHS). I cried hard at that appointment because, even though we were financially stable, it was still a lot of money to put down for no guarantee. No one was talking about the financial toll IVF can have on families!

We went with an NHS clinic they suggested, which was our first big mistake. I felt like we were basically herded cattle. We didn’t know the doctors, we didn’t know the nurses. We were put in a huge room with ten different couples, with the curtains drawn, and one by one, we women got wheeled in for the egg collection. We collected around 13 eggs and half of them fertilized. By day 3, only four made it, but the embryo quality was so poor and super fragmented.

This was a huge shock to us. How could two high-functioning, healthy people create such poor embryo quality? The doctors just said, “Well, this must be the reason why you’re not getting pregnant.” I had now been diagnosed with low AMH, low embryo quality, and I was 30 years old. In their eyes, there was nothing I could do to improve my situation and I should just try IVF again.

My husband asked, “Are you going to change up the drug regimen protocol or anything?” They responded – NO. That just didn’t sit right with us and I had this deep gut feeling that there was something I could do and what they were saying was BS. We walked away, feeling pretty defeated, but in hindsight, I’m so grateful that we had to pay for our own IVF and that they said there was nothing they were going to change. We most likely would have followed their advice and did it again. Knowing what I know now, I can 100% guarantee that we would have got the same results.

A few months later we were sitting in Hyde Park in London with a friend. He asked us, “Why don’t you change up your diet?” We looked at him, very confused – there was nothing wrong with our diet! He suggested we talk to one of our mutual friends who was a health coach about it. We told him that we couldn’t really financially afford him right then because we had just shelled out thousands of pounds for the failed IVF. He responded, “I will pay for it.” WHAT! That’s how much he believed [and knew] in the power of cellular health. We refused the money but took his advice, and that’s where our health and wellness journey started.

I hired our mutual friend and, after he took a look at my diet, he said, “You’re having way too much sugar.” I was confused; I didn’t eat candy or a lot of sweets, I’m not that type of person. He started showing me all the hidden sugar in my food and told me to start reading my labels. I started reducing my sugar intake and basically went on a paleo diet. I also started to get into yoga and meditation.

It was really hard because I had a type A personality and I just wanted to go, go, go. With yoga, it was painful to just sit there for 15, 20, 30 minutes. I did all this for a year and I can honestly say that my health really, really improved in areas that I didn’t even realize needed improvement. My mental health, my physical health, my gut health, and my stools all improved. Despite all that, I still wasn’t getting pregnant, not ever seeing a positive result, even a glimpse. So, after a year we decided to do another round of IVF.

I found a clinic that was offering immune issues testing, which was very controversial at the time. We told the consulting doctor that we wanted the testing and he advised us that I wasn’t a candidate for it because “You’re not having recurring miscarriages.” I didn’t follow my intuition (our second big mistake) and decided to do another round and see how it went. The difference in embryo quality compared to the last round was absolutely insane – out of 12 eggs collected we had five amazing looking embryos. It seemed like our diet and lifestyle changes had paid off. We transferred the best looking one (without genetic testing), but unfortunately, I didn’t even make it to day 28. I was so upset, it felt like I had spent a year of sacrifice and change for nothing. I went and printed out a surrogacy form and just thought, “My body can’t do this.”

A few weeks later we demanded the immune testing – something that was still heavy on my mind. We discovered that I had elevated natural killer cells (NK cells) which was a big shock given I was SO healthy after a year of improvements, but also a relief – I found my answer to my unexplained infertility! With hindsight, the elevated NK cells were contributing to my poor egg quality and still high enough to attack and reject an embryo in the early stages. We did our first frozen transfer with immunosuppressant drugs, and I got pregnant for the first time in almost six years. When we went in for a week seven scan, there was no heartbeat. This is what they call a missed miscarriage. They offered me a DNC, but I was over people looking up my vagina. I ended up going into mini labor at home alone and passing a 7-week sack a few weeks later. It was devastating to say the least, but after all was said and done, my hope was back. I had finally proved to myself that my body could get pregnant.

I went deeper into diet and lifestyle and asked, “Okay, what can I do if I have an autoimmune issue?” I found the autoimmune paleo diet and discovered that I was highly intolerant to paprika, tomatoes, peppers, and potatoes. All of these were “healthy foods” that I was eating a lot of. I used to make the best chillies and Bolognese, and I love Mexican food. I thought, “Oh my gosh, I’ve been basically causing my infertility!” I stopped eating those foods and within three weeks, my last gut health symptoms were gone! We did another frozen embryo transfer with the immune suppressing drugs and the autoimmune paleo diet, and I got pregnant with our IVF baby. I still had no guidance or support around diet and lifestyle, and I became obsessed and scared that if I ate anything wrong, I would miscarry. I didn’t really have the knowledge at that time that it doesn’t work like that.

We had our baby and, although we were in heaven, I had a really horrendous birth, and ended up having an emergency C-section. When you’re dealing with infertility, you just want to get to the two pink lines. I think there’s not enough talk about how traumatic being pregnant can be after years of struggle. The worry you feel, especially if you’ve dealt with a miscarriage, late loss, stillbirth, or you’ve lost a child, and the amount of work that you have to do through your pregnancy to calm yourself down and be stable is tough. I was so grateful that I had worked on my health and mindset before my first pregnancy and birth – it really supported me through the rough days of postpartum.

