We’re excited to introduce you to the always interesting and insightful Meg Freeman. We hope you’ll enjoy our conversation with Meg below.
Alright, Meg thanks for taking the time to share your stories and insights with us today. We love heartwarming stories – do you have a heartwarming story from your career to share?
I had the opportunity to professionally and personally wear two incredible hats – marrying my training and education with being a support to my best friend in her mother’s terminal illness. This field of work is designed to be applied in the community to family, friends, people you know, and people you do not know. We spoke for many months having honest, raw, and wholehearted conversations around goals, sudden shifts, how to support her mother, how to take care of herself, and processing all the emotions in between. We were preparing, as much as one could. What we couldn’t plan for is the beautiful, magical moments which took place. Something I like to encourage my clients to do is continue living life with their person, in whatever capacity they can, which is something my friend did exceedingly well. When I think of profound experiences in my work, the most significant moment was when my friend spontaneously played the song ‘Super Trooper’ by ABBA for her mother. As we both stood at the foot of her mother’s bed, we turned to each other and instinctively knew what this moment was for. My friend and I began synchronously dancing for her mother, as if we had previously choreographed the movements. Her mother was comforted by our dancing and it seemed to cause remembrance of the fun she experienced in life, as we gave her joy and presence. She made sure someone got her phone to take a video of us, because making sure the memory was saved was important to her, regardless of whether or not she would get to watch it again. When we talk about goals and objectives at the end of life, many times it is capturing small JOYS – how can we sprinkle in those moments of joy that resonate for your person and that may represent a canvas of what they loved in their life. In my moments, days, and weekends with my friend’s mother – my doula hat became firmer in place with a sense of assurance. My friend’s mother gave me the gift of trust and confirmation I was exactly where I should be and should continue to be as she told my friend one night, “That Meg is a great Doula.”
As always, we appreciate you sharing your insights and we’ve got a few more questions for you, but before we get to all of that can you take a minute to introduce yourself and give our readers some of your back background and context?
I have always felt called to be a deep support to others. When loved ones encountered difficult and devastating situations, it is when I felt most connected to knowing my purpose as it also revealed to me what truly makes us human. My openness and curiosity for life’s mysteries and the concept of death was apparent in my younger years; especially when I experienced loss at the age of 12. My Aunt Ali died at 28 years young which caused me to realize and process that we do not only die when we are elderly. As I grew older, I witnessed people in my life experiencing tragic loss and terminal illnesses. I naturally became the person to walk alongside them in the process of dying and journey of grief. Two years ago, I felt an aching to channel my skills and apply myself to meaningful work – I just didn’t know exactly what it was yet. One important day, I heard Alua Arthur with Going with Grace (who ended up being my future death doula teacher) speak about being a Death Doula on a podcast, and then suddenly I had my “aha” moment. Hearing there is an offering that existed to walk alongside people in their darkest hour, coincided with what I had been doing and felt a pull towards for most of my life. For those that haven’t heard of what an End-Of-Life Doula (or Death Doula) is, in short, they provide non-medical, holistic, practical, and emotional support and guidance to the individual and their circle of support for those preparing for or experiencing critical transformative life changes, end of life, the dying process, grief & bereavement, and/or healthy individuals that want to build a comprehensive end of life plan. They are trained and educated in the realm of death and dying and the organization required to support in both a logistical and emotional manner. Learning this, everything that I was for myself and for others equated to a moment of clarity, awakening, and enlightenment. My openness and willingness to be present for others in death, birthed the true meaning behind Organically Human. Organically Human was created three years prior to my realization, and it was an outlet for my writings and thoughts via instagram. Turns out, my intuition was my guide in a couple of ways – I knew the name of my End-Of-Life Doula business years before knowing how I would apply it and I was proactively educating myself on how to support my best friend through her mother’s terminal illness. Organically Human describes the natural process of the human experience in life and in death, holding both fear and beauty in each hand. We strive to normalize our mortality through empowerment, education, and support. Our core values are advocacy, compassion, and autonomy and we aim to be a valuable resource for our clients. so they can focus on themselves and/or their person. Some examples of our services are practical support such as creating an organized action plan for wrapping up affairs, bridging connections with referral resources, guidance in advance