We caught up with the brilliant and insightful Molly Kittle a few weeks ago and have shared our conversation below.

Hi Molly, thanks for joining us today. We’d love to have you retell us the story behind how you came up with the idea for your business, I think our audience would really enjoy hearing the backstory.

In 2017 I started Connect with Story as an experiment at a wellness studio in San Francisco. It soon became a monthly story sharing event, moved online and outdoors during the pandemic, and now we’re exploring spaces all over the bay area, bringing our unique brand of story sharing to people and places that are craving connection.

But it didn’t start as a business.

It was part of my attempt to rediscover my essence and passions beyond my career. Feeling disconnected from my creative self and prioritizing work over health, I realized the need for a different kind of gathering – one that focused on genuine connection.

Many of us question the imbalances in our live-work-love-lives. Thanks to the efforts of our mothers and grandmothers, we have access to careers that seemed impossible to them. Some of us now have the privilege to pause along our path to ask if where we find ourselves is where we belong.

For me, Connect with Story was a precursor to this pause. It started as a series of experiments so I could play with different ways of remembering who I am, what I like, what matters to me – independent from what was important to my career.

More than a decade earlier I’d left my creative life in NYC for a tech adventure in SF. And now, tucked into a corner of my apartment, was a potter’s wheel. On top sat a pile of old theater books and other artifacts from my “former life.” Untouched, year after year, as I prioritized deadlines and networking. If visitors asked, I’d laugh “oh, that’s the corner where dreams go to die.” Humor; the trusty friend who helped me stay out of my feelings. The false belief that I had to leave these parts of me below to make way for upward mobility.

As often happens when we over-work and under-play, I disconnected from my body. I forced myself to perform at intense levels without boundaries, breaks, or the inspiration that would have come from my naturally curious, playful, creative self. Instead, I told those “frivolous” parts to wait until I’d finished this project, gotten the next promotion. But eventually, I couldn’t ignore the pain.

I ended up at an amazing chiropractor. The care and the community I found at Verve Wellness Studio helped make the first steps of this project possible. They offered their space for me to use. They helped spread the word. And people were quick to share their stories as we gathered in this new way.

I didn’t realize it at the time but I’d identified a gap in gatherings. Something that felt familiar but so different than the story slams, open mics, classes, or lectures people were used to.

I’d created something that was more of a conversation, where people were able to stretch and grow and learn and practice and one person’s greatness wasn’t ever to someone else’s detriment. Where you could be inspired and then take that inspiration and immediately use it to fuel your own bravery.

I didn’t set out to create a business. I asked people to join me as I showed up and shared myself; imperfect, unplanned, and vulnerable. I can see now that this gave us all permission to be ourselves – a way of being together we all had been craving.

I hope this conversation with Canvas Rebel can inspire others who are stuck in their “lane” or attached to how things “should” be done, to expand their thinking of what’s possible.

Awesome – so before we get into the rest of our questions, can you briefly introduce yourself to our readers.

We’re on a mission to tap into the power of story to foster connection. The focus of the conversation with Canvas Rebel is mostly on our Connect with Story events, but we also offer workshops, 1:1 and group coaching and we consult with savvy organizations that realize a culture of connection can create better outcomes (employee satisfaction, retention, productivity…).

Connect with Story events are designed to help people build their empathy and connection skills, surrounded by a safe and supportive community. Our events might feel more like workshops where people interact with concepts in context. Humans learn best by doing things together, not sitting passively waiting to be entertained. So we play with the conventional audience and performer roles. Yes. The audience participates.

Before people share stories everyone is meeting each other and playing together. Guidelines and games allow people to quickly connect and easily create together. During the stories the audience is actively listening to the story, scanning for what the story-sharer is doing well. And after each story, people offer their reflections. They tell the story-sharer and the group what they appreciated about the story and how it was told. We do this because “what we appreciate appreciates.” A Lynne Twist quote I love. A reminder that we have the power to lift someone up by focusing on and highlighting what’s good.

