We were lucky to catch up with Miguel Berlingeri recently and have shared our conversation below.
Miguel, appreciate you joining us today. We’d love to hear the backstory behind a risk you’ve taken – whether big or small, walk us through what it was like and how it ultimately turned out.
I am fifty-four years old and just graduated from Full Sail University with a Bachelors of Science in Film Production. I left a six figure job as a construction project manager to pursue this desire to make movies that has lived within me for forty-eight years. Acting is now my passion and am moving from Florida to Los Angeles in order to further that pursuit. In the midst of the strikes and economy in California, and the nation, I’m going there like countless others have gone with the same desire- usually much younger. This pursuit has opened a new world of creative pursuit and understanding of what truly makes me happy. I’m creative and am only now beginning to understand and feel that creative energy within myself and seek it out in others in kind.
Great, appreciate you sharing that with us. Before we ask you to share more of your insights, can you take a moment to introduce yourself and how you got to where you are today to our readers.
I spent over twenty-five years in the construction industry in one facet or another culminating in finally owning my own business; that is before I decided go to college and change career paths. I graduated from Full Sail University with a Bachelor of Science in Film Production and fell in love with acting. Full Sail doesn’t have an acting program so I read and acted in as many short films that would cast me and in a year i was able to do over twenty-five short films. I’m now in the process of moving from Winter Park Florida to Los Angeles California in further pursuit of my goal of being a professional actor. In order to make this happen there was a lot that had to happen. I served in the Marine Corps and was part of Operations Desert Storm – Desert Shield serving honorably in combat but that didn’t come without a price. I suffered PTSD and attempted suicide in 2019, my ex-wife and her son found me and saved my life. My life is different now but it didn’t come without hard work- probably the hardest work i had to do. Digging into oneself to face the traumas of the past in order to see a brighter future is painful. I started the process after I hit rock bottom in 2011. My past, even before the Corps was unfortunately full of sexual, mental, and physical abuse and I attempted suicide in 1988- my best friend and his mother saved me after exiting the Marines in 1992 I attempted a little acting and background work but my inability to see the good within myself and taking rejection as personal failure, and the fact I was a newly wed that needed to work to support his wife put an end to that. My then wife and I divorced and in June of 1998 I moved to Amsterdam where I lived until December of 1999.
When I returned from Europe I was still suffering from PTSD but I was using alcohol and drugs to cope. I got married had a daughter and got divorced after my DUI in 2011. I began to make amends to everyone I could recall ever hurting – it took years- but it helped to free me of the guild and shame for the damage I caused. I continued to get better and sought professional help and even began taking antidepressants in 2016. Unfortunately taking those pills made things worse for me- even while working on mindfulness and maintaining my desire to get better I felt worse and in May of 2019 I fashioned a noose and hung. myself in my ex-wife’s bathroom. Fortunately she felt something inside her telling her to go check on me, she found me hanging and with the help of her son they removed the noose from my neck and I came to.
Depression is something a lot of people are dealing with and I hope my story can help others but if I am being honest i have to tell you how I recovered and am where I am today. I did the work- the hard work of facing the traumas of my past that were done to me, but also to face those that i had caused trauma to and while i felt better spiritually my mind was still against me, and even though I was smiling on the outside, I was planning my final suicide attempt. In November of 2020 I took a road trip that lasted thirty-five days and visiting ten states. I met with Marine Corps buddies i haven’t seen since ’92 and met new friends along the way but in the midst of this I decided I would take my life on my 55th birthday. Well, as I was traveling I met this very interesting lady who upon hearing about my depression asked if I had heard of the use of psilocybin on people with severe depression and the positive results- which I had but was unsure of. We ended up at her friends house who was practiced in guiding people and twelve hours later I was transformed. I’m here confident in my ability to be a better human, to love myself, to be mindful of others and what they might be going through because of that one day and the hard work I put cleaning up my past. I honestly believe it was a combination of the mushrooms realigning my mind but also the work I did prior to the event. Had I not cleaned out my closet I believe I would’ve began suffering again. I can only hope that this story helps others that have felt or suffered within their own minds.
What’s a lesson you had to unlearn and what’s the backstory?
The lesson I had to unlearn was that I wasn’t worthy of happiness. My childhood and adulthood were plagued my own insecurities driven by those that were supposed to protect and nurture me. It took me longer to realize that I am the arbiter of my feelings. It took a lot of work and some medicine in order to fully comprehend but I am here to tell you- when you get up every morning you have a choice on how you speak to yourself- do you speak positive affirmations or are you belittling yourself- trust me it makes a huge difference. I appreciate you for reading this- I appreciate you for being who you are- no one else can- I appreciate you for the struggle you have to go through and I know you can do it.
Is there a particular goal or mission driving your creative journey?
My goal in this creative journey is to show others that there is another way out of the hole depression can sink you into. I suffered long enough and am grateful that I have found a creative avenue in acting that has allowed me to explore my feelings and use the traumas and joys of my past to help others laugh and forget about their trouble for a while; but to also help show others that are still struggling a path out. Healing isn’t easy- facing the traumas and abusers in your life can drive people to uncharacteristic behaviors but getting to the other side is the most freeing experience. My goal is to help other achieve the same kind of freedom I have been feeling daily since November of 202o when everything changed.
Contact Info:
- Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/berlingerimiguel_1/
- Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/miguelberlingeri3/
- Linkedin: https://www.linkedin.com/in/miguel-berlingeri-91284422a/
- Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fIKILoxkAAM&t=37s
- IMDb: https://m.imdb.com/name/nm13885747/
Image Credits
Mauricio ‘Mo” Vega Emmet Dixon