Alright – so today we’ve got the honor of introducing you to Michelle Valiukenas. We think you’ll enjoy our conversation, we’ve shared it below.

Michelle, looking forward to hearing all of your stories today. Often the greatest growth and the biggest wins come right after a defeat. Other times the failure serves as a lesson that’s helpful later in your journey. We’d appreciate if you could open up about a time you’ve failed.

Most people wouldn’t look at this as a failure on my part, but I have struggled a lot with not blaming myself and/or thinking I have failed when my body couldn’t get pregnant and when I lost a baby to miscarriage, and then with my second child, my body developed preeclampsia, and didn’t allow my daughter Colette to grow appropriately. When it is happening inside your body, it is very hard not to assume that you failed and that you could have done something differently. I know logically it is not true, but it is hard to navigate that.

That feeling like I had failed made things particularly difficult when the nonprofit I launched in my daughter Colette’s memory hit snags along the way. For me, it wasn’t just about the nonprofit succeeding or not succeeding, it was tied to my success or failure as Colette’s mom. So when it took awhile to get out the word about our work or when there were silly obstacles, I struggled because it felt like an all-encompassing failure.

Michelle, before we move on to more of these sorts of questions, can you take some time to bring our readers up to speed on you and what you do?

I am a mom of three–two angel babies and one living child who will be 3 in July 2023. My journey to parenthood was not easy. My husband and I dealt with unexplained infertility and went through IVF. I got pregnant on my first round of IVF and then miscarried. While pregnant for the second time, after our third round of IVF, I was hospitalized at 21 weeks after a standard OB appointment revealed a blood pressure reading of 188/110. I spent a little over three weeks in the hospital before the doctors recommended delivery. I gave birth via emergency c-section to Colette at 24 weeks, 5 days, and measuring small for her gestational age. Colette was whisked off to the NICU where she spent her short life of nine days before gaining her angel wings.

In the aftermath of my daughter’s death and inspired by my journey and the desire to create a legacy for Colette, my husband and I founded a nonprofit, The Colette Louise Tisdahl Foundation, which I run full-time. The mission is to improve outcomes of pregnancy, childbirth, prematurity, and infancy, as well as aid in the grieving process through financial assistance, education, and advocacy.

I still wanted a living child and searched high and low for a reason as to why I had developed preeclampsia and a solution for avoiding it happening in a future pregnancy. With no answers and no real plan, we tried again with no success until I finally admitted how terrified I was to be pregnant again. We used a gestational carrier to bring home our son, Elliott, in July 2020.

I am most proud of what we have accomplished in less than five years. We have helped over 1,700 families across the nation and given away more than $1 million in grants.

Any stories or insights that might help us understand how you’ve built such a strong reputation?

I have been very open, honest, and vulnerable. I share my story not just to share my story, but also to speak for those who may feel like they can’t share their own story. I also constantly ask for feedback, from clients, partners, and others. I have done surveys regularly and encourage people to give me feedback as we go.

In the very beginning, I think one of the things that really helped us stand out as an organization was when someone referred a client to our financial assistance program, I would send them a handwritten thank you note with my business card. I think doing that helped to ensure that those referring thought of us first. It took time, but I think it was more than worth it.

How about pivoting – can you share the story of a time you’ve had to pivot?

I think the biggest pivot for me was starting our nonprofit. I had worked in the nonprofit industry for my entire career, but after my daughter died, I didn’t want to go back to my job and I didn’t even want to be in the field anymore. It was me navigating how to be a mom to a child who was not physically here and how I wanted that to look that caused me to pivot and say I want to start and run my own.

Contact Info:

• Website: www.colettelouise.com
• Instagram: @colettelouisetisdahl
• Facebook: @colettetisdahl
• Twitter: @thetisdahl
• Youtube: @thecolettelouisetisdahlfou3831