We were lucky to catch up with Michael Blackard recently and have shared our conversation below.

Hi Michael, thanks for joining us today. Was there a defining moment in your professional career? A moment that changed the trajectory of your career?

The birth of Friend’em came after I reached my “Dream Job”…then got laid off less than 6 months later.

I’m a person that is all about multiplying the smiles in the room. It is what I am on this plane of existence to do.

I did a good amount of volunteering and theatrical hobbies growing up. Especially as I got older, I recognized they were not just fun things to do, It made people feel good. I learned a lot about so many different people doing both. I landed the role of Fritz in Ballet Austin’s The Nutcracker two weeks after starting ballet when I was about 13. I got an award from the President of the United States for the volunteering I did when I graduated high school. I have consistently sought out opportunities to bring smiles to people’s faces. Picking a career in video games was a no brainer.

I have been in the games industry for 16 years, and my dream was to work on the cinematics. It was the merging of my technical side with my creative “showman” side. I spent a decade working to become a Producer, a type of project administrator and team rallyer rolled into one. My style is all about people and process. If the process helps people get to the parts of the job they love most, the happier they are. Therefore, the happier the team, the better the products turn out! Throughout my career, I noticed a staggering amount of loneliness, self-inflicted isolation, and self-deprecation. Being the extroverted social butterfly that I am, I became quite a few teammates’ cheerleader! Conversely, when I started at Firaxis Games as a Cinematics Producer working on Marvel’s Midnight Suns, it was my turn to be cheered.

I loved that job. I loved that team. I loved what I was working on. It was surreal getting the job of my dreams and getting to take it in. It was devastating losing the position. It was heartbreaking but what softened the blow was the outpour of support I got.

Then it dawned on me…most people don’t have many friends. Some people don’t have any friends. I thought myself lucky. That thought was quickly replaced with “I am but I cultivated this and I made friends easily. In fact, I’ve taught people how to connect with others”. I started doing research and along the way, talked to one of my therapist friends. When I asked him what he thought about me starting a friendship coaching business, he grabbed me by both sides, eyes wide, and said “Yes. Do that!”

I’m so thankful that I got to have my dream job and that my next dream job came immediately after it!

As always, we appreciate you sharing your insights and we’ve got a few more questions for you, but before we get to all of that can you take a minute to introduce yourself and give our readers some of your back background and context?

I am a Panamanian-American gender expansive gay AuDHD person. Short Version: I’m sunshine. I walk many worlds and I aim to be “holistically authentic” anywhere I go. I think it best to be “you” while keeping in mind the impact you have on the world.

I am also a “we are great” type of person. I like the idea that positivity begets more positivity. Many of the initiatives I’m working on or activities I frequent are laced with this ideal.

Given my pursuits in entertainment and public service, one of the biggest issues I want to tackle is loneliness with a close second being impostor syndrome. Have I or do I currently grapple with both of those things? Yes, and I think I can help others with what I’ve learned through my journeys.

A saying I love to teach people is “Know your brand. Own your space”. I learned the “Own your space” portion from my family in Panama. Driving down there versus here in Texas are two very different beasts. At the time of this visit a few decades ago, you really just had to, as my family put it, “own your space” if you wanted to cross the street. So, of course, I started just saying the phrase any time I had to just wing something. Over time, it became a prideful statement – a call to myself to stand in my power, and understand how amazing I am. You have to know what power you have. You gotta learn about your strengths and wants. Hone it. Refine them! “Know your brand. Own your space” has become something I impart to others to remind themselves of how wonderful they are and to actively stand in all their different powers!

Friend’em is the culmination of walking so many paths. It involves seeing the brilliance in others and their struggles, understanding the rippling effects we have on each other, and choosing to empower people. Together we can lessen the intrusive voices of loneliness and self-deprication so many deal with. The list of Friend’em services include 1-on-1 coaching, workshops that help you practice different aspects of making friends, corporate events, keynote speeches, and a book in the works. I want to help you build the friend network you’ve dreamt of!

We’d love to hear a story of resilience from your journey.

The time is January 2020. I am a frail tropical flower. I’ve been in Texas most of my life, with occasional stays to visit family in Panama. I live for Texas summers. I love the food in Austin. I have hundreds of friends here…and yet I am moving to Champaign, Illinois to go work on Saints Row (2022) at a studio called Volition. I have never lived out of the state…in the winter…in a place where I did not know anyone. I sadly needed to put my elderly dog down before the move. Oh. Oh nooooooo –

One of my best friends had driven up with me and helped me unload into my spacious new apartment that was in the heart of downtown Champaign. There is a fabulous pizzeria there – Pizzeria Antica – and it really helped me get my home settled. The new team at work was magical, patient, and understanding. I was getting to meet a virtual friend I had made during the interview visit for the first time in person. I was gaining momentum and riding high!

The first test came in a food recommendation. Dear friends who made the recommendation, if you’re reading this…How dare y’all! I went over to the suggested place, a Mexican restaurant, and struck up a conversation with the staff. Very cool people. I ordered chips and salsa to start. Salsa was not what I was given. The plate I ordered was “fine”, and I intended to keep my feedback to myself. That was until I was asked and assured that they could handle any negative feedback, given their history with Mexican cuisine. I was polite yet explicit with what I had expected to see. Fortunately, my humorous delivery won over the staff and I had developed a new regular spot to frequent!

That was until March. While I had gained ground in settling in, it was going to snow on my birthday – which was unacceptable. So, I flew back to Austin to avoid the snow. Only to see on the news that “Miss. Rona” was spreading around the world. Anxiety ran high. I got masks. I flew back after seeing my close friends, narrowly avoiding the massive backup of O’Hare Airport, and locked myself in my apartment. The subsequent months were hard. Not being in people’s presence any more felt like I was being starved. I was waving at people on a walk to get my “peopleing”. I was homesick. I missed my creature comforts I could no longer get. I was still getting acquainted at work with my teams. The ides of March, indeed.

Through all of this, I rallied my teams and myself. I collaborated with brilliant people to create new ways to work that made us more connected. I started meetings called “How we doin’?” to talk about the elephants in the room and let out steam. I met with my new friends at a healthy distance. I became known as the “Okra guy” at the local masked farmer’s market. I picked up running from a new friend. I was checking on all of my friends around the world and making sure they knew I was in their corner.

Flash forward a little over a year and I was finally getting to experience Champaign with my new vaccine! I was seeing the festivals and enjoying Suzu, a Japanese bakery that opened across the street from me. I was meeting new people. I was moving mountains at work…and I was ultimately leaving that job to go back to Austin.

I had my fill. I ran the experiment. I made a ton of friends. I solved new problems. I recognized how great I am at what I do. I did things I never thought I’d do. I had been resilient and it was now time to be back home in the heat I loved.

What do you think helped you build your reputation within your market?

The biggest aspect of doing what I do is being someone that people can feel safe with. It is followed by setting the understanding that this is a space for them to feel seen, heard, and supported. Lastly, it is setting expectations of what to expect from me.

Most people who have worked with me know that I’m big about setting those three pillars in place. It doesn’t matter if my work-mode Project Manager hat is on, if it is fun and bubbly “Michael Show” time, or if I am here to be your Friendship Coach – We are going to be on the same page and the space will be safe for us to have a true conversation.

What has helped build my reputation is the fact that people have discovered they all have similar stories of interacting with me. It is consistency. It is that genuine care and want to multiply the smiles in the room that is helping me build my reputation.

Contact Info:

• Website: https://www.friendem.net
• Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/letsfriendem?utm_source=ig_web_button_share_sheet&igsh=ZDNlZDc0MzIxNw==
• Linkedin: https://www.linkedin.com/company/friendem/

Image Credits

Garrett Souza. Michael Blackard, Bradley Matthews