We caught up with the brilliant and insightful Michelle McCown-Luster a few weeks ago and have shared our conversation below.
Michelle, thanks for taking the time to share your stories with us today One of our favorite things to hear about is stories about the nicest thing someone has done for someone else – what’s the nicest thing someone has ever done for you?
As I sit here and think about the kind thing somebody has done for me. The owner and CEO of the Dock Ellis Foundation pops into mine. At the time I met the CEO, Jasmine Lee Ellis, and the Dock Ellis Foundation team, it was a broken moment in my life, my sister, Niqui Mccown, who has been a missing person for twenty-two years was still missing, and everything that I worked to achieve to find her and bring her home had made me feel like it was all for nothing, because she still was missing. Then I met the Dock Ellis Foundation, I told my story to them, and all that I had tried to do to find my sister to bring her home, I talked to Podcasters newspaper news reporters, and national TV shows, joined organizations, became a missing person advocate for years and helped other families. It all seems like everything I was trying to accomplish I was accomplishing nothing. I spoke to the Dock Ellis Foundation, and when I spoke to the ladies, they gave me hope, but it was Jasmine Lee Ellis, who was the most helpful out of all the ladies I spoke to. She was straight to the point. She always seems to say the right things and makes me think about everything that I was doing right or wrong. Even with harsh criticism at times, but positive outcomes, she also gives me courage, she sees something in me I don’t see in myself. She has allowed me to use my painful story to help others who may be going through what my family has gone through for twenty-two years. I’m so grateful to Jasmine Lee, Ellis, and her mother, who is the COO of the foundation, Mrs Ellis. They go above and beyond for these families of missing loved ones, and they fight so hard for the missing. So when they asked me to join their team I was honored, I did not hesitate to say yes. As I said, I’ve worked with a lot of organizations, and each person that I have worked with in the past twenty-two years has molded me in some kind of way. But the biggest impact in my life has come from the Dock Ellis Foundation, and one of the best people on the job for missing minorities, I would say, is Jasmine Lee Ellis. She has taught me so much about fighting for the missing persons. She has given me a reason to not only continue to fight for my sister but to use my pain for a purpose.
Great, appreciate you sharing that with us. Before we ask you to share more of your insights, can you take a moment to introduce yourself and how you got to where you are today to our readers?
Twenty-two years ago my life was broken into pieces. My sister, my best friend was and still is a missing person. It turned my family upside down, her daughter was nine years old at the time of her disappearance. My entire family was just broken. I had to step in and do something. I was determined to find my sister. I put my life on hold and just focused on bringing her home to my mother and father and most importantly her daughter. Twenty-two years later, we are still fighting to bring her home. We have done national news shows, local media, and podcasts, joined organizations, spoken to governors, and written letters to the president. Whatever we could think of we were doing to find my sister. The most powerful part of what I was doing was the people I was meeting along the way. I’ve met some beautiful people who have molded me to be who I am today. But it wasn’t until I met the Dock Ellis Foundation did I felt like my voice was being heard, and I could apply what I have learned over the past twenty-something years to help other families that have missing loved ones. So I was determined to use my story and my pain for a purpose. The Dock Ellis Foundation has given me this opportunity to use my pain as a purpose. You see, when you have a loved one missing all you want to do is get someone to listen, because not knowing is the most painful feeling that any family can go through. You need someone to listen, feel, and hear your pain, and also offer their hand to help you get through those very hard days. That’s what I got from the Dock Ellis Foundation, and that’s what I want to give to families that I have met being outreach coordinator for the Dock Ellis Foundation /missing person advocate. I hear these families, I listen to their story, and sometimes the story that they are telling me I feel so deep in my soul, it’s triggering. It brings me back to July 22, 2001, when my sister became a missing person. I put all that aside because the last thing I ever want someone to feel is what I have been feeling for twenty-two years, so I use my pain as a purpose. I give my all to these families and I hope their outcome will be bringing their loved ones home. We’ve had a lot of success stories bringing missing persons home. However the most painful thing is when we find a loved one, but they will not be coming home. So I think that I have a way to speak with families that have missing loved ones that may resonate with them that others may not have. Sometimes when you’re going through things you need someone by your side that knows what you’re feeling. When I meet these families, I know what they are feeling, I know that not knowing where your loved one is is eating them up. I know that feeling like law enforcement is not doing enough hurts deeply, also why can’t their loved one get national media attention, what do I have to do to get someone to listen? I know that feeling I can relate to that feeling I live that life also. So that’s what I use to help my communities and abroad, I would just consider myself a woman fighting to bring her sister home, using my pain to help others who also are living the life of not knowing where their loved one is. Using my pain for a purpose. So the Dock Ellis Foundation is an organization that helps families who have missing loved ones. We help minorities look for their missing loved ones. I have come to realize this after looking for my sister for twenty-two years. People who look like us have a hard time getting people to listen. You don’t see brown and black young ladies on the national news, you don’t see the communities coming together to fight for them or law enforcement working hard to find them. So the Dock Ellis Foundation is your hope, we listen, we fight for your loved one, and we’re here to support you. That’s what we offer and I can guarantee that you will feel not only hopeful working with us, but you will gain a family and a team that will continue to fight until your loved one is home.
