We recently connected with Mommy Rockstar Bitch and have shared our conversation below.

Hi Mommy Rockstar Bitch , thanks for joining us today. What’s been one of the most interesting investments you’ve made – and did you win or lose? (Note, these responses are only intended as entertainment and shouldn’t be construed as investment advice)

I was majoring in vocal performance at the University of Valley Forge. In 2014, I met my ex husband at college and immediately realized we had artistic chemistry. We played music together everyday. We eventually started our band, Voila!, and began playing shows and recording an EP. At the time, my partner had become addicted to various substances. I was so obsessed with the music and the health of my partner that I took a risk. I dropped out of college, moved us to Philadelphia, and began working and playing music full time. The band evolved into various different projects with my partner and other musicians. We started to gain momentum with our project Geisha Facade and I was extremely excited about the possibility of being a full time artist. Unfortunately, time and time again my partners addiction would cause the downfall of relationships and projects. I was unable to give my all to art because I was providing the sole income for the two of us for six years. I invested so much of my time, money, and emotion in the health of him and our relationship that it became my addiction. I would constantly overlook myself and my art to avoid a conflict with my partner. It took me seven years of loss and hardships to realize this was the worst investment I had ever made. I was constantly investing in someone else before I thought of myself. I have learned so much from this experience in my 20’s. It has truly shaped me as a woman artist. Most of my current art is about the pain I endured during this time. I am thankful for the experience because I know without it I would never have made Mommy Rockstar Bitch. She is the woman that experienced emotional abuse. She is the woman who has experienced trauma. She is the woman who heals everyday by connecting with others who have gone through similar situations. We are not alone. I have learned that even your worst investment can be your best investment. Everything is always working for you as a creative. What people consider bad or traumatic has given me some of my most meaningful pieces of music. Everyday my story has the opportunity to speak to someone experiencing trauma and potentially change their situation. All I ever needed when I was in the thick of that was someone who understood. That’s what I want to do. That’s the good stuff and all of the pain from that bad investment is worth it.

Mommy Rockstar Bitch , before we move on to more of these sorts of questions, can you take some time to bring our readers up to speed on you and what you do?

I am a Philadelphia based artist. I was born in Baltimore and grew up on a farm in Harford County, Maryland. I was attracted to wind chimes as a child and have been doing music for as long as I can remember. I started out singing and playing Piano. Throughout my school years, I learned various different instruments like saxophone, clarinet, bells, etc. I was always involved in talent shows, choir, and band. I have studied classical voice since I was 15 years old. I began writing my own songs when I was in middle school. I remember my first song. I wrote it about a boy I had a crush on in my class, but he was too popular to like me. The song was your typical call out to the jock to pay attention to the weirdo creative girl. I performed it at the middle school talent show in front of the whole school. I think that’s the first time I put my heart into music and it’s been there ever since. I didn’t get the guy, but I did realize my knack for catchy hooks and not caring what others thought about me. Ever since then, I have been writing songs. As time has passed my artistic vision has changed and evolved. I make music for hurt people looking to escape into my world. For so long, I kicked myself for being unable to make happy music, but when I play something happens. I go into my world and linger there for awhile. I love bringing people into my world and just sharing that with them. I want people who are experiencing or have experienced trauma to feel seen by me. I want them to feel like someone who has been there is holding their hand and giving them a world to be themselves. Maybe you need to cry or maybe you want to ruminate on that anger a little longer. I just want to be a sonic experience for people going through that pain and healing.
I feel most proud of my ability to accept the trauma I have experienced. The longer you avoid your pain the bigger the creative blockade becomes. I wasn’t dealing with the aftermath of my abuse, divorce, and lost time. I spent months just self medicating with mania and alcohol. This really deterred me from my creative source. I lost my ability to make something. It wasn’t until I finally looked at myself in the mirror and let the pain wash over me, that I broke down the wall. It’s so funny how people always say cliches about going through pain, but there really is no magic formula for getting better. I think just accepting it and letting yourself feel the way it feels is key. That’s honesty. Honesty is what has made Mommy Rockstar Bitch so important to me. She doesn’t hide herself from the scrutiny of people. She invites you in.

Is there something you think non-creatives will struggle to understand about your journey as a creative? Maybe you can provide some insight – you never know who might benefit from the enlightenment.

I talk about this a lot with other artists, but we constantly feel looked down on for being in service jobs instead of career jobs. As an artist, it is extremely difficult to hold a job that requires more than clocking in and out. It impedes on our ability to give energy to the art. When we go to work it is strictly to pay bills. Our career plan is art. Because of that, I think we get misconstrued as lazy or drop outs. That is just not reality. I have learned to accept that non-creatives may not understand why I am a barista in my 30s because for me I do not want to invest my talents into someone else’s vision. Creatives are so committed to the art that we are ok with the struggle. I wouldn’t trade the time I have with art for stability. It would be nice to pay my bills with my art, but I am ok working a job as long as I have time for my passion. For me, art is my career whether it’s lucrative or not.

What do you find most rewarding about being a creative?

It has taken me years to understand that the reward of art is not in the outcome. For me, the most rewarding aspect of being an artist is the time I spend with my craft. It is really special. I get into a kind of trance when I am making a song. For a short amount of time, it is the only thing. In our world, it is so hard to have something truly captivate your attention. We are so distracted and when something catches my undivided attention and allows me to escape, I feel so much joy. I was driving an uber passenger one afternoon in Philadelphia and I will never forget what he said to me. It changed my whole outlook on being an artist. He said, “The time you spend with your art is everything. All the fans and admiration is ephemeral.” Spending time in my art can never be taken away from me, so that is what’s truly rewarding. It’s like my little secret world that no one can have say in.

Contact Info:

• Instagram: @mommyrockstarbitch
• Youtube: mommyrockstarbitch
• Other: https://mommyrockstarbitch.bandcamp.com

Image Credits

Jacqueline Day