We recently connected with Megan Negendank and have shared our conversation below.

Hi Megan, thanks for joining us today. We’d love to hear about the best advice you’ve ever given to a client? (Please note this response is for education/entertainment purposes only and shouldn’t be construed as advice for the reader)

This sounds counterintutive, but the best advice I’ve ever given a client is no advice at all. When clients come to therapy, they are working through painful experiences, emotions, and beliefs. Out in the world with their friends and family, if they turn to others for support they are often met with advice. People love to give advice to each other. This can sometimes be helpful and is usually well-intentioned, but on a deeper level we humans like to give advice because it is uncomfortable to see someone we care about in pain. By giving advice to our loved ones, we may be sending them messages like “you need to fix this” or “I know better than you” or “it’s not okay to feel this way you feel right now, do something about it.”

This can feel dismissive to the person receiving the advice or encourage them to push their feelings down and take action. In therapy, we give space to feelings without “rescuing” our clients with advice giving. Overtime our clients learn to trust themselves and they also get stronger when it comes to facing difficult feelings and situations. By not giving advice in most instances, my clients are able to grow at a deeper level.

As always, we appreciate you sharing your insights and we’ve got a few more questions for you, but before we get to all of that can you take a minute to introduce yourself and give our readers some of your back background and context?

I’m Megan Negendank, LMFT, CST and I’m a relationship & trauma psychotherapist in California. I founded Love Heal Grow, a relationship-focused therapy center where we specialize in trauma, anxiety, and intimacy. Our 23 expert clinicians provide therapy to folks in Midtown Sacramento and throughout California.

Clients choose to work with us because we train our clinicians on leading relationship and trauma practices such as Emotionally Focused Therapy, Gottman Method, EMDR, and Internal Family Systems. Our work goes deep with clients so they can trust we aren’t just putting a bandaid on their struggles, but helping them heal at the root of their pain.

Love Heal Grow centers attachment theory and anti-racist care. Our clients feel supported to create the lives and relationships they want after working for us.

I personally specialize in Complex PTSD and how the trauma we experienced in the past can impact our ability to build strong intimate relationships. I am the author of Loving Someone who has Sexual Trauma and you can find me at @megan.lovehealgrow on Instagram. Clients looking for therapy in California or coaching throughout the United States can visit our website at www.lovehealgrow.com for more information.

Can you share a story from your journey that illustrates your resilience?

I’m a survivor of childhood trauma myself. I didn’t quite understand the impact that my upbringing had on my mental and relational health until I was in college and had some distance from my family. I benefited from taking an interpersonal relationships psychology class that taught me about attachment in both childhood and adult relationships. It became clear to me that the abuse I suffered in childhood had deeply impacted my ability to feel safe in friendships and dating relationships. Attachment theory gave me direction both personally and professionally. I sought out my own therapy to work through my experiences and also learned to build more secure relationships with others–and that requires seeking out people who are also interested in building healthy relationships. I met my husband during this time and we learned together how to build deeper emotional connection than either of us had experienced before. I continued to study psychology and attachment until I became a licensed therapist myself. I founded Love Heal Grow so I could bring attachment healing to others in my community and I named my practice for my relationship with my husband. Through our love, I was able to heal and grow. This is the power of attachment.

Any advice for managing a team?

I weave attachment into every area of my practice including management of my team. We’ve grown immensely and now have 27 employees. Attachment theory guides me to create a safe and nurturing workplace for everyone at the practice. My team is made up of incredible people who are most importantly human beings with their own experiences, identities, needs and desires. Too many business owners are only focused on the bottom line and want to push their employees to produce. I have found that our team members do much better work and are much happier at work when they are met with humanity, nurturing, collaboration and flexibility. Our clients can feel the benefits of our workplace culture on a deep level.

Contact Info:

• Website: https://www.lovehealgrow.com
• Instagram: @megan.lovehealgrow

Image Credits

Susan Yee Photography