We recently connected with Megumi Naganoma and have shared our conversation below.

Hi Megumi, thanks for joining us today. What’s been the most meaningful project you’ve worked on?

Trigger Warning: SA and mental health

I started the Doodle Book series on accident. The series wasn’t originally going to be a series. It began as a single sketchbook and a way to cope with my mental health.

I have Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) from a sexual assault and although I generally live well day-to-day, I still have the obstacles that come with trauma and a mental health disorder. About five and a half years ago I moved to a new place and I was looking for a way to ease my mind. I began doodling in a sketchbook whenever I felt my mind wander. At the time. it was heightened due to being somewhere new, but due to stress from the very common experience of moving, my PTSD was a bit harder to keep at bay.

Doodling what I think/feel is a quick release of those negative feelings, and it is also a way to express positive emotions as well. The doodling is a helpful multitool because even when I am happy, sometimes anxiety creeps up without warning. Having myself focused on the little task at hand and figuring out how to express what I am going through at the present time allows my mind to focus on the world around me.
For example, I would be with a group of people, while masking as attentive, but instead was in my head. The doodling became a quick way to ground myself and be actively engaged again. I am very open about my PTSD, so if needed, I communicate why all the doodling.

Over the years, my mental health has fluctuated, and I have learned more ways to cope and heal. I go through periods of the doodling being a daily thing or it be rarely visited. That being said, I do still doodle. At this point, it has become a record of the ins and outs of my life; the good, the bad, and the ugly. Included are the symptoms of PTSD, such as anxiety, depression, flashbacks, etc. The core purpose of these books still rings true; they are a coping mechanism and a way to take care of myself.

There are about 16 Doodle Books now. Around the time of Doodle Book No.4, I was encouraged to let people in, the way I have with other artworks. Sometimes some of these books are displayed in shows. They’ve become a window for people to access my mind – someone who has mental health issues that is experiencing life, and everything that comes with it. I would say these books are validating of things that can be hard to talk about and are relatable.

Great, appreciate you sharing that with us. Before we ask you to share more of your insights, can you take a moment to introduce yourself and how you got to where you are today to our readers.

Trigger Warning: SA and mental health

My whole life I have gravitated towards the arts; as time went by my interest in mental health began to grow as well.
When the time came, I pursued an art education and was considering psychology as well. Little did I know that my art would become a form of advocating or be mental health informed.

At the end of my first year, I found myself in a dangerous situation that someone else chose for me. It left me angry and lost.
Against loved ones’ pleas, I went back to that same university and fumbled throughout the following year. I did not know I had PTSD, although now I know the signs were clear and I was masking them instinctively the best I could. When the first anniversary of my attack approached I felt helpless again. I needed not just to survive but to persevere. I began to make subtle art about what happened and started talking more openly. I learned about my disorder and what a trigger is; how I did not want anyone to be triggered by me or my art. That led me to learn how to create, while also considering my community.

It has been over ten years later since that fateful day. There have been many ups since then, but I definitely still have PTSD. While I still wish it never happened, it has led me to be more empathetic, I have discovered my resilience, and it has made me an advocate. Everyone knows multiple survivors, whether they know it or not. I want survivors to be heard, acknowledged, not shamed, and lifted up. This only ends if we ALL have these hard conversations; keeping it quiet only creates shadows for it to hide behind, it does not stop it.

It’s not an easy topic, but I am most proud to be able to use my art to advocate for anyone that carries this weight and remind them that they are not alone.

For you, what’s the most rewarding aspect of being a creative?

Making something out of nothing. An idea/a feeling is not something tangible, on its own it can only really be explained. The creative process gives form and accessibility to what the artist had within their mind. They are communicating, from artist to viewer using the objects they’ve created.

Art is the process of imagination coming together in the physical world. For as long as humans have existed, we have been creatives. This drive has come from various sources, whether it be due to deities, as a way of record keeping, a form of beautifying culture, or having self-expression.

Artists and craftspeople, we have always made something out of nothing.

In my case, my experiences weigh heavy and I empathize with others who share similar stories. My process has me learning and reading constantly and it results in these ideas and feelings. I aim to make something beautiful that informs viewers of this heavy topic. Sometimes I use fabric or hair or pens or dirt or whatever- whatever I feel can make the idea come to life. Ultimately, I aim to create understanding.

Can you share a story from your journey that illustrates your resilience?

Trigger Warning: SA and mental health

I started working with this concept before the #MeToo movement and it definitely felt lonelier then. Talking about rape and PTSD has been taboo for quite some time. Exhibiting this artwork was more difficult before, and at times discouraging – “Why aren’t we talking about this?” My practice isn’t exactly “fun” and can be hard to display, sometimes this can depend on the venue or expected audience. That being said, the dialogue behind it has been more welcomed over the years. The #MeToo movement has helped, but as a society, there is still a lot to uncover there, and there is still quite a long road in ahead.

I never thought that this is the direction my art, or my life in general, would take. There have been dark periods where I have wanted to walk away from it all, to give up; in the same breath, I feel like that lets predators win, and I am not willing to back down. I’ve had to learn how to not re-traumatize myself when researching these concepts and give myself grace when I need a break. I need to take care of myself so I can take care of others.

Contact Info:

• Website: https://www.meguminaganoma.com/
• Instagram: megumi_naganoma
• Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/people/Megumi-Naganoma-Art/100063689462802/

Image Credits
Photos of Flowers Are For Picking by Todd Jones Photos of Listen to them. by Abigail Fischer