We’re excited to introduce you to the always interesting and insightful Mo Holloman. We hope you’ll enjoy our conversation with Mo below.
Mo, thanks for taking the time to share your stories with us today What’s the best advice you ever gave to a client? How did they benefit / what was the result? (Please note this response is for education/entertainment purposes only and shouldn’t be construed as advice for the reader)
ADHDers who claim their role as Self-Advocate have the best relationships. As a highly sensitive person with ADHD, you may have slowly lost connection with your own inner-guidance throughout life. The neurotypical world often trains us against our own instincts, both unintentionally and intentionally. As a result, we can tend toward people-pleasing to create outer-harmony which, in turn, results in sacrificing inner-harmony. In childhood, ADHDers can feel like they’re wrong and want to get it right. So, they self-abandon and self-betray to be chosen. That can cause resentment in relationships. It can make you feel like no one wants you for who you truly are…
One of my clients was on vacation with her family. She didn’t know why but her sister was giving her the cold-shoulder. She was ignoring my client. This is a major trigger for my client. Clearly, they had both been triggered. My client, in the heat of rage, booked a flight home and a new hotel room. Her tendency was toward running and isolation. That’s when she text messaged me and we talked it out.
Words and needs unspoken will keep in you repeating patterns and cycles. At some point, if the relationship matters, you have to show up and speak your needs. You have to share your hurt. The fear of rejection and conflict reminds us of the past. It just seems easier to keep the pain hidden and cut off connection with others. The obstacle IS the way, as the stoics say. This IS the moment to make a new choice. Be seen. Discomfort and unpleasant emotions are doable!
We talked it through and discussed what would truly serve her in this moment. She could always leave but what if she asked for a conversation with clear heads and honest emotional vulnerability? So, that’s what she did. She reached out to her sister and they talked it out. It wasn’t easy. It was a little messy, but both parties made a commitment to a NEW way of operating.
She ended up staying on her trip and created beautiful memories. She chose herself. She knew the way through it was the right choice and she followed through.
Best advice: become your best advocate and gently communicate your needs. Deep and open-hearted relationships honor themselves and one another. They choose love over fear.
As always, we appreciate you sharing your insights and we’ve got a few more questions for you, but before we get to all of that can you take a minute to introduce yourself and give our readers some of your back background and context?
My name is Mo. I help Highly Sensitive Women with ADHD get sh*t done and follow through on their goals!
Many women with ADHD feel that their ADHD is a roadblock to their success and potential. We are motivated by our dreams and desires, wildly creative, and have big hearts and deep emotions. We have a legitimate neurodevelopmental disorder that interferes with our cognitive skills. Our brains sometimes feel overwhelmed by traffic with broken traffic lights at multiple intersections. Our emotions can seem to overtake us.
My role is to help you:
– Identify your major goals
– Create a sustainable strategy
– Make consistent progress toward your goals
– Deprogram false & limiting programming
– Reprogram your mindset
– Reconnect you with your emotions for unshakable inner-knowing
– Manage and budget your energy
– Define your needs and boundaries with the outside world & relationships
– Advocate for yourself and honor your capacity
– Become a conscious communicator
What sets me apart from other coaches? You get results! I’ve designed my coaching experience to provide a safe, encouraging container for exploring yourself while fully supported, entirely witnessed, and completely received. You get practice showing up for yourself and immediately apply it to your life.
I’m proud that clients experience what it feels like to have a supportive space to open up and know themselves. Once that happens, they accept nothing less for themselves. They remove all the labels and conditioning. They no longer let the world tell them what they’re allowed to be. They claim the role as MAIN CHARACTER of their life story.
Can you share a story from your journey that illustrates your resilience?
Growing up, I felt like I was unstoppable. With every passing year, it seemed the stakes were raised. Expectations and rules began to feel heavy. There were blocks in the way I naturally showed up in the world. Taking up space felt less and less safe. I started asking big questions about how much I was allowed to be and why my instincts seemed to be off. In the 90s, ADHD was more of a joke. Everyone wanted me to present myself in a more palatable way, but no one could show me how. Why explain myself when no one understands? It was madness and beautiful chaos.
In college, I decided to start fresh. Any story that was told about me before…any joke about my intelligence would never be again. I spent the next few years ripping myself apart. I would become perfect. There will be no trace of struggle. I will be all things to all people. Everyone will love and respect me. You can see where this is going…and unsustainable strategy with a dishonest expression. This went on for years and eventually led me to a full breakdown.
Fast forward past grad school, marriage, divorce, and many career highs and lows. I met an executive leadership coach who changed my life forever. She entered the scene at the point in my life where I started asking new, existential questions. “Who AM I?”
My path of self-discovery started in 2019, and it’s been going since. Today, I embrace and accept myself with self-compassion. I’ve found meaning in my success AND your struggle. I’ve created acceptance and wholeness by removing the labels of “good” and “bad” which can cause internal fragmentation. I practice awareness, observation & intentionality to keep my monkey mind in check and working for me. I set and achieve my OWN aligned goals. I hold myself radically responsible for my choices while loving myself through the harsh truths required to grow. I listen to myself for unshakeable inner knowing. I have a greater balance between my mind and heart, myself and others, giving and receiving. I feel the full spectrum of my human emotional experience with a deep sense of gratitude.
Today, I live in joyful celebration of self!
What’s a lesson you had to unlearn and what’s the backstory?
When there’s a block or barrier, there’s always a way through! Sometimes, I gave up. Sometimes, I fought myself. My ADHD is not the enemy. Acceptance is key. Then, opportunities open.
The backstory is my resilience story. Pulling myself apart wasn’t the answer but it DID teach me how to help motivated women with BIG, juicy goals who are ready to take it to the next level!
Contact Info:
- Website: https://calendly.com/maincharactercoachmo/questions
- Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/maincharactercoach
- Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/maincharactercoach
- Linkedin: https://www.linkedin.com/company/main-character-coach/
- Youtube: https://youtube.com/@maincharactercoach
Image Credits
Tim Toms Photography