We were lucky to catch up with Melissa Ximena Golebiowski recently and have shared our conversation below.

Hi Melissa Ximena, thanks for joining us today. We’d love to hear about when you first realized that you wanted to pursue a creative path professionally.

I picked Penn State for their communications program since it was one of the top in the country at the time (this was 2005). I started out in journalism, in what I thought might be a more “practical” area of writing that would allow me to explore the world and engage with others in a deeper way. Most of my assignments were returned covered in red marks indicating what was perceived as personal bias. It is very difficult to convey something of depth without some sort of bias whether it be consciously or not. That’s when I decided to pursue public relations, where I was allowed to be biased, on purpose, and still use the creative side of my brain. It wasn’t until I graduated college that I expanded beyond poetry and started writing short longer form fiction and taking workshops and classes on my own. I started going to book launches and literary events, authentically engaging with other writers and found a community. Since I worked full-time outside of the literary world and publishing industry, a lot of folks found that interesting. I left my full-time role eventually to do public relations and marketing for artists and authors on a sliding scale but found that to be unsustainable financially. I still provide service to a few a select friends but I spilt my time between the literary world and my full-time role in aerospace (weird, I know) because that works best for me. Financial stability is one of my core values so in order to create, I need to have that grounding. I can’t have my creative world be my sole financial path, otherwise it becomes tarnished from all that pressure. This is very specific to myself and the way I choose to move through the world. It took me until about 29 to feel comfortable with this decision. I ended up signing with an agent that same year.

Great, appreciate you sharing that with us. Before we ask you to share more of your insights, can you take a moment to introduce yourself and how you got to where you are today to our readers.

Honestly, I have an innate curiosity about other people and that has served me well in my artistic career. I was able to learn more about publishing and the literary world by engaging with those writers and editors that were already apart of it. After that, it felt like things came to me. People asked me to do things, to submit. My agent found me. I wish I had a better story than “just be yourself, listen to others, don’t waste your time with people that you don’t have a connection with and don’t expect anything from the people you do” but that’s kind of what happened to me. Don’t go into a book launch party looking to network, go to a book launch party because you want to support that author or writer. If you enjoy someone’s work, tell them. Then talk about other life things that have nothing to do with writing because that’s where the connection and fun really begins.

I mainly publish short stories and creative non-fiction (experimental essays). I’m currently signed with Rayhane Sanders of MMQ. She also represents authors like Lidia Yuknavitch and Myriam Gurba. I am working on a collection of short stories which will be illustrated by my husband, pop surrealist artist, Jim McKenzie. I am the “when the mood strikes” type of creative. I’m only in my late 30s now, but I feel so good about only writing when I feel moved to. I don’t need to rush my process or art like I felt pressured to when I first started. It’s really a blessed way to work.

The core of my work focuses the cyclic nature of life and death, how we connect to our ancestors, and how people move through life after loss and grief have touched them. My multi-cultural background influences much of my storytelling, with both of my parents being immigrants. My father is from a rural farm village in Poland and my mother from the city center of Ecuador so I grew up as the first born immersed in both my American upbringing and the worlds my parents left behind. It’s always felt as an in between- being America but noticing a difference between the way other people’s families and parents acted. It also took me a long time to understand the complexities of my Ecuadorian background, how words that we used which I thought were Spanish were actually Kichwa and how intertwined my indigenous roots were with the European Spanish. How the Spanish side, which was still mixed, viewed the indigenous members. These themes come up in my characters but they are never the central focus (except one story) because though immigrants and mixed children do face certain internal conflicts and external struggles, they also experience “regular” life scenarios. I say this because people are often encouraging writers from these backgrounds to write about the struggle, the pain, etc. These stories are important, no doubt, but they are not the only stories. If we want to create a truly inclusive view of American lives, we need to showcase more diverse voices doing something universal beyond just simply a story of struggle.

I often tap into dark humor and I like to take weird routes to get to the heart of my story- think Carmen Maria Machado vibes. I also work at a space start up (it’s called Outpost, we do precision earth return…cool, I know) and constantly write a made up sitcom based on that experience in my head. It’s a bit of a running joke to a few at my job. I think that’s how I balance the non writing full-time work role, by bringing in creativity and humor even if it’s just my imagination. I will probably write the pilot one day, for fun.

Learning and unlearning are both critical parts of growth – can you share a story of a time when you had to unlearn a lesson?

It’s taken quite some time but I’ve realized that your journey isn’t nor does it have to unfold in a linear fashion. When I graduated from Penn State’s College of Comm, I had this idea in my head that I needed to get a certain type of job and move through a traditional path of growth. It is jarring to move from years of schooling with education in multiple subjects (both creative and non) into the professional world where suddenly you are encouraged to be hyper focused on one expertise or area. I graduated my program a year early and ended up in the 2008 job market and my job prospectives were limited. I’ve learned about what I value and don’t throughout the roles I’ve had both creative and corporate areas. I’ve used my communications background in marketing for beauty brands but I’ve also done publicist work through my own company for artists, authors, and literary organizations. Right now, I support the CEO of a space company (yes, like outer space) but I am also a published writer signed with an agency. I have switched industries completely and I don’t regret any of it, even the jobs that I couldn’t wait to leave, because I always end up choosing what is the best way for me to spend my time- with the understanding that I must to work to maintain my best needs and values- a roof over my head, food for my son, or having enough money to buy plane tickets to visit family (both my parents are immigrants so we have a lot of family abroad).

Don’t worry if your path doesn’t look like what you or society thinks it should, we are making it all up as we go along while trying to survive through the circumstances that we find ourselves in. Also, if you do enjoy a more traditional path, go for it. If you aren’t sure yet, the best thing I could tell you is ask questions and really listen to the answers that people give you. It will help you unlock the answers to your own needs. I’m actually jumping into another career journey soon, obtaining my Masters in Social Work to become a LCSW. I’ve crafted this idea to open my own private practice and storefront that serves as a community center. Regardless of what professional role I find myself in, I’ll still be writing or teaching fiction. That’s always been a constant.

What’s the most rewarding aspect of being a creative in your experience?

Engaging with people and community in a deeper way is probably one of the biggest blessings of being a creative individual. I value being able to look at perspectives from multiple viewpoints and find beauty in experiences that maybe aren’t so easily witnessed by others. I’ve always been curious about people and culture which is why I value travel. I like that I get to live in a space that doesn’t pledge steadfast allegiance to anything really. In the spaces were allegiance to one thing, person or place is chosen, someone’s humanity is always comprised. I like that I don’t have to compromise anyone’s humanity. Instead, I am constantly seeking other’s humanity.

Contact Info:

• Website: www.melissaximena.com
• Instagram: @melissaximena
• Linkedin: https://www.linkedin.com/in/melissa-x-golebiowski/
• Other: If you want to take generative writing classes with me, I teach online classes (all levels & genres) at Sackett Street. Check out sackettworkshop.com. If you want to know more about the space start up I work for that isn’t Space X, check out outpost.space.