When our son was nine months old, we went back to the clinic for our last two embryos. It was another success and I got pregnant, but unfortunately, I had another early miscarriage. This one was much less complex than the first and, to be honest, was no more than a heavy period. It marked the end of eight years of dealing with “infertility” and medical treatments. We knew that we weren’t going back into IVF. It was a very mixed feeling of relief and sadness, all rolled into one. I decided that I was going to keep up my diet and lifestyle because I felt really good on it. I would have loved to go back and get a new set of immune testing to see where my levels were, but it was so expensive, and it didn’t really matter.

Two months later, I was pregnant naturally for the first time ever! It was your typical story of “We Weren’t Trying.” I actually went away on a girls’ weekend when my period was due, but it never showed up. I just thought, “Maybe the miscarriage is still being whacky on my hormones.” A week later, I realized that I had never been this late and tested at home – two dark pink lines quickly showed up! The next four months I dealt with anger, frustration, and confusion. I knew I didn’t have to go through the eight years of infertility BS! Even though diet and lifestyle changes are easy and take time, they’re doable, less invasive, cheaper, and give you so much more than IVF can give you! These feelings were really weird to deal with, because you think that finally getting pregnant naturally means you’re just automatically going to be overjoyed and the past doesn’t matter.

Most women that are dealing with these issues right now are being told that IVF is their only option, and many times, that’s just wrong. It really breaks my heart that people are refinancing their house, or getting into major debt, for something that might not be needed in their life. Also, if they truly need or just want to use IVF, they can increase their chances of success by investing in themselves through diet and lifestyle.

After the birth of my second son, it became super obvious that I had a calling to share all the things I’d gone through and everything that I had learned. I think that my story, which has a lot of moments of failure, is a shining example that your consistent action will create your evidence. I’m not just talking about a natural pregnancy or an IVF pregnancy. I’m talking about how your underlying health and your mental health are so key to pulling you through everything you’ll go through for the rest of your life.

“Whether you think you can or think you can’t, you’re right,” Henry Ford. Pregnancy is very physical – you don’t have to be perfect but you do have to support your body to be able to grow another human being. But it’s actually your mindset and energy that is going to support you to do the physical things you need to do! I now look at the body as a whole – your fertility is not separate from the rest of your body.

Alright, so let’s dig a little deeper into the story – has it been an easy path overall and if not, what were the challenges you’ve had to overcome?

Infertility Diagnosis: After three years of trying naturally, you were diagnosed with unexplained infertility.

Financial and Geographic Barriers: You lived in one of the three counties that didn’t fund IVF, which meant a significant financial burden despite being financially stable.

First IVF Experience: The first IVF experience was impersonal and felt like a cattle call, resulting in poor quality embryos and a failed attempt.

Medical Advice: Doctors suggested trying the same IVF protocol again without any changes, which felt discouraging and unhelpful.

Emotional Toll: The emotional strain of IVF and its financial cost, along with the uncertainty and lack of immediate results, was significant.

Diet and Lifestyle Changes: Undergoing significant diet and lifestyle changes, such as reducing sugar and adopting a paleo diet, required a lot of discipline and effort.

Miscarriages: After a successful IVF attempt, you experienced a missed miscarriage, which was emotionally devastating.
Immune Testing: Initially being advised against immune testing despite your intuition, which later revealed elevated NK cells contributing to infertility.

Health and Wellness Journey: Adopting and maintaining a strict autoimmune paleo diet and lifestyle changes, which included cutting out foods you loved.

Pregnancy Challenges: The physical and emotional challenges of pregnancy after infertility, including an emergency C-section and postpartum difficulties.

Second IVF and Miscarriage: Another successful IVF attempt resulted in an early miscarriage, marking the end of your IVF journey with mixed feelings of relief and sadness.

Natural Pregnancy and Emotional Conflict: Finally getting pregnant naturally after years of infertility led to complex emotions, including anger and frustration over the time and effort spent on treatments.

Thanks for sharing that. So, maybe next you can tell us a bit more about your business?

What should we know?
Finding Fertility was born out of my personal struggles of years of unexplained infertility, failed IVFs and miscarriages. It aims to help others navigate their fertility challenges by addressing the root causes and empowering them to become the conscious mama they were born to be!

What do you do?
I specialize in helping women uncover the root causes of their fertility issues using functional medicine and subconscious empowerment techniques. My holistic approach focuses on both physical and emotional healing to optimize fertility health.

What sets you apart?
I combine functional testing, whole-body health strategies, and subconscious rewiring to address both physical and emotional aspects of fertility. Few fertility health coaches offer such an integrated and thorough method.

What are you most proud of?
I am most proud of living and breathing the principles of Finding Fertility. I didn’t stop after having children; I continue to embody and live by the values of our brand. This ongoing commitment reflects the authenticity and dedication behind my mission.

What do you want readers to know?
I want woman and men to know that they are their own healers. Your body is designed to heal, and it’s about discovering what works best for you. With consistent action and the right guidance, your efforts will yield tangible results. Finding Fertility is here to support and guide you on this journey to optimal fertility health.

Have you learned any interesting or important lessons due to the Covid-19 Crisis?

The Covid-19 crisis has taught me the immense value of following my intuition and using discernment. In a world where it’s easy to follow the crowd, I’ve learned that true wisdom often comes from within. Trusting my gut and making informed decisions, rather than simply going along with the majority, has been crucial. This lesson is especially relevant in the realm of fertility and health, where personal intuition and individualized approaches can make all the difference.

Contact Info:

• Website: https://www.findingfertility.co
• Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/findingfertility/
• Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCARY6ftLoWk5-N9FHVYtzHw
• Other: https://www.tiktok.com/@findingfertility