We were lucky to catch up with Melissa Lapin recently and have shared our conversation below.

Alright, Melissa thanks for taking the time to share your stories and insights with us today. Do you feel you or your work has ever been misunderstood or mischaracterized? If so, tell us the story and how/why it happened and if there are any interesting learnings or insights you took from the experience?

I am 52 years old and I am still misunderstood. It breaks my heart any time someone misinterprets something I say or do as being mean, harsh, controlling, and worst of all arrogant.
I have a very strong personality. I am a leader. I am opinionated. I carry wisdom. Each one of these characteristics by itself makes me a threat to some and intimidating to others who don’t know their own value and strengths but put them all together and I’ve had a life of being misunderstood and mischaracterized as a domineering, controlling, know it all. In my unknowing and immaturity, I totally have been. But somewhere on the journey of self-discovery, a lot of counseling, and a good personal community I found me. And now I love who I am. I know me. I don’t defend myself anymore instead I help people understand who I am. There’s a big difference in that perspective. There’s power in that perspective.
I’m not on the defensive all the time which allows so much freedom of thought and emotion. We spend too much of our time as a society trying to prove ourselves instead of just being.
Learning my core values, beliefs, and personality giftings through tests like DISC, Strength Finders, Myers Briggs, Enneagram, etc, (I’m a test junky) and then having a coach to process the findings changed the game for me and allowed me to go on the offensive instead of the defensive.
When you have a clear grasp of who you are you can help others understand your value regardless of how they have misinterpreted you.
As I am having this interview I’m going through a situation where I have been mischaracterized to the point there is now mediation between myself and another party. I’m not defensive about it, and I haven’t lost sleep over it because I know who I am and I know that my intentions were not to harm anyone and I have confidence that it will work out and we will both”win” and by “winning” I mean that there will be an understanding between us.

Melissa, love having you share your insights with us. Before we ask you more questions, maybe you can take a moment to introduce yourself to our readers who might have missed our earlier conversations?

My name is Melissa Lapin and I’m a wife, mom of two, grandma of one, and friend to many. The older I get the more I love my life. I love adventure and life is the biggest adventure of all. The unexpected twists and turns it gives are opportunities to be creative, learn and grow. I’ve been a travel agent (back when they were a thing), a personal trainer, and currently, I’m a life coach and a creative entrepreneur with aspirations of being a public speaker having spoken at several retreats I rather enjoyed it. My heart is happiest when positive things are happening and people are growing and becoming their true selves. I am a person of deep faith in Jesus as my deliverer, God as a good, kind, loving Heavenly Father, and Holy Spirit as the bringer of the wisdom I need to enjoy this life as the awesome person I am created to be. I live in Metro Atlanta and have a creative space that I launched in the summer of 2019 called The Parlor where we hang out playing with art supplies and have meaningful conversations on the regular. I host creative workshops and mini-retreats. I have guest artists come in and teach workshops as well. Almost nothing is out of the question as long as it’s inclusive and super fun.
In the fall of 2022, I will be launching a podcast called “After The Well” full of interviews with average folks who have encountered the Father’s heart in an area of life and are now walking in freedom and revelation of the goodness of God. They have a story to tell and I want to help facilitate that part of their journey.
My aspiration in life is to lead people into an experience that is life-altering whether it’s through creativity or conversation. Life is too short to be miserable and aimless. We are all in this together and we need each other to make us better. That’s why I became a life coach 7 years ago. Being able to partner with people anywhere on their journey and locking arms with them is a thrill for me. Getting in the trenches and getting dirty with people is where I thrive. I don’t mind messy in art or life. As long as we are having fun and moving forward I’m in. I hope we meet somewhere on your journey.

Let’s talk about resilience next – do you have a story you can share with us?

I believe that a person can only have true resilience if they know their “who” of self. There’s a line in a book I read that talks about not being like children tossed to and fro because of things that they hear that they can choose to believe – our beliefs about who we are can be shaped by others and we have to be careful who we let speak to us.
As a creative person, I have to be on guard at all times and stand firm in knowing that I am an artist regardless of how someone – usually a stranger who has nothing invested in a relationship with me – engages with a piece of art that I’ve done. Sometimes it hurts. But knowing that art is my happy place and that I do it for me and no one else allows me to brush off the hurt and stand firm knowing that I’m doing what I was created to do. Being judged or looked down upon because my art isn’t whatever someone else thinks it should be is a real issue in the creative community, but because I know who I am I can come back from any comment or criticism, get centered again, and keep going forward taking with me the lesson that I learned from the encounter.

What do you think is the goal or mission that drives your creative journey?

The only thing driving me as a creative studio owner is that I love making stuff and I love it, even more, when others hang out with me and we play together. When someone who doesn’t consider themselves “an artist” sits down and fingerpaints for three hours and is laughing with joy or sometimes crying with breakthrough my heart soars!! I love the freedom that comes as a result of convincing someone that we aren’t making a museum-quality work of art, that it will be ugly before it’s pretty, and that we are just playing with supplies and whatever happens happens, but you’ll have a story to tell, I’ve had more than a few workshop attendees write social media posts about the breakthrough experience they had at The Parlor (my studio). And several have come back multiple times and brought friends!

Contact Info:

• Website: www.theparlor.life
• Instagram: theparlorsmyrna
• Facebook: @theparlorsmyrna
• Other: artwork IG – @missyjaneart

Image Credits
Melissa Lapin – photographer