We recently connected with Mistress Deep Love and have shared our conversation below.

Mistress, thanks for joining us, excited to have you contributing your stories and insights. What’s the backstory behind how you came up with the idea for your business?

Female Domination is not new. It is still considered taboo, especially in this part of the U.S.! There is so much misunderstanding related to BDSM and Domination, which is what kept me from exploring this side of me until age 39. I had always been intrigued by aspects of this lifestyle, but everyone around me thought it was strange, so I took that on, and I never fully explored it.

I was just going about my life as a yoga instructor, personal trainer, and spiritual advisor for the last 10 years. I loved it and I was good at it, but I just wasn’t getting the reciprocation needed for all that I did. In other words, I couldn’t pay the bills and I was working a lot!

I was also in a toxic relationship that was draining me. I thought to myself “I am so much better than this guy and I really should be paid for my ability to hold this kind of space for men!” I broke up with that guy, and my girlfriend suggested I try this Domination thing out- just over the phone- very discreetly. So I did… and it was unbelievably natural and empowering. I absolutely fell in love from the beginning. I finally had found my people!

Based on media, social programming, and my religious upbringing, I had a completely misdirected comprehension of what Female Domination encompassed. After a few Domination calls, it felt like I was on the brink of another Awakening (my first in 2012 when I got sober). I set aside a day to meditate, check in with myself and my motives, and took time with myself. That is when I realized that my mission as a Dominatrix was a bit… anomalous. I got to work and learned how to do the work in person, which was even more gratifying.

I truly feel that my success as a Professional Dominatrix is due to my deep spiritual practice and my mission to truly help humanity- perhaps not the norm for many Dommes out there.

At its basis for me, domination and submission play are about mutual respect, clear communication, trust, and intentional, beautiful relationships. Spiritually based Dommes are rare. It is what the industry needs.

Humanity is going through a Great Awakening right NOW! Women are the leaders of this, as we have endured centuries of hardship and inequality. We have been doing the work to clear and heal our ancestral trauma. Although the work is never done while we are here on earth, we are currently in the Return of the Divine Female. The divine masculine is next. I know men are going through a lot right now, and the only way out is through. What men really need is a safe woman to be themselves with. This is a niche among the BDSM world. To simplify, my mission is to teach men how to surrender to powerful woman AND for them to learn how to serve the women around them more passionately and deeply.

This is why I gave myself the name Mistress Deep Love. The work that I do is about Depth and Love.

As always, we appreciate you sharing your insights and we’ve got a few more questions for you, but before we get to all of that can you take a minute to introduce yourself and give our readers some of your back background and context?

I am a Sensual Dominatrix. I enjoy playing in the spiritual and psychological realms as my structure within a session and/or virtual trainee. I enjoy enlightening new men and couples. If someone has never played this way- I feel it is important to educate them on communication and consent. There are misconceptions regarding fetishes and BDSM play that I feel is my duty to help new people understand. I would love to give some examples, so here are a few:

-As a lifestyle and Pro-Domme, I am not cold-hearted and mean- most of us are not. I have one of the biggest and kindest hearts out there!
-I do not walk around in latex! While I enjoy fetish-wear at times, if you ran into me at the grocery store, I’ll be in yoga pants and a sweatshirt.
-I have A LOT of healing to do myself and I am not always “on”. I often work through feelings of doubt, confusion, pain, and anxiety. I am a human being, constantly doing my own personal work as well.
-submissives have every right to say no at any time during a session and/or relationship. Healthy Dominant/submissive relationships are built on trust and communication with the intention to empower and ENRICH each other’s lives, not take away happiness, abuse power, or make choices without consent.
-submissives may ask for what they need when going over negotiations- communication is KEY.
-Both Dommes and submissives have the right to set boundaries.

I am most proud of my intentionality and of the direction my business is going. I am a go-with-the-flow and do-as-I-say kind of woman haha! I do a lot of things perfectly and I make a lot of mistakes. The ultimate question that I am always wanting to answer in my business is “how can I heal shame within me and help heal shame in others around me.” Shame is an emotion wrought with fear. It is not how humans are meant to live- we are meant to live in Love with ourselves and those around us- free from fear.

I have a lot of plans such as creating a structured training program for new Female Dominatrices, and I am about to roll out two tiers for Female Domination coaching for men led by me. I plan to offer a virtual experience where they learn how to better surrender to women and better serve the women around them. My partner and I are also creating an online store with BDSM toys and implements that help newbies connect with their Dominant and/or submissive side.

Learning and unlearning are both critical parts of growth – can you share a story of a time when you had to unlearn a lesson?

I started another business in the past and it went well until my ego got in the way. The business I have now- Professional Domination- hit a wall where I could have given up again or check my ego.

When I start something, I do it with everything in me. Unfortunately, I have a perfectionist in me (as most of us do!) to the level of burn out. I have noticed this happens too often, especially in this industry, among other Dommes. It takes a lot of time, energy, and effort to cultivate and hold space within the relationships as a Dominatrix.

I also have a chronic pain issue that I have been working to heal and if I don’t take care of my needs first, I get very sick. As a society, we are taught to do and go hard no matter what the cost and this had become debilitating for me. Regardless of my financial goals, I have unlearned my need to work so hard and please everyone. Setting boundaries is not only healthy for me but for everyone I encounter, as it teaches them how to treat me.

Any thoughts, advice, or strategies you can share for fostering brand loyalty?

While I am always learning and growing in this area regarding my duties with responsiveness and brand loyalty, this topic is one of the most important aspects of the business I am creating. I have learned a lot the hard way- especially by giving too much of my time and energy where it is not reciprocated, then feeling drained and resentful.

To start, I have a thorough “getting to know you” process including a free discovery phone call. On this call, I ask them specific questions about themselves, and I share information about who I am as a person, about who I am as a Domme, and what my mission is in the world of Domination and BDSM. I may even educate them if they are new to this world. I share my limits and I have them share their limits. Even in this ever-growing virtual life, I require a real-time phone call which is not common! I will be honest if we are a good fit or not, and if I have the skills and interests that align with theirs. I follow up with a detailed online application. It is common for people to call me and feel nervous or embarrassed regarding their fetishes and kinks, so filling out the form is another way for them to express their needs.

I often check in on them after a session, also known as after-care, and I continue communication between sessions. Some clients have turned into dear friends.

For me, Professional Domination is not just about someone paying me to whip them. My goal with every new prospect turn client is to foster long-term, healthy relationships.

Contact Info:

• Website: www.themistressdeeplove.com
• Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/mistress_deep_love/