We’d love to hear a story of resilience from your journey.
On July 22, 2001, my life was torn upside down as my sister and best friend became an endangered missing person. My life stood still for a moment. I knew I had to do everything in my power to find my sister and to bring her home, to her daughter, my parents, and my family. So after speaking to a lady from an organization who has a missing child, she suggested my family do whatever we could do to keep Niqui in the news. I knew I had to put that plan into place. Unfortunately, this lady did not look like me. So getting her on the news would be challenging, but I continued to fight to make that happen. Niqui has been seen on the local news, on national news shows, in podcasts, in magazines, and books. I remember a sheriff told me that schools were using the Niqui case in law classes all around the country. That made me proud to know even as a missing person Niqui is still making a difference. With that being said my sister is still missing. I have a goal in place, that is to bring my sister home. During the last twenty-two years, I’ve learned so much and have met so many wonderful people. So I took my pain and turned it to purpose. I worked with several organizations being a missing person advocate for families that feel like my family. It’s been a struggle and I have realized that it’s a lot harder for young women that look like me. You see there’s a thing called white woman syndrome. I will not get into it, I would just tell you that between, the media, law enforcement, and community. There are a lot of things that get in the way and less chance for minorities to be found. The National media is looking for a story, and most of the women that they do stories on do not look like me, law enforcement can only do so much if the information isn’t given to them, but unfortunately, people who look like me are scared to speak to police, so then you got a lot of people in my community that feel like if you speak to the police, you are a stitch. There have been a lot of challenges we have faced searching for Niqui, but the fight still must go on. So when I met the ladies at the Dock Ellis Foundation, a group of women, who have different stories, listening to me tell my story, I felt blessed. The CEO Jasmine Lee Ellis is one of the most amazing women I have ever met in my entire life, she’s so determined to bring justice to women who are going through anything. If you are a missing person or you’re being treated unfairly she will fight for you and give her all. When I found out that she wanted me to join her team I did not hesitate to say yes. But as days passed I would get a phone call and it was Jasmine and Mrs. Ellis, her mother. Not only did they want me to be a volunteer for the organization, but they also wanted me to be on their board. I could not believe what I was hearing. I did not hesitate. I immediately said yes. I have learned more from these women in the short time that I’ve known them than I have in the twenty-two years that I’ve been searching for my sister. I think sometimes bad things happen for God to use you in those terrible situations. So your sad story can help someone else. So it’s like your pain becomes a purpose! The Dock Ellis Foundation saw something in me that I have never seen in myself. After twenty-two years of not knowing, I must continue to be resilient and fight for what I believe in, you see my sister deserves to be found, she deserves to be treated like any other missing person case, so I was not and will not ever give up searching for her. I don’t care how long it takes me. One day you will hear me screaming from the mountain tops“Martin Luther King ” would say, “But I will be saying Niqui has been found.
We often hear about learning lessons – but just as important is unlearning lessons. Have you ever had to unlearn a lesson?
The biggest lesson that I’ve learned over the past twenty-two years, is if you give up your beat. I remember as a child my father used to tell me and my sister all the time to continue to fight for what we believe, and if you give up your beat. I realize how true that statement is. You see you have to continue to fight no matter how hard the fight is, you may hear no a thousand times, but you still must continue to fight until you hear that one yes. You see it may be that one yes that changes your life forever or should I say for the better. Do you know how many times I’ve heard no over the last years? I’ve heard it so many times that it was weighing heavy on me, but at those times I can hear my dad screaming “If you give up your beat”. My dad lives in heaven now, but I still feel him strongly in everything I do. So I pushed myself until those hundred no’s turned into that one yes. My mother used to say it’s not how much money you have that matters, it’s who you know. Even though my mother and father have passed on, they still play a big part in the search for my sister, Niqui, and now that her daughter is of age she has taken the lead in her mother’s case. We won’t give up. I know I for sure won’t give up, because no matter what I will fight for my sister, and I will turn every no into a yes. This determination isn’t just for Niqui, but all the missing Niquis in the world. That not knowing is a pain I never want anyone to have to go through. The lesson I learned over these years is to never give up and continue to fight even if you fall and get back up. If the road you’re taking is bumpy and makes it hard to go forward just keep your foot on the pedal and move forward and if you’re not driving continue to walk straight ahead that bumpy road will be smooth very soon just don’t give up.
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