We caught up with the brilliant and insightful Michelle Carson a few weeks ago and have shared our conversation below.
Michelle, thanks for taking the time to share your stories with us today What was the most important lesson/experience you had in a job that has helped you in your professional career?
Stories are how we connect to one another. We are the writer, director, star of our own life drama, and the other actors in our lives are here to help us heal old emotional wounds. It can be hard to see this at first when we’re dealing with an adversary, but if we learn how to unpack our storylines, we can see them from another’s perspective. Even though It feels like our vantage point is the only right view, in reality there are many truths – aka free will.
Relationships are where a majority of our healing happens, and expectations are a big component. When there is a gap between what you wanted to happen and what actually did, lots of emotions can arise. Disappointment, anger, judgement. These feelings are sent to alert you that you have a storyline that needs healing, which is exactly what happened for me when I entered Corporate America.
As a highly sensitive person, Corporate America was a stark contrast to my personality, and understandably so due to the nature of its environment. I can now clearly see it was used to help heal the idea that my sensitivity was a thorn in my side. Because it turned out to be a superpower!
I was placed on a team with one of the office’s top producers and he was hard core to say the least. He held Monday morning meetings where we sat around the table waiting for our turn to be interrogated. Over time, the rebel in me came out. When he tried to use his position to overpower me, I pushed back and hard.
I noticed over time that he treated everyone like this – people outside our team and our office, even his family. It began to dawn on me. His behavior had nothing to do with me and everything to do with him. I started to develop compassion for him. There was some anger that he wanted to get out and the only way he’d figured out so far was to spew it all over everybody else.
I made a decision – I was going to learn not to react in the moment. To breathe through his confrontational moments. Then at a later time (when he was cooled off), I privately discussed with him the facts of the situation and expressed in no uncertain terms I was not going to be treated so disrespectfully.
Unknowingly, I started to lead by example. Our Monday morning meetings became less contentious. We all developed more successful relationships once we weren’t in competition with one another. By learning to use discernment over judgement I stopped that cycle of behavior. Now, in all truth, I eventually left that job because there was only so much he was willing to take responsibility for, but I left having learned great life lessons.
People’s behavior has more to do with them than it does with you.
Seeing this truth helps you develop compassion for their pain.
When you don’t react in the moment, you can have more fruitful conversations.
If those conversations don’t lead to more respect in your relationship, you need to protect yourself and leave.
You do so by choosing discernment of who gets the privilege of being in your life.
Judgement only keeps you in a cycle of dysfunction.
So you have to ask yourself – do you want to be right or to be happy? The choice is always yours!
Michelle, love having you share your insights with us. Before we ask you more questions, maybe you can take a moment to introduce yourself to our readers who might have missed our earlier conversations?
My work is based in EQ or Emotional Quotient, which is the measurement of Emotional Intelligence.
Emotional Intelligence is referred to as the ability to recognize, evaluate and regulate your own emotions,
emotions of those around you and in groups of people.
As kids we are taught how to develop our IQ but seldom are we taught how to develop our EQ. Yet EQ is equally if not more instrumental for your lifelong success.
We all have a story, and within our stories are healing opportunities. By uncovering the message from our emotions, we learn how to unpack our stories. As a result, we increase our Emotional Intelligence by:
– Creating High Self-esteem
– Garnering Healthier Relationships
– Responding to Setbacks with Resiliency
My name is Michelle Carson. I am the owner and founder of Be Brave Be You, a certified life coach specializing in Emotional Intelligence and a Best-Selling Author. My passion is spreading Emotional Alchemy. Be Brave enough to heal from your story to live the best version of your life. When we don’t we can become servants to our emotions, but I teach how to master them.
I have written a book that explains how to unpack your story to heal: EQ is the New IQ: The Key to Unlocking Higher Self-Confidence, Manageable Expectations, and Successful Relationships
I also have an online companion course to the book, along with personal coaching. Where I coach around how to take responsibility for your life – through Intentional Living and Healing Emotional Wounds.
What’s a lesson you had to unlearn and what is the backstory?
From a very early age I felt like I didn’t belong and something was wrong with me. I know now I am an HSP (Highly Sensitive Person) but at the time I didn’t know this label nor did I understand it. Because I was so sensitive, it led to years of bullying and being made fun of. As I grew, so did my lack of confidence.
Fate has a habit of leading us in ways we don’t often expect. That is exactly what happened to me when I embarked on a healing journey to find out what was “wrong” with me. I started reading self-help books. I learned that I had to take responsibility and ownership for my part in these challenges. I had to look at my belief system to discover how I attracted these life circumstances.
My negative relationships and my outside life were never going to change unless I changed my inside life. As I shifted my internal dialogue, how I felt on the inside, my outside world followed suit. Ironically what I discovered was that nothing was wrong with me at all. I held the power all along to change how I felt about myself, once I found tools for personal transformation.
Would you choose the same career?
My healing journey led me to my life’s purpose – to teach life skills that foster Emotional Intelligence. When you learn how to use the power of your mind and the power of your thoughts to achieve your goals, you can maneuver through life’s ups and downs with grace. Most importantly, you learn how to turn perceived obstacles into growth opportunities.
Emotional Intelligence has changed my life, a literal 180. I went from perceiving the world as a place where things happen to me to a world where anything is possible. This has brought me so much healing, love and joy that it’s my passion to share with others what I’ve learned.
You see people, places and things we encounter in life are just that – people, places and things. In other words, they are neutral. We are the ones that place emotions and opinions on them. So if we create “the story”, we can decide how the story unfolds. If we don’t like how we feel, then we have the power to Change the Narrative. And that is what my coaching practice is all about.
What I’ve discovered as a coach is that we can be so immersed in our own personal story line that is it hard to see the bigger picture. And when you have been hurt, rightfully so. You have every right to feel every emotion that you have. It’s what you do with those feelings that either keep you stuck or move you towards healing. This is why I am so passionate about coaching, because I teach mindset developmental skills – the brain science behind the power of your mind by targeting unhealthy thought patterns.
We each have a journey in our life to fulfill and it is as unique as our fingerprints. Now life isn’t without challenges but if you are equipped with the right coping skills, you can create anything you want in your life. You can move past insecurities, unhealthy relationships and even disappointments to live the beautiful, bright life you deserve!
Contact Info:
- Website: www.BeBraveBeYou.org
- Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/bebravebeyou_org/
- Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCb7ZQ7SGyqidXIUFgMtaZmA
- Other: My Book, EQ is the New IQ – https://www.amazon.com/dp/B09HJGR876
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