Humans are natural storytellers and given the right conditions we default to being supportive and kind. And those conditions don’t have to be overly complex. In fact, the more straightforward and clearly you communicate the expectations of the group, the more everyone can relax into the structures you create to bring out the best in them.

In all our offerings, we encourage people to be present and connected with themselves while engaging authentically with others. By tapping into their why, values, and inspiration, participants find a vision beyond themselves that fuels their voice. This authentic connection to self and others can be a big step toward overcoming challenges like public speaking. By practicing vulnerability and stepping safely out of comfort, the nervous system starts to become more comfortable with discomfort.

It’s great for people who are shy, or introvert-leaning because the format is low risk, meets you wherever you are, and allows you to self-select how far out of your comfort zone you’d like to go. It can be a little step of showing up to have a conversation, get inspired, and maybe share a story next time – or not.

Or on the other end of the spectrum, it’s liberating for those who have created a presentation persona and now hide their authentic voice behind how they think they should sound.

It helps the entrepreneur gain confidence. A lot of brilliant people are uncomfortable speaking in public. And pitching to VCs isn’t the place to build that muscle.

It can be a playground for writers who want to practice reading their work aloud in front of others.

Or if you’re like me, and resist memorizing a script but light up when you speak off the cuff about things you care about.

We all get to practice using our real voices in a safe space. Training our nervous system to learn it’s OK to be our actual selves with other people.

Especially now, these ways of being together feel essential. After years of isolation, many of our social instincts have atrophied, so it’s even more important to do things that strengthen our muscles of empathy, curiosity, and creativity.

I love finding ways for people to connect in creative, authentic, and brave ways. And these events are a great way for anyone to get more comfortable in their own skin, and gain more confidence using their real voice. Which has a profound impact on all areas of people’s lives.

Let’s talk about resilience next – do you have a story you can share with us?

I’m grateful for my background in experimental theater. I think of that training as my foundation for resilience. Improv is recognized beyond the theater world as an effective way to practice adaptability, quick thinking, and flexibility, and see uncertainty as an opportunity. I definitely used those skills in my time working with scrappy startups, both as a doer and a leader. These and other unexpected life experiences have shaped my ability to adapt to the realities of any given space. Invaluable assets on the journey to create Connect with Story.

Resilience is often associated with individual strength, but research has shown that individuals are more resilient when they relate in meaningful ways with other people. It’s in our inherent human nature to seek support and understanding. I can’t say enough about the power of connection to build resilience in all areas of our lives. Johann Hari wrote a book on this called “Lost Connections.” And my experiences with the Connect with Story community have reaffirmed this truth. Our events became a lifeline for so many of us during the pandemic and for me specifically because I was caring for my mother during her battle with cancer. Having a safe place to be seen and heard during that time was critical for our mental health.

The world we live in is filled with uncertainty and change, and the key to navigating it successfully is in our ability to be resilient together. Connect with Story offers a space to learn and practice resilience in the form of curiosity, creativity, and courage. Again and again, when we gather I can see that resilience is a collective strength that blooms through the power of connection.

What’s a lesson you had to unlearn and what’s the backstory?

I keep unlearning and relearning that our worth isn’t determined by how hard we work and our value isn’t based on presenting perfectly.

It takes far more energy and effort to go against our instincts and fit into a mold created by and for somebody else. We’re operating as designed and our natural flow and instincts are valuable guides. Rather than pushing against our feelings, if we lean into what lights us up it will effortlessly energize us.

At some point, we all think there’s something else we should do or be. But we aren’t broken and don’t need fixing. Connect with Story is a celebration of this unlearning. A place to put perfection on pause and bring our essential selves out to play. To see firsthand that our uniqueness is what makes us compelling, mesmerizing, and irreplaceable.

Contact Info:

• Website: https://www.connectwithstory.com/workwithmolly
• Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/connectwithstory/
• Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/connectwithstory
• Linkedin: https://www.linkedin.com/in/mollykittle/

Image Credits
Elisha Rochelle Mark Johann Mark Roa