We’re excited to introduce you to the always interesting and insightful Mercedes Barker. We hope you’ll enjoy our conversation with Mercedes below.

Mercedes, looking forward to hearing all of your stories today. To kick things off, we’d love to hear about things you or your brand do that diverge from the industry standard

The “industry standard” for divorce is each spouse gets their own attorney and they duke it out that way. This process results in 10’s of thousands of dollars, quite often a bitter end, a family that has now been fractured, and a less than optimum settlement agreement. What’s mssing in this process is a financial expert, one who is knowledgeable and who has the credentials in all aspects of the division of assets and liabilities, someone who can custom-design a settlement agreement to meet the goals and needs of each spouse and family not just for now, but for life post-divorce.

Your Divorce™ was founded on the premise that there’s a better way than the traditional approach to divorce. Most couples actually want a smoother transition. Despite the emotional turmoil, the anger, or resentments they may be carrying, they really do want what’s best for them and their family. And obviously, what’s best is less conflict, less cost, a family nucleus that remains intact, and a softer landing for all affected.

Sometimes, there are those cases that involve high-conflict personalities (HCPs) who make it nearly impossible to cooperate in the best interest of the family … and one spouse needs to do the bulk of the work on the untangling. I’m very passionate about helping spouses in this kind of marriage and firmly believe no one should endure that kind of abuse. Spouses married to HCPs need an advocate. They need the support, clarity, and confidence to get through their divorce process.

Awesome – so before we get into the rest of our questions, can you briefly introduce yourself to our readers.

I found my calling with Your Divorce. My two up-close personal experiences with divorce, my own divorce and my husband’s divorce, brought me to the realization that so many divorces are just not handled well.

My Divorce: During the last 7 years of our 20 years together, my ex-husband and I simply morphed into best friends and drifted away from each other as a couple. There wasn’t a single event that triggered it, we just grew apart as a couple while keeping the family intact. My divorce was as easy as a divorce could possibly be. We’re still family and best of friends. I naively just assumed most divorces were like mine.

My husband’s divorce: Tom and I met 13 years ago. Actually, we re-met. We’d been in elementary school together. That was the last I saw or heard of him until 2012, when he found me on Facebook 42 years later. He had been divorced for a number of years already.

While Tom and I have a wonderful and exciting life together, these 13 years haven’t been without some trying times as baggage and dysfunction from his divorce spilled over into our world. Our previous marriages and divorces couldn’t be more different, but it’s the stark contrast and what we experienced that contributed to the inspiration that led to the creation of Your Divorce™.

Tom was married to a high-conflict personality. Their children learned and acquired similar personalities that began to surface in full force the older they got. In my story, I experienced and witnessed repeated patterns of conflict and drama with outbursts of verbal disrespect.

Tom and I consulted with numerous mental health professionals to better understand the dynamics. I read every book and article I could find on the subject. I even became a Certified Divorce Coach and a Certified Transition and Recovery Coach to acquire skill sets to better help others in similar situations.

Years later as I look back, this is an experience I truly embrace and am thankful for. While there was a steep and painful learning curve, once you really get it, you can’t unget it. Once you figure it out, it becomes predictable behavior. When you can predict it, you can preempt. When you can preempt, you create your boundaries and begin to heal. When you begin to heal, you feel empowered and in control of your life again.

I know for a fact that it’s possible to get unstuck from an unhealthy never-ending cycle of toxicity and I am passionate about helping spouses get out from under.

Let’s talk about resilience next – do you have a story you can share with us?

I have a move-mountains mindset to get where I think I need to go. If I believe in something strongly enough, I will keep plugging no matter what anyone says. My business in some ways cuts into the traditional roles of mediators and family law attorneys (both of which, by the way, I totally admire and learn from every day). However, I have run into some professionals who have told me “you’ll never be able to pull this off”, “you’ll be targeted where you’ll never succeed” etc. I always thought, what compels a professional to say such a petty thing? Of course, I pay no attention. In fact, it only reinforces the idea that my mission has value and there’s a space for my services.

Most importantly, an entrepreneur has to learn to tune out the naysayers and go after what they believe in, what they’re trying to create, with heart and soul.

We’d love to hear about how you keep in touch with clients.

One thing about divorce is, my clients are not likely repeat customers. For their sake, I sure hope not! But a good divorce experience will be shared with others. Spouses are coming to you at the last 30 seconds of their 10-30 year marriage. It’s their world and I’m just passing by, so to speak. That said, in a short amount of time, they share that intricate world and I am helping them piece together an elegant out, financial security for themselves and their family. You can’t help but be up close right out of the gate. I like to nurture that trust. That closeness more times than not forms a friendship that goes beyond divorce. I like to keep in contact with them to see how they are progressing and celebrate with them all the good things happening in their lives.

Contact Info:

• Website: https://www.your-divorce.com
• Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/yourdivorce_tx/
• Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/833DivvyUp
• Linkedin: https://www.linkedin.com/in/mercedesbarker/