care directives, documenting end-of-life wishes, and education & resources about the dying process to make well-informed decisions. Emotional support such as serving as a companion and advocate to the individual & support person to the family caregiver, planning & holding vigil at the bedside by creating a nurturing and comfortable environment, and being an 11th hour transition guide. Other unique services such as grief companionship, remembrance poems (channeling my love for writing), facilitating life reviews/story preservation, legacy projects planning, living gathering planning, and ritual and ceremony support. What all of these services and offerings provide to others is the ability to assess their lives and let it remind them of what they loved, who they loved, how to feel less alone and validated in their circumstances, and someone like me is willing to step into a space that sometimes may be avoided. Being in death work can often be assumed from others to be difficult and heartbreaking, and it’s not that it isn’t, but it also teaches me about living. Having discussions around mortality can possibly ease some anxiety around it, envisioning what the next life may be like (depending on belief system), and what would be beautiful in death, can maybe bring a sense of serenity. To me, it feels like I’m catering to myself in a way that goes beyond this earth. I like to live in a place where I give permission to my people and clients to have these rich conversations that can possibly lead to a type of support that yes, is difficult and heartbreaking, but also sacred and fascinating. Being present, being here in this moment, and taking notice to the precious things in life, is what death can teach, if we allow it to.
Other than training/knowledge, what do you think is most helpful for succeeding in your field?
I believe in order to succeed in this field, it has a lot to do with accepting that I do not know everything, there are always big unforeseen dynamics at play, and I am not there to fix anything. Being open and not going into any new space or situation with expectations or assumptions, is key. It is not about making sure to say or do the right things because what someone is experiencing is not about me. Allowing my client to be my guide, while providing presence and offering my own unique skills, is the approach I take for this work. It is a natural human feeling to support someone with helpful words, and there’s a time for this in the right moment. However, active listening and mirroring back to others on what they are expressing in order for their emotions and feelings to not be clouded with my own, is extremely important. Another very helpful item to succeed in this field is self-care and boundaries. If I were to absorb someone’s else’s pain and bring it into my own life, it will make someone leave this field of work. Being clear on expectations and boundaries with clients and taking care of yourself in the process, is essential. It is detrimental and causing harm to others if I am not emotionally, physically, and spiritually tending to myself.
How’d you build such a strong reputation within your market?
Planting seeds everywhere, especially in the community and identifying where support is needed the most. I am constantly finding where the gaps are and how to fill them because not everyone knows that this service exists. Personally, educating the community about End-Of-Life Doulas has been extremely beneficial for growing my network. It has helped me with referrals, while proactively building trust in those relationships over time. When people find themselves in unexpected scenarios, they will then know who to lean on and where to get the support. I have built these relationships with local hospices, funeral homes, community events, estate attorneys, hospitals, which are all examples of how End-Of-Life Doulas have to market themselves in order to be seen as a resource. Becoming a hospice volunteer (thank you Hearth Hospice!) created many valuable connections and incredible first-hand experience with the end of life – while providing sweet companionship to those that need it the most. When it comes to how I serve my market, accessibility is important. I evaluate people’s financial standing by hearing their story and typically I will be stepping into their home, which will provide indicators. I do a mix of pro bono, sliding scale, and set hourly rates depending on the services – in addition to being a hospice volunteer and working a full time real estate job. My various roles all blend and work together to provide connections and resources for the people I end up serving. I believe succeeding in this field is listening to my intuition for the right timing of everything. When to take small risks and big risks, how to dedicate my time, and constantly reevaluating what I am doing for the business and clients. It is also a lot of patience and knowing the seeds will sprout if I continue to water them. The National End-Of-Life Doula Alliance and Going with Grace (my training program) offer doula directories and are wonderful and amazing references for the public to find doulas in their area. It is also a way for doulas to connect and share resources, experiences, and advice because we are constantly continuing our education in real life scenarios.
Contact Info:
- Website: https://www.organicallyhuman-doula.com
- Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/organicallyhuman_doula/?igsh=ZGNjOWZkYTE3MQ%3D%3D&utm_source=qr
- Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/people/Organically-Human/61555455